


Are We There Yet?

by codasaurusb



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, I probably will mess up the setting but you know what? I tried, M/M, Mutual Pining, Road Trips, also you know what? FUCK episode 26 it doesn't exist even in this au, but the weapons stay the same because I hate guns! screw that, it's going to kind of be the same setting tbh, just more electronics and modern materials and everything, spoilers for characters' backstories but. you probably already knew that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-15 19:20:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 51,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15419829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/codasaurusb/pseuds/codasaurusb
Summary: Despite making his peace with his next door neighbors, Caleb Widogast has no desire to spend more time with outsiders than he has to. That being the case, how does he manage to get roped in to a cross-country road trip? And how will he keep his secrets to himself when he's spending 24 hours a day in a metal box with them- especially one very intuitive tiefling?





	1. Prologue, part one: Jester, Fjord, and Beau

**Author's Note:**

> Before we get into the actual road trip, I just wanted to do some exposition on the Mighty Nein's origin in this universe!

Caleb Widogast did not consider himself to be a people person.

After all, he had spent plenty of time on his own, at least before Nott had entered his life. He knew others were put off by his appearance, which was precisely why he cultivated it; he despised attention, positive or negative. He hid in the shadows, and Nott was happy to hide with him there. The pair travelled from town to town, never quite at ease, always pulling some con or grift, drifting aimlessly.

That had changed when they had entered Zadash. The pair had rented an apartment- just for a month, they had agreed. Enough time to get the lay of the land, make some easy coin, and disappear. They had been planning out their next project when there was an insistent knock at their door. 

"Shit!" Nott whispers, sweeping their plans off the table and bundling them away. "Caleb, should we hide?"

Caleb shakes his head. "No, Nott, we will sit here quietly, and they will, they will walk away. It is probably some neighbor asking to borrow some sugar, or something of that nature." The landlord had told them that one of the other apartments in the building was in use, when offering the choice between the two remaining, and he had seen a few of his neighbors entering and exiting the building when he did. 

The knocking comes again. Nott reaches for her crossbow quietly, and this time Caleb doesn't reassure her. For a heart-stopping moment, mind gone blank with panic, he wonders if Ikathon has found him... and then a loud voice calls from beyond the door- a female voice with a Nicodranian accent, dissimilar to Ikathon's in every way. Caleb sags back into his seat in relief.

"Excuse me!" whoever it was calls."You can pretend you don't hear us but I know I saw you go in this morning, so unless you climbed out the window or something you're probably still in there." Caleb gestures to Nott to lower her crossbow. "I will go see what they want and send them on their way, and then we can figure out a way to disguise you. No need for that." He waits for Nott's nod of agreement and then cautiously walks to the door, hearing more muffled voices as he gets closer.

"-or they could be asleep, Jester. It's rude to harass people, anyhow. Didn't that mother of yours teach you any manners?"

Caleb peers through the peephole. Distorted by the glass, he sees a large half-orc lecturing a small blue tiefling, who is pouting like a toddler.

"But Fjord, we went to so much trouble! It's only fair that they open the door! I say we sit out here and make so much noise that they have to come out."

Sighing, Caleb cracks open the door. " _Ja_ , what is it?" He makes sure to keep the door mostly closed, mostly to make the point that the pair were not welcome there.

"Hi!" The blue tiefling says, beaming at him. "I am Jester, and this is Fjord, and we brought you a present!" She thrusts a basket at Caleb, who, startled, opens the door a bit more to accept it. Looking down, he sees a couple bottles, and three small parcels wrapped in paper. A second later, he catches an overwhelming scent of flowers, mostly lavender, wafting up from it. He looks up at Jester. "Is this.... soap?"

"Yes! It smells very good!" she says, before leaning in and whispering in a stage whisper, "You should use it. You are very stinky and gross every time we pass in the hall, and I don't want you to lose your deposit because you made all your rooms smell very bad."

"Jester!" The half orc chides, pulling her back. "I apologize, sir, she hasn't had much experience with people." 

" _Ja_ , I can tell," Caleb says, blinking owlishly. Frumpkin, coming up behind him, meows softly and butts his head against Caleb's leg. Jester's eyes widen.

"You have a cat! Oh my gosh let me see him!" She pushes the door all the way open, knocking Caleb off balance, and immediately crouches on the floor, introducing herself to the cat. "I didn't know that they let us bring cats in here or else I would definitely have brought like ten!" 

Caleb feels hot and panicky. This had not been part of the plan. "Uh, they do not, and, and I would appreciate it if you did not tell them. He is not really a cat, anyway, he is my familiar."

"You have a familiar?" Jester asks, obviously delighted. "Are you a wizard? You can do magic? I'm a cleric and I can do some really cool things! Look!" And before Caleb can stop her, she mutters something, and all the windows in the room- and, from what he could tell, the apartment- slam open, and a gust of cool spring wind blows around them.

"Don't move," a familiar voice says, and turning, Caleb sees Nott, obviously out of her depth, huddled under the ledge of the kitchen island, pointing a crossbow at Jester. Out of the corner of his eye, he also sees a sword manifest in the half-orc's hand, dripping some kind of fluid onto the floor. He curses to himself in Zemnian, and tries to figure out a good way of disarming the situation.

" _Nein_ , Nott, put down your crossbow," he says, meeting her eyes to make sure she gets the message. She gnaws on her lip for a second, but slowly, reluctantly, she lowers it. Breathing an internal sigh of relief, he turns to the two intruders, and, as politely as he can, attempts a smile. The two look horrified, so he assumes it hadn't looked as reassuring as he intended, but barrels on nevertheless. "You must excuse my companion; as you can see, she is a little jumpy. We have had problems before with, er, those who dislike goblins. Surely you two understand?" He is gambling, he knows, that the two would understand; it is never certain that anyone would accept a goblin living under the same roof as themselves. 

"No offense taken," the half-orc says soothingly, and Caleb allows his racing heart to settle as the sword disappeared. "We'd appreciate it if y'all didn't point weapons at us, though, if it's all the same to you."

Caleb chuckles weakly, and turns to Jester. The pout has returned, and she obviously feels that her gift is not being received in a way she liked. Caleb would have to do something to mend this. He comes towards her, hand outstretched. "My apologies, I- I do not believe that I introduced myself. I am Caleb. This is my friend Nott, and this is my cat Frumpkin. We would have come to say hello earlier, but as you can see, we have had very little time to do anything, even bathing." Jester melts as he says that, and, to Caleb's alarm, throws her arms around him instead of accepting the handshake. She is surprisingly strong, and Caleb stands there for a second before awkwardly patting her on the back.

"It is no problem! Do you need any help with anything? We could unpack your stuff, or help you clean up, or..." 

Caleb cuts her off. " _Danke_ , but no. I believe my friend and I were in the middle of something, but perhaps later..." he allows himself to trail off, hoping Jester takes the hint. She doesn't appear to, but Fjord, thank the gods, does. 

"Yeah, Jester, let's not take any more of these fine folks' time up, huh? 'sides, it's Beau's turn to cook tonight, and if we don't get back soon, she might actually attempt to do it. Hate to have to evacuate the building again." 

Jester sighs. "Ok, Fjord," she says, disappointment audible in her voice, before whipping back around to Caleb and Nott. "But you guys have to come over for dinner tonight, ok? I'll make so much extra food and everything and you guys will be able to eat for real because if you don't have time to take a shower every once in a while you probably haven't been eating right either. You have to come, ok? It'll be at seven and I'll be SO SAD if you two aren't there!" She looks pleadingly up at Caleb, who realizes his only hope of not having a tiefling throw a tantrum in his apartment is to agree.

" _Ja_ , sure," he says reluctantly. 

"Make sure you've got lots of meat," Nott says, still hiding under the counter. "Doesn't matter what kind. And booze, too." 

"Meat and booze, coming right up!" Jester practically sings, and breezes out of the room. Fjord, looking apologetic, says his goodbyes too, and follows her at a jog to catch up.

* * *  
Dinner that night is a nerve-racking event. Caleb sits stiffly as Jester introduced their third roommate, a surly monk named Beau, who, by way of greeting, had ruffled his hair. Jester makes some not-very-subtle comments on his general cleanliness and clothes, despite Fjord kicking her under the table. Fjord himself is the only one that hadn't made Caleb's hair stand on end. He, it turned out, had an interest in magic, and holds a conversation with him about different cantrips. Caleb finds himself interested in the talk despite himself, and is halfway through a long explanation of Unseen Servant and the implications that it had when he realizes that everyone, including Nott, is staring at him.

"What is it? Why are all of you staring at me?" he asks, unnerved.

"Nothing," Beau says, smirking. "Just that, you've been quieter than me, and suddenly you're just this torrent of information." Caleb glares at her, and she puts her hands up. "No, no, it's cool that you're a total nerd, it's just. You know. Funny."

Nott gets very drunk, and decides to gamble with Jester. Jester wins handily, and agrees to pay Nott back if, and only if, they come to dinner again next week.

"What do you think, Caleb?" Nott asks quietly. "Should we do it?"

Talking to others is a risk, and Caleb knows it. If the Crownsguard come after them, these are three more people that could point them in the right direction. Still, Nott has precious few silver pieces left, and there's no harm in getting some free food every once in a while, right? And, even if he doesn't want to admit it, Caleb enjoys discussing magic. It takes him back to his childhood, but in a less painful way than he's used to.

"Why not?" he whispers, not entirely sure whether he's talking to Nott or himself.

And so they do. And next time, when the invitation is extended again, Caleb doesn't even have to think about it.


	2. Prologue part two: Mollymauk and Yasha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb, still recovering from having three... friends? acquaintances? is thrust even deeper out of his comfort zone.

Caleb renews his lease.

He can make all kinds of excuses as to why he does, and does so to Nott: that they could make more coin still, that they were safer in a big city than on the move, that there were more marks here- but he knows it is all _Scheisse_ and he knows Nott does, too. Nott doesn't say so to his face, though, because Nott is as surprised to have- well, not friends, but friendly acquaintances at least- as he is. Jester is annoying in a perky way, and Beauregarde is annoying in... well, a Beau way, and Fjord is gruff and allergic to Frumpkin, but still, it has been so long since Caleb has been able to talk to others that he can overlook these flaws. Besides, he thinks, it is more than he deserves.

Almost a month and a half into living in the apartment, though, everything changes. Caleb gets used to meeting Jester and Fjord and Beauregarde as he walks though the hall. He gets used to Jester teasing him about how dirty he is; he gets used to Fjord giving him a polite nod; he even becomes accustomed to Beau punching his shoulder in what he assumes is an affectionate manner. 

He is not used to seeing a purple tiefling leaning against the wall next to the vacant apartment, scrolling through some webpage on his phone.

He stopped, and stares, and lets himself keep staring. No matter how long he waits for his brain to adjust, he keeps finding new details to stun him, from the horn jewelry swaying slightly with every movement of his head to the coat, covered with every manner of design. The tiefling sees him after a minute, and looks up, a sardonic smile on his lips.

"What is it, dear? Never seen a tiefling before?"

" _Nein_ ," Caleb says, attempting to snap out of it. "It's just, I've never seen anyone so, so," and, unable to find the right word in common, he waves his hands in the general direction of all _that_. The tiefling seems to get it though, and his smile becomes a little more genuine. 

"Can't be blamed, I suppose. Truly, I am in a class of my own," he says, and straightens, pushing off the wall. "I'm Mollymauk Tealeaf, by the way. Molly to my friends." 

"Mollymauk," Caleb said, shaking the extended hand. "I am Caleb. Caleb Widogast." For a moment, he curses himself- why in all the gods names did he give his real last name? Molly continues talking, though, and Caleb forces himself to pay attention.

"I'm sure you've heard by now, but we're your new neighbors."

"We?" Caleb asks, looking around uneasily.

"Yasha and me," Molly says, unconcerned. "She's in there. I wouldn't go in, though- there's a human woman who came to greet us and help move us in with the others, and she's in there flirting at her. It's cringeworthy. I had to leave, I would have gone insane if I hadn't."

"Beauregarde flirting?" The very idea makes Caleb wrinkle his nose. 

"You see what I mean?"

They are interrupted by Fjord, entering carrying a box, and Jester, carrying easily three times as much. "Caaaaaaleb!" she crows, seeing him over the stack. "There you are! Isn't it exciting, we have so many people in the apartment now!" 

" _Ja_ , there certainly are a lot of us," Caleb says, moving out of the way. "I think I will head to the apartment and stay out of your way."

"Nonsense!" Molly says, throwing an arm around Caleb's shoulders and steering him after the sweating Fjord as the half orc staggered in. "Really, we should have a housewarming party! The more the merrier, I always say." 

Caleb wonders for a second why Molly, seemingly so keen to avoid the flirtation between Beau and Yasha, suddenly had had this change of heart. Looking at the tiefling's wicked smile, Caleb realizes it is most likely purely to make him uncomfortable. 

"Oh, you look exhausted," says an unfamiliar voice. Glancing over, Caleb sees a huge woman, her hair a mess of black, grey, and white, sitting on the opposite end of a crooked sofa from Beau. "Why don't you sit down and I'll get the rest?" She sounds eager. 

"That was the last box, so you don't need to worry!" Jester chirps, and Yasha sits back down reluctantly. Caleb stifles a smirk of his own. Beau, evidently, is as good at romance as she is with anything else social.

"I have to say, we owe you- Jester, was it?" Molly says, and before she can protest that it was nothing, he whips out a deck of cards. "How would you like to have your cards read?"

Jester squeals in excitement, her words indecipherable in her glee. Mollymauk sits cross-legged on the ground, and Jester eagerly sits in front of him. "Do me! Do me!"

Caleb pays no attention to Molly's cards, after a rudimentary detect magic. It doesn't seem to be anything other than an elaborate con, and he's seen enough of those to find them uninteresting. He pulls out his phone and texts Nott.

 **Caleb:** Just so you know, we have more neighbors  
**Caleb:** Very unusual ones  
**Caleb:** And one is very big  
**Nott:** ...how big?  
**Caleb:** Very.  
**Nott:** do u need any help?  
**Caleb:** Nein. I just wanted to warn you so there would be no incidents.  
**Nott:** ...do u need a knife?  
**Caleb:** Nein.

"Who you texting there, Caleb?" Molly asks, startling him. Evidently the reading is over.

"It's probably his roommate," Jester says helpfully. "Her name is Nott and she is really cool! She does try to steal sparkly things though so if you have a lot of those maybe keep them in a box or something." 

"Darling, 90% of what I own is sparkly," Molly says, sounding unconcerned nevertheless.

"Get a really big box then."

"So where y'all from?" Fjord asks.

"Here, there and anywhere," Molly says airily. "We were traveling with a circus, but it got shut down for some health and safety problems, so Yasha and I figure we'll lay low here for a while, maybe do some odd jobs." 

"Health and safety problems?" Beau asks from the sofa. Caleb notes that she has managed to scoot two inches closer to Yasha.

"Oh, one of our fellow cast members turned out to be evil and killing people, and the Crownsguard shut the whole thing down," Yasha says. Her tone was so noncommittal that Caleb struggles to tell if she were kidding or not. Evidently not, since Molly nods seriously, which seems like a rare occurrence for him.

"Well, if you want to hang out with us, we have dinner at our place every Wednesday. And I don't want to brag, but I am a REALLY good cook," Jester says.

"We would love to do that, wouldn't we, Yasha?" Molly says. Yasha hesitates, but nods.

* * *

The first dinner with Molly and Yasha there went better than Caleb had expected. Nott, naturally, was intimidated by Yasha's huge bulk. Caleb doubted that she would get over that, but Yasha seems harmless enough- she mostly chips in to agree with what anyone says. Molly, on the other hand, is a model guest. He flirts outrageously with everyone at the dinner table, tells amusing anecdotes about his past in the carnival, and overall seems to immediately slot in with the group, apart from Caleb and Nott. Nott distrusts most people, and Caleb? Caleb thinks that this circus man is full of bullshit. 

He is charming, though, and when Molly offers to host a dinner at his place on Saturday, Caleb sighs and decides in for a copper, in for a gold.

So that becomes their routine. Wednesdays, Nott and Caleb walk to the door to their left, and they have Jester's cooking, and eat desserts from a little shop that Jester has taken to frequenting, and drink wine. And on Saturdays, they walk to the door on their right, and they have whatever Yasha has cooked, or takeout when she's off doing.... well, whatever it is that she does when she goes, and they drink harder stuff, and they generally play cards. 

And the boundaries blur. They still all eat dinner together on Wednesdays and Saturdays, but it's rare to find a night where they all eat separately, too- Jester knocks on Mollymauk's door and the two crash a fancy party, coming home breathless with their pockets full of stolen silver and their bags full of expensive food. They all go out for a night of shopping except for Yasha and Nott, and when they come back, Nott is asleep curled next to Yasha, her arm protective around the goblin. Fjord tells Yasha about the hugest storm he ever saw at sea, and Yasha confesses she worships the Stormlord, nervous in spite of herself- but Fjord just pats her on the back. Beau is dragged to Molly and Yasha's apartment by the tiefling, who then remembers an errand he has to run, leaving the two awkward and alone together, bonding over their mutual fury towards Molly. In a moment of desperation, Caleb tells the story of his past to Nott and Beau, and expects for the next week to see them all turn on him, and is pleasantly surprised when they do not. A prank war starts between Beau, Molly, and Jester, with Nott keeping score. It's a rare day that goes by without one knocking on another's door. They go out and find odd jobs, performing them together, and make more money than any of them has ever had, except, perhaps, for Jester.

And after three months of this, Caleb has to admit, even to himself, that he's not staying because of money, or Zadash, or even because he keeps getting better food than he normally does. He's staying because he likes these people. He likes being able, for a time, to forget his past, forget what he's done, and live what feels almost like a normal life for a little bit. 

* * *

 

It's a rainy day and the others have all gone out to get coffee. Caleb, tired, and not in the mood to deal with social interactions, has elected to stay behind. Besides, Caleb likes rain; it provides a soothing background noise for reading. He's sitting in his bedroom, reading through an interesting book that he and Beau have been discussing: The Courting of the Crick. He hears, distantly, through his concentration, the door unlocking, then excited voices- Nott and Jester. Looking at the clock, he's surprised to see that it's nearly five. They had gone nearly three hours ago. What took them so long?

A knock on his door brings him out of his reverie. "Come in?" he calls, sliding a makeshift bookmark into the book and, remembering that it technically is smut, quickly flipping it over.

"Caleeeeeeb..." Jester tiptoes in in a way that makes him anxious. It seems like she had some kind of surprise for him. Last time she had been this excited, it was because she had thrown out half of his shirts and replaced them with new, more "stylish" shirts. These were currently at the very bottom of his dresser, as his protestations that he did not deserve it were useless against her relentless cheer. 

" _Ja_ , what is it? Does the cafe have a new kind of pastry?"

"No, but that would be really cool. No, guess what we're doing?"

"I do not know that 'we' are doing anything, but I suspect you will tell me what is going on anyway."

"Caleb, don't be so grouchy, if you're frowning all the time you'll get wrinkles really fast. We're going on a road trip together and it's all going to be so fun!"

Caleb closes his eyes, seeking patience. "Jester, why in the name of all the gods would we go on a road trip?"

"There's this girl we met, and- Caleb she was so pretty, you WOULD NOT believe it, and she's a sorcerer like you-"

"I am a wizard, Jester."

"Whatever and anyway she's going to go find this weird bowl thing, but then after that she wants to have all her stuff ready to go so she can flee, so she's going to be staying in a city, and she got a camper van so she can run away from these evil dragon guys, and she wants us to drive the van to the city so she can have it there and ready to go, and she's even paying for us to fly back. Caleb it's going to be so much fun! We're going to get so close, we're all going to be BEST FRIENDS."

Caleb sighs. "Jester, I... I think that is not a good idea. You all can go and have fun, and I can stay here and study, and when you get back, we can all have dinner together and celebrate."

She pouts, a gesture that Caleb has become familiar with over the last few months. "Caleb, you can't just sit here and read..." she hesitates, then grabs for the book. Caleb leans forward to stop her, but too late. "The Courting of the Crick? Ooooooh, Nott, Caleb is reading pooooorn..." 

Flushing, Caleb snatches the book back. "I skip the smut," he protests. "It's, it's very interesting, and you learn a lot about the interactions between the peoples of different lands..."

"I bet you do," Jester says, doing horrible things with her eyebrows. Caleb buries his face in his hands.

"Just please, leave me alone," he moans, and Jester takes pity on him and leaves, patting him on the back. 

"Ok Caleb, but we're going on a road trip and you're coming with us!" she calls at the door.

After a minute of silence, Nott speaks up. "Do you... really not want to go?"

Caleb sighs, propping himself up on his elbows and running his hand over his face. "I think not. We barely know these people. I mean, sure, they are, they are kind, or naive, or both, and they are likable, but is it worth risking our safety to go along with them?"

Nott is silent. When she speaks, it's tentative.

"Caleb, I... I think we should go." She waits to see his reaction. When he's silent, she continues, "We know they can fight, and we know that they don't want to hurt us right now. It's like you say, Caleb, we're.... we're stronger together. Besides, if we go, then we avoid drawing attention to Zadash if anyone is looking for us, and maybe there will be some books on the way, and.... and maybe there will be some really cool shit that I can take?"

Caleb hesitates. He still has misgivings. He's had his fair share of mistrust for their companions. Not Jester- she was too naive by far. Beau was a threat as long as she remembered what he had told her about his past. Fjord had threatened him when they had done a job together and he had almost taken a scroll. Yasha seemed kind, but disappeared for no apparent reason every once in a while, and who knew what she was doing? Mollymauk was a carnie who spat half-truths and lies indiscriminately and dressed like he had been hit by a tornado while in a closet. 

But. He knows, should he decide to stay, Nott will stay with him, and it's obvious that she wants to go with them. And he doesn't deserve her, or her kindness, or her help, and it's the least he can do.

"All right, then," he says, still not entirely believing he's saying this. " _Ja_ , we will go with them." 

And it's worth it. He sees her eyes light up. "Great!" she says, her voice shriller than normal. "I'll just... tell them then." And pulling out a piece of wire, she turns away from Caleb, and in a voice he supposes she thinks is below his hearing she whispers, " _Jester! Operation Grumpy Wizard is a go! You can reply to this message!_

Well. That's it, he supposes.

It's time to go on a road trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it doesn't make much sense with Cali wanting them to deliver something in the canon story line but listen. Canon's dead and I'm just hacking pieces from its corpse at this point. You can pry my weird fanfiction premise from my COLD DEAD HANDS.


	3. Hit the Road

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group sets off, and Caleb learns something about group dynamics.

Caleb spends the next week with a gnawing dread in his stomach. He does like his neighbors, genuinely. But at the same time, he doesn't know how he feels about being locked in a camper van with them for 24 hours a day, for gods know how long. He spends his time out scouring bookstores for as many books as he can bring along. Maybe if he ignores them, the trip will be easy.

Everyone else, by contrast, is extremely excited. Jester buys a map of the empire and spends the next few days putting pins in it at all the places she wants to see. It ends up looking more like a pincushion than a map, and she calls on her friends to help her narrow it down. Fjord draws up schedules, complete with driving times and drivers. Everyone else, dismayed by the lack of any fun activities, takes it upon themselves to "accidentally" lose, destroy, or otherwise invalidate the schedule. Fjord finally gets the message when Beau slides the latest schedule over to her side of the table, and, not breaking eye contact, pours her entire mug of coffee over it.

Finally, the moment arrives. Caleb packs everything into his bag the day of; he always kept everything in his room so if things went badly, he could pack and be gone quickly. Nott meets him at the door, seeming excited, though it was hard to tell with the mask covering her lower face. 

"Are you ready, Caleb?" she asks, fidgeting slightly.

"As ready as I will ever be, _Ja_ ," he says, and looks around, making sure he isn't forgetting anything. "You have what you need? Perhaps you should refill your flask?"

"Oh, there's no need for _that_. I got Pumat to enchant it so that it never runs out." The goblin shakes it to emphasize her statement.

Caleb is unsure what to say to this. He is, after all, a lightweight, and the idea of unlimited liquor is terrifying not just from a magical perspective (where was it COMING from?) but from a very personal one.

"Well, just make sure to ease up, _Ja_? We do not want you to, ah, puke in the van."

Nott gives him a look that very clearly said that Caleb was underestimating her tolerance. Before she can say anything, there is a beeping sound from the window, and Caleb glances out to see what he assumes is their ride. 

The next hour passes in a flurry of packing, negotiating with their client, and arguing over whether calling shotgun counts if not everyone heard it. At last, though, they are ready, and Cali, their client, turns to them.

"Well, good luck to all of you!"

"Same to you, Cali," Fjord says.

"Thank you, Mr. Fjord! And thank you to the rest of... do you have some kind of team name?"

They all look at each other. 

" _Nein_ ," Caleb says, eventually, when it seems like everyone is waiting for someone to either make one up or say no.

Cali's brow wrinkles in confusion. "Nine? But there's only seven of you."

Before he can clarify, Jester steps in. "Oh no, it's like, a little trick we play on our enemies, so they think there's nine of us coming." Caleb knows Jester well enough by now to know that serious look on her face actually means that she is fucking with you big-time, but Cali does not. "They're like, 'oh no it's the mighty nine, we'd better surrender because there's nine of them and they must all be super scary like these seven that we saw before,' and then they surrender and it's so much easier."

"That's very clever!" Cali says enthusiastically. "Well, good luck to the Mighty Nein!" and, looking at her phone, she murmured something about her uber being there, and left.

They last until she leaves before falling over laughing.

"The mighty nine?" Molly gasps. "What was that all about?"

"No, Molly, it's not the mighty NINE, don't be silly," Jester says, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. "It's the mighty NEIN, isn't that right, Caleb,"

Caleb is too busy trying not to laugh to speak, so he just nods.

"Well, then," Fjord says, regaining some composure. "I reckon we should head out soon. We're burning daylight. I'll drive."

"Alright then," Jester says, back to her serious face. "Mighty Nein, pile in!" 

That, of course, sets them all off again, and it takes them almost ten minutes to finally, finally get on the road.

* * *

The first day goes as well as can be expected with seven people in one van who are unused to sharing each others spaces. Caleb is pleasantly surprised at the amount of space they have; in fact, looking at the outside compared with the inside, he suspects there are multiple spells on the van, some of which most likely expand the interior. Still, it's a little uncomfortable. There's the front seat and the passenger seat, two individual seats in the middle, and a row of three seats in the back. Nott, being the smallest, is forced into the middle seat, much to her displeasure. Jester wins the shotgun debate, much to Molly's displeasure, and sits in the passenger seat, her map folded in her lap. Molly and Yasha get the two single seats, and so Caleb and Beauregarde are left to sit on either side of Nott. 

Caleb expects Fjord to be the one in charge, and is mostly correct. It is Fjord who pulls over and confiscates Nott's knives before the goblin can stab Beau. It is Fjord who convinces Molly to stop requesting that Caleb read the smutty parts of The Courting of the Crick aloud. It is Fjord who bans Jester from using the aux cable (The first play of Vengabus was very funny. The fifth consecutive play was not.) and banishes her to the backseat in favor of Yasha when she points out that it only reaches to the passenger seat. 

But it takes him the better part of the first day to realize that Molly is actually the one that is keeping them functional and running, who keeps them working as a team. He distracts Jester from sulking, showing her a vine compilation he saw and wanted to share. The two share a pair of earbuds, leaning in together to see it on his screen. When Beau complains that there's nothing to do, he turns on his hotspot, brushing off any thanks by saying that he has unlimited data, since working with the circus kept him away from most wifi. He convinces Fjord to switch places with Yasha when it becomes clear that the half-orc is tiring. When they pull into a drive-thru, he forestalls an argument about who's paying by simply handing over his money. Caleb watches him carefully. _Ja_ , he is annoying, that much has not changed in his opinion, but there are some good sides to him.

By the evening, Nott complains that no matter how many times they switch seats, she'll be stuck in the middle because she's the smallest. Beau groans and attempts to return to her nap. Fjord, from the front seat, says, "We'll stop for the night soon, Nott." Molly, however, says offhandedly, "I'll switch with you if you want." Before Caleb knows what's happening, they've pulled off into a gas station parking lot, and there's a lot of shuffling around, and suddenly instead of Nott's small form curled up next to him, there's a large purple tiefling climbing over his knee and buckling in. Beau continues to sleep peacefully. Up front, he can see that most of the other members are either asleep or half asleep. He picks up The Courting of the Crick and continues reading. Molly puts his earbuds in and leans his head back. They can ignore each other peacefully.

That plan is ruined when the sun finally sets, and the light gets dim enough that he can't read. He casts dancing lights, and from the front, Yasha almost immediately calls back to him, "Hey, can you put those out? It's really hard to see out the back when you've got a light going there."

"Oh- _Ja_ , sorry," Caleb mutters, and extinguishes the globules of light. No more reading for tonight, he supposes; maybe he could attempt to sleep, like the others. But no, he's not even remotely tired. He settles for looking out of the window instead, at the lights rushing past of other cars. His thoughts, unwillingly, drift back to the night that had changed his life: it had been like this then, too, the trip back to Blumenthal, Astrid glaring out the passenger window, Eodwulf's hands white-knuckled on the steering wheel, himself looking out a window at a landscape very similar to this one....

A hand lands on his shoulder and he twists back around, heart racing, half expecting to see one of his classmates looking back at him. But no, it's just Molly, his lips moving. Caleb takes a deep breath and forces himself back into the present. " _Bitte_? I did not hear you."

"I said we can probably find you a reading light in the next town we stop in and- are you alright? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Caleb is not all right. He can still feel his heart pounding, and it's taking a good deal of effort not to keep thinking back to what happens next in the narrative. He can almost hear the gravel crunch as they pull into Eodwulf's driveway...

There's a sudden stinging in his arm, and he looks down and sees that Molly has pinched him. 

"Are you sure that you're all right? Do I need to wake up Jester?"

" _Ja_ , I am- I am fine, Mr. Mollymauk." Desperate to change the subject, he accidentally blurts what he has noticed all day. "You are very good with these people. Where did you learn that?"

Molly chuckles slightly. "Caleb, I was in the circus. Do you know who joins the circus?"

"Performers?" Caleb guesses.

"Fucked-up people," Mollymauk answers. He glances up at where Yasha is driving, and Caleb realizes that she is looking at them in the mirror. "No offense, dear."

Yasha makes a non-committal sound. "It's true."

"A circus won't work if the performers are all at each others' throats," Molly said. "Part of functioning in a group like that is about having someone to diffuse the tension, and that's where I came in."

Caleb looks curiously at Molly. "What about you?" When the tiefling looks curiously at him, he says, "You said that everyone in the circus is, ah, fucked up. What happened to you?"

Molly laughs again, but it's a bit more forced. "I'm kind of an exception. I joined the circus because.... well, I suppose I had nothing left." Caleb, suspicious, looks hard at the tiefling's face. He can't read Molly as well as he can read Jester, but he still thinks that there's something that the tiefling is concealing. "Either way, I think I was the most functional of anyone there, believe it or not. No childhood trauma, nothing in the past that I had done that I was running from." 

Caleb smiles bitterly. "I suppose it's easier with this group, _nein_? Fewer fuckups?" Except for him, but Molly can't know that. 

"Caleb," Molly says, sounding almost tired, "When you meet enough people- swindle enough people, too- you learn that nobody is ever okay with what's happened in their past, and everyone thinks that they have it the worst." 

Caleb shrugs. "I suppose you may be right," he says, yawning. "I never bother talking to people for long enough to find out, though."

"Sensible," Molly agrees.

The panic is almost gone, now, so Caleb closes his eyes and tilts his head back, allowing the soothing white noise of wheels on highway to lull him to sleep. As he drifts off, he feels Molly putting his earbuds back in. He still does not trust Mollymauk, not one bit, but it is good to know that he has a sensible ulterior motive for his kindness. And, truth to be told, it is good to know that Molly will not press him for his past.

Things could certainly be worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strictly speaking this is not accurate camper van layout or anything but uhhhhhhh magic


	4. Never Have I Ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb gets pulled a little bit out of his comfort zone.

When Caleb rouses the next day, his neck is unbearably, painfully stiff, and he feels uncomfortably restrained. Opening his eyes, he sees he's still in the backseat, strapped in next to Molly. Turning, he sees that everyone else is also awake and on their phone, except for Yasha, who is snoring gently in the driver's seat, and Beau, who is staring idly up at the ceiling. They're pulled into a parking lot in what looks to be some scenic hiking spot or something. Automatically, Caleb can tell from the sun that it's about nine in the morning. He rolls his neck, stretches as best as he can, and looks around. Jester is playing Candy Crush, or some knockoff. Fjord is checking emails. Molly is flicking through... is that Tinder? It looks like Tinder. He can't see what Nott is doing- she's curled up, protecting her phone with her hands and body. 

He turns to Molly, keeping his voice as quiet as possible. "Er- why are we here? I thought the whole point of a van like this is so that you don't fall asleep sitting up in your nice clothes?"

Molly shrugs, shutting off his phone. "Eh, Yasha and I spotted this forest when we drove by, and all you lot were asleep, so we figured we wouldn't wake everyone up and just settled in for the night."

"Ah." Caleb rolls his neck again, wincing and putting a hand on the back of his neck. He has definitely slept in more uncomfortable places before, but sleeping sitting up has really messed with his neck muscles.

"Stiff?" Molly asks, amused. "Interested in a massage?" He winks.

Caleb rolls his eyes. "Not today, I am afraid."

"I am!" Jester pipes up. "But not the creepy kind, ok? Just I fell asleep like this, and now my neck is all cramped up and it really hurts, but I don't want to waste a spell slot or anything." 

"Of course, sweetheart," Molly coos, and after a bit of negotiation, Jester sits on the floor between the two seats so that Molly can reach her. Caleb realizes that everyone else has unbuckled their seatbelt, and follows suit, twisting as much as possible in the confined space in an attempt to crack his spine, which feels like it has been permanently compressed into a U shape. He rubs the sleep from his eyes. 

"Will you excuse me for a moment, Jester? I need to go to the restroom." Jester obligingly scoots a few inches so Caleb can duck out. 

"It's in that building over there just past that little tree, Caleb," Fjord says quietly as he passes. Nodding his thanks, Caleb locates and uses the restrooms in the park facilities. They seem relatively clean, too, so he takes the risk of splashing some water on his face. It helps, a little bit, and the fresh air does too. By the time he climbs back in, he feels much more awake and human. As he climbs back in, Yasha stirs, and after a few minutes, Molly finishes kneading Jester's shoulders. 

"Thank you Molly!" Jester says, drawing out all the vowels. "I feel so much better. You guys should really let him fix your necks and everything, it's super great."

"You owe me breakfast," Molly says cheerfully, settling back into his seat. "And not those shitty hash browns, either. Good breakfast. I'm partial to fruit."

"I can help too," Yasha says calmly. "If anyone needs to unstiffen their backs or whatever."

"Oh. Me!" Beau says, and immediately shoves past Molly. "My back is super sore, Yasha."

Her ulterior motive is obvious, given her disinterest in Molly's services, and Yasha turns a faint shade of pink. She awkwardly reaches out and grabs Beau's forearm, and for a moment her hands glow. She drops her hand again.

"Oh. Was, uh, was that it?" Beau asks, disappointment obvious in her tone. "I just mean, you know. It's a lot faster. But yeah my back feels better, so thanks Yasha!" She gives Yasha a gentle punch on the shoulder and climbs back over to the back.

"Smooth," Molly whispers, just loud enough for the three of them to hear. Beau sits down with a sigh and punches him less gently on the shoulder.

"Uncalled for," Molly complains quietly, before saying in a normal voice, "Right, if we're all reasonably awake, why don't I take the wheel for a while? I'm pretty awake, and a change of seating would do us all good. I say Caleb gets shotgun, he's been cooped back here the whole time-"

"That's so unfair. I've been here too-" Beau begins, before Mollymauk cuts her off with a meaningful glare.

"Beau and Yasha can sit in the individual seats..."

Beau shut up.

"And the rest of you, quite honestly, can fight to see who has to sit in the middle."

"I'll do it," Fjord says calmly. "I've been sitting up here the whole time. 'Sides, more room to stretch my legs."

"Well, there you go then," Molly says comfortably.

Caleb would have protested being given the front seat, but it would be nice to stretch his legs and move his seat. Besides, sitting crammed next to Fjord would be acceptable for Nott, and probably enjoyed by Jester, but although Caleb was small for a human man, he suspected he would be squashed. After a brief shuffling around of seats, a few people going to the bathroom before getting back on the road, he found himself sitting up front, blinking a little in the sudden amount of light.

Molly hands him his opened phone, starting up the van. "Caleb, dear, can you select a playlist? Doesn't matter much which, I just want some actual music in the background." He glares at Jester, who beamed back at him from the back seat, and then backs the van out carefully. 

Caleb scrolls through Molly's playlists: Certified Bangers; Dad music but like. a cool dad; Trashy pop; Breakup music; Music to fuck to (Caleb scrolls past that one quickly. Heavens know he doesn't even want to know what Molly thinks is good sex music); Gay Anthems (tm). None of them seem very appealing , but Caleb decides on the dad music playlist. He puts it on shuffle, and closes out of Molly's phone as "Mr. Blue Sky" begins to play. It's good driving music, especially in the morning. Jester sings along obnoxiously, and Molly is humming it under his breath. Caleb turns around. "Jester, can you please pass me my book!" 

She pauses, considering, and then shakes her head. "That's so boring Caleb! We're on a road trip! We're all supposed to bond with each other and it's really hard to do that if you're just going to go read porn all day!" 

Caleb takes a deep breath, closing his eyes. "What would you suggest, then?" he asks, enunciating carefully.

"I don't know. Oh! We could play never have I ever!"

"Ooh, yeah, I know that one," Beau says from the back. "We played it all the time, but it was a drinking game, wasn't it? I don't think we have enough booze for that."

"I do!" Nott said, waving her flask. 

Jester scowls. "We can't do it as a drinking game, or we'll leave poor Molly out! Besides, we need to have someone ready to replace him soon!"

"Doesn't stop me! I can't drive," says Nott, taking a swig to punctuate her sentence. 

Fjord gapes at her. "Nott, it isn't even the afternoon yet." 

Nott looks blankly back at him. "What does that have to do with anything?"

Fjord looks like he's about to remonstrate her, but seems to think better of it. "Yeah, why the hell not, actually?" he asks. "I mean. We're all neighbors, we oughtta know more about each other."

Jester claps her hands in glee. "Ok ok! I'll start! Never have I ever..." Her face contorts as she attempts to think of a good one. "Never have I ever met my father!" She crows as nearly everyone claps. Not Molly, though, although maybe he just isn't playing.

"Jester, that's so lame," Beau says. "The whole point is you need to embarrass people, right? Never have I ever sucked dick." 

Molly does clap for that one, so apparently he is playing. Interesting. He is also the only one. "Really?" he asks. "Honestly, you are all such prudes."

"Caleb, it's your turn!" Jester says when, apparently, he is not answering quickly enough. He makes a face. "Must I?"

There are a chorus of yeses. Struggling for a safe one, he says, "Er, never have I... painted my nails?"

Everyone else claps. 

"Really?" Caleb demands. "Even you, Nott?"

"Sorry, Caleb! It's just.... well, I've been at Jester's apartment more. It's hard to avoid."

"That it is," says a distinctly uncomfortable Fjord.

"I honestly don't understand why," Molly says, looking genuinely startled. "You've never wanted to try it, even?"

"I don't like standing out, and I don't like looking pretty," Caleb replies. "It's not some 'oho, I am a masculine man' thing, I just am not a fan."

"I think we should take him out for a manicure," Jester says brightly. "At the next town we come to. I mean we need to do some shopping anyway because we should make some of our own food since there's a kitchen in here anyway, and I think he needs to at least TRY it because how do you know that you don't like it if you haven't tried? Hmmmm?" 

"That is absolutely not happening. Molly?"

"Oh, is it my turn? Hmmmm. Never have I ever had a childhood sweetheart."

Caleb and Beau are the only ones who clap. Everyone stares at them.

"Now, I can understand Beau," Fjord begins. "But Caleb?"

"That is insulting," Caleb says. "I had a very happy childhood. Yasha?"

"Never have I ever been in a real relationship." 

Nott, and Fjord clap.

"Damn," Beau says, leaning towards her. "Why? Because you don't want someone or...."

"I wasn't ready for it," Yasha says, face as implacable as ever.

"My turn!" Nott says. "Okay, never have I ever found anyone sexually attractive!" 

They all clap. It's a little depressing, Caleb thinks, although he doesn't know that Nott views it that way.

"Oh, Nott, that's so SAD!" Jester says. Caleb thinks she may be close to tears.

"I mean, maybe," Nott says. "Probably all for the better, though, because I'm a little goblin, and if I liked someone that way I don't think they'd really reciprocate." She bares her terrifying teeth, and Caleb has to agree, perhaps this is a small mercy.

"I suppose that means it's my turn, huh?" Fjord asks. "Hmm. Never have I ever......." he trails off.

"Better think quick, because we'll be in town in about three minutes," Molly warns him.

"Ah, shit, Molly, now I can't think of one. Uh, never have I ever....had a one night stand."

Predictably, Molly claps. Beau claps too, which is a little surprising.

They decide to end the game there, everyone having had one turn. They stop at a nice little breakfast place, where Jester treats everyone to waffles, and, at Molly's request, a fruit platter. 

"So what now?" Nott asks as they're waiting for their waitress to bring back their change. "Shopping?"

"I think we should split into three groups," Molly said definitively. "Fjord and Nott can go and get some of the miscellaneous stuff that we all forgot- Nott. Please put the salt shaker back. Thank you. If you have any requests, direct it to one of them. Actually, you know what? Direct it to Fjord. We can pay them back later. Beau and Yasha can go get groceries. Jester, you said you made a list, correct?" She hands it to them. "All right, and then group three."

Caleb has a sinking feeling in his stomach. "I thought that you were joking," he says feebly.

"Come on Caleb, you never do anything fun for yourself and Molly and I are going to treat you! It's very nice of us and you should be really happy because it's so fun." 

Molly seems to take pity on him. "What about a pedicure, instead," he suggests. "That way you can hide it and be boring like you always are, but at least you can see if you like it."

Caleb knows he will not like it, but this seems like a more acceptable option, and he has been in enough arguments with Jester to know that he will not win this one.

" _Ja_ , I suppose," he says. "How much will this run me?" He has spent a lot of his money on books, lately, and more on ink and paper, and he is not hopeful that he will be able to cover it.

"Don't be silly, it's a gift," Molly says. "If not a public service to everyone else in the van. At least your feet and legs will be clean, if nothing else."

* * *

Walking into the nail salon is everything that Caleb feared it would be. He's confronted by the smell of something chemical, which Jester assures him is nail polish. Molly walks to the front desk, flirts with the woman working there, and then orders "whatever is most expensive" for all three of them. It costs a handful of silver, but they are ushered in, and directed to sit in gigantic plush chairs with attached basins.

"They're massage chairs, Caleb," Jester says, and without asking, switches his on. He doesn't really enjoy the sensation- perhaps he is too tall, or too short, or too bony for whoever the chair is meant for, but ultimately it just gives him the sensation of something poking him in the back.

Molly having ordered nearly every treatment on the menu, it takes a while to finish. Caleb does not appreciate having his cuticles removed, or having his feet scrubbed with something that looks suspiciously like a cheese grater. He has to admit, though, that he does enjoy the sensation of soaking his feet in hot water, and he does enjoy the foot and leg massage they give him, and sitting with hot towels. The nail polish is unobjectionable. He let Jester choose the color, and she immediately gave him a sparkly silver-blue bottle. It's a bit strange to see something so colorful on his feet, but it's not really something he's cared about.

"So, what did you think?" Jester asks excitedly once they've left, and Caleb relays his thoughts.

"He enjoys soaking his feet!" Molly said in a stage whisper to Jester. "Keep this up, and we might get him properly clean in another two weeks!"

Caleb rolls his eyes but does not respond. Whether it was done to annoy him or not, Molly had admittedly paid a lot of money for him to have this experience, and it seems rude to not allow him to have a bit of fun at his own expense. 

They meet back up in the town square, where Beau and Yasha are standing in what appears to be a comfortable silence. Nott and Fjord appear a moment later.

"Nott tried to steal a box of rhinestones," Fjord says, looking very tired.

"I think you'll find," Nott says, rummaging in her pocket before pulling out a glittering handful, "that I, in fact, _succeeded_ in stealing a box of rhinestones!"

Fjord buries his face in his hands. "Next time, take me along," he grumbles to Molly. "I could use the relaxation." 

Molly only chuckles and pulls an arm around his waist.

They spend less time in silence in the car this time. At Molly's request, Caleb puts on the "trashy pop", and Beau, Jester, and Molly spend most of the ride either making fun of the songs or singing along in exaggerated voices. Caleb, a little bit alarmed at Molly's driving (When he points out that they are going 80 mph in a 55 mph zone, Molly only shrugs and says "Rules are meant to be broken," and speeds up an extra 5 mph. Caleb decides to keep his mouth shut.) finally allows Jester to read The Courting of the Crick, and regrets that decision immensely when she follows through on Molly's idea and reads the sex scenes aloud in a faux-sultry voice that must be an imitation of her mother. Caleb decides that he will never again be able to look her in her face, and is grateful when the teasing descends on Fjord's blush instead of his own. He rests his own burning cheek against the cool glass of the window, hoping it will hide his blush, and catches Molly looking sidelong at him, a wickedly amused smirk on his face.

_Arschloch._

But the rest of the day goes by relatively uneventfully, and this time, when they stop by an empty campground, they are able to convert the interior to a sleeping space, and instead of falling asleep to the hum of wheels on a highway, he drifts off to the familiar sound of crickets and wind through the nearby woods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for leaving comments and kudos! I really enjoy writing this and it makes me happy that other people seem to enjoy it too ^u^


	5. Battles and Baths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb has a very interesting day.

Caleb wakes in a sweat, ears ringing slightly, and for a second he thinks the night air is tinged with the faint scent of smoke. But no, it's just a leftover from his dream. He takes several shuddering breaths, and then peels the light blanket off of him. He needs a walk, he needs fresh air, he needs to get away from these people. He chose the bed closest to the door- it's habit, now, to place himself near exits, so he can cut and run. He takes the key with him, and then steps out into the meadow, his feet immediately drenched in dew. But that is ok; it's cold, and wet, and it grounds him to this place. He looks up at the moon: It's nearly full, and he can tell by the angle that it's about three in the morning. He automatically begins to pace back and forth, and is just idly wondering whether it's even worth it to go back to sleep when he hears something.

It's not much- just a soft, almost musical sound, and a quiet hiss. He stands there for a second, wondering if it's worth waking the others, when he hears it again, and this time there's a rush of blinding pain as an arrow slams into his shoulder.

Caleb falls to his knees, crying out. Inside the van, he sees lights turn on. He grits his teeth, forcing himself to remain conscious, and casts message to Nott.

"Nott, we are under attack. There are archers. I've been hurt. Please be careful." 

Nott doesn't bother replying, but even at this distance, Caleb can hear the hubbub intensify. There's another note- a bowstring twanging, Caleb realizes- and he falls low to the ground as an arrow narrowly misses his head. He curses his human eyes, and is forced to cast Dancing Lights. It's a struggle to concentrate, what with the pain, and he knows he is going into shock, but he catches a glimpse of them- one human archer, and three hulking figures creeping closer. No doubt to finish him off, Caleb thinks grimly, while the archer keeps him pinned down.

With no need for stealth, now that they've been spotted, the large figures charge. 

" _Scheisse_ ," Caleb whispers, dropping dancing lights, and desperately rooting through his components pouch, finds molasses and casts Slow. It will buy him time, if nothing else.

Under the moonlight, Caleb sees one of them nearing him, slow but determined. He suddenly halts, dropping to a knee, a crossbow bolt in his calf. Two more follow: one in his chest, and one in his eye. Caleb turns his head at that, but hears the creature- a Goliath, it looks like- drop to the ground. Then his friends rush around him, forming a ring around him. He relaxes slightly, and struggles to stay functional for a second, but the world goes oddly flat in the way it does when he goes into shock. He is distantly aware that Fjord has summoned his falchion, that Jester is directing her giant spiritual lollipop to whack the archer, that Molly kills one Goliath with a few strikes with a blade crackling with ice, and that it is Yasha who kills the last attacker. For a second he swears he can see wings coming from her back, but when he blinks, they are gone. Beau has disappeared, presumably to dispose of the archer, and he feels a small hand touch his head.

"Caleb!" Nott says, and he can hear the panic in her tone. "Are you dying? Jester, come help Caleb!" It's touching, but he knows he does not deserve this.

"Nott, I am fine," he says, trying to sound calm. There's some movement as Jester leans down. There's a flash of agony as she carefully removes the bolt, but it is calmed almost immediately as energy surges into his body, and he can feel his skin and muscle knitting back together. He's finally able to relax, slightly, and he allows his head to fall back onto the ground. Jester casts another healing spell, this one sending a weaker pulse of energy into his body, and the pain almost disappears. There's a slight stinging, but nothing that isn't manageable. He's conscious of a whispered discussion, and then Jester picks him up, and he is carried back into the van, and laid down on his bed, and he almost immediately passes out.

* * *

When he wakes up, it is midmorning. Jester, Beau, and Molly are all playing some card game with Molly's cards, Yasha appears to be resting, Fjord is on his phone. Looking to his other side, he sees Nott, magnified by her closeness, is sitting directly next to his head. He sits up, wincing slightly as he uses his bad arm.

"Caleb! You're alive!" 

Caleb reaches out and awkwardly pats Nott on the back. "I do not believe I was in any serious danger, my friend."

"Caleb," Fjord says, "Going out by yourself was extremely stupid."

Caleb sighs and rubs a hand over his face, scratching at his chin. "I do not need a lecture right now, Fjord."

"You could have gotten yourself killed," Fjord says, and he is angry. Caleb has only seen him this angry a few times, and it's... unsettling. "You could have gotten all of us killed."

"I needed to take a whiz," Caleb said, annoyed despite himself. "Next time, would you like me to wake you up and ask for permission?"

Fjord closes his eyes, regaining his composure. "Look, Caleb, you know what I mean. We're a team, remember? Next time, wake someone up so they know where you've gone. What if next time, you can't cast Message, huh? What if next time, they find the key and kill us all in our sleep?"

He has a point, and Caleb is too tired, and his head hurts too much to argue.

" _Ja_ , I will wake someone next time," he says quietly, and before Fjord can be sanctimonious anymore, he lies back down and turns to face the other direction. He's putting more weight on his bad shoulder than he wants to, but it gets the message across. Fjord sighs. "All right. We're going to head out soon." 

It's an uncomfortable atmosphere in the van for the next fifteen minutes. Nobody likes witnessing arguments, and everybody seems a bit on edge. Caleb, once he's sure nobody is looking, peels back the blood-stained wreck of his shirt and examines what's left of the wound. There's still a shallow cut left, and a truly magnificent bruise to match, but he suspects that he will heal the rest of the way within a week. He could ask Jester for help, he knows, but it's probably better to save her spell slots for when they actually need them.

"Need any help?" Molly asks from behind him. "I can get you a clean shirt, if you want help getting into it." He's back in damage-control mode, Caleb can tell.

" _Danke_ , but I can dress myself," he says stiffly, and goes to find a new shirt. He'll keep the ruined one; Jester can cast Mending on it, and once they get to an actual laundromat, he can remove the blood. After digging through his battered backpack to find fresh clothes, he slips behind the van and quickly changes into the underwear and pants. He hits a problem, though: he cannot actually move his arm higher than his shoulder-it's too stiff. He battles with this for a while, before giving up and returning, shirtless, to the van, to dig through his backpack for his one button-down shirt.

"Sure you don't need any help?" Molly asks, looking smug.

" _Ja_ , I am fine," Caleb snaps, pulling the shirt over his injured shoulder and focusing on the buttons. When he looks up, Molly is holding out a bottle of water and two pills. "Here."

"What are these?"

"Painkillers." When Caleb opens his mouth to refuse, Molly, exasperated, says, "For heaven's sake, it's not a marriage proposal, it's just some Advil. I don't want to hear you complaining the whole way, and there's only so much wincing I can put up with before I get annoyed." He seems to be genuine, for once, so Caleb takes the pills from him and, after briefly studying them to make sure they are what Molly says they are, takes them, downing half the water bottle in the process.

"There. Was that so hard?" Molly asks, stalking away. It's hard to tell, what with the solid-colored eyes, but Caleb thinks he may have been rolling them. He knows he should thank Molly, who has been nothing but kind to him, but it stings. Besides, he knows that Molly is only doing it for the sake of group cohesion, and Caleb- He certainly likes all these people, and he works well with them, but he wouldn't consider himself part of their group. If things get bad, he and Nott are cutting and running.

* * *

They put the seats back up and get back on the road. Caleb sits in the back again, Nott by his side. The goblin had obviously been worried all night. Yasha drove, Molly in the passenger seat. He could hear them quietly speaking, but not about what. His curiosity overcoming him, he summons Frumpkin behind Yasha's seat and listens intently through his familiar's ears.

"-not a bad person. I mean, sure, she's grumpy, but you could do a whole lot worse." That's Molly.

"I don't know, though. I mean, she's definitely very... very cool? But I don't want to rush into something just because she's flirting with me. I mean, she flirts with every pretty girl she sees along the way."

Molly sighs. "Yasha, darling, you really are a useless lesbian." There's a sudden, deafening noise that startles him so much that he automatically switches back to his own senses. Blinking, he realizes the sound was Fjord sneezing.

Oh.

"Damn it, Caleb, did you summon that familiar of yours? You know I'm allergic," Fjord says, eyes watering.

Caleb snaps, and Frumpkin disappears. " _Ja_ , sorry, just he hasn't been out of the Feywild in a while and I wanted to make sure that, that ah, he was ok," he finishes lamely. It's a bad excuse, and he sees Molly looking knowingly at him.

They stop at a drive through for shitty breakfast sandwiches. They all chip in this time, even Caleb. He is annoyed when Jester passes back two sandwiches.

"What is all this for?"

"Well, you just got healed, and you're really hungry after you get healed for some reason, which is weird because it's kind of me doing the healing for you, so really I should get the extra sandwich," Jester says, reflective. It's true. Caleb is ravenous. He practically inhales the first one, and finishes the second only a few minutes after everyone else is done with theirs. 

"So what should we do today?" Jester asks once they've set out again. "I think we should go and stay in like, an actual hotel, with showers and everything, because a lot of you guys stink really bad." This last part is obviously directed towards Caleb, which is fair.

"Showers don't sound bad," Fjord agrees. "Neither does sleeping in a real bed. Cali gave us some disposable income for the trip, so we might as well."

"You're saying you've got gold to spare and we've been paying for our own food?" Beau asks from the back. "What the hell, man?"

"To be honest, I forgot about it," Fjord says. "Either way, does a hotel sound good to everyone?" It does, to everyone, including Caleb. 

So they press on, having a day of quiet time to themselves. Molly and Yasha switch places at lunchtime, where they order burgers. Jester gets a bag of mini doughnuts, and shares them with everyone. At around seven, they pull into a very quiet small town, eat dinner at a crappy diner, and shuffle into one of those chain hotels that Caleb always confuses with each other.

They are, according to the concierge, the only guests staying there at the moment, which, as Beau says, is probably just as well, considering how loud they are as a group. They get two rooms, each with two queen beds, meaning that they have to share. Beau looks hopefully at Yasha, only to have that hope dashed when everyone agrees that Yasha, as the biggest, should have a bed to herself. Beau is instead paired with Jester, and Nott and Caleb have shared hotel beds many times. Fjord looks a little annoyed at being paired with Molly. "You'd better not be a blanket hog," he grumbles. Once this is sorted out, Jester claps her hands.

"They have a hot tub here, you guys, and I think we should all go and have a soak because when else are we going to have a hot tub?" 

"Jester, I didn't bring a swimsuit," Fjord points out. He frowns, pouring himself a glass of water. "Did you bring a swimsuit? Why did you bring a swimsuit?"

"Don't be silly, Fjord, I'm saying we can go skinny dipping."

Fjord chokes, water dribbling over his chin. Jester pounds on his back as he coughs.

"Excellent idea," Molly says, rubbing his hands together. "Nothing like casual nudity to bring a group of friends together, I always say."

"You know what?" Beau says. "That actually doesn't sound so bad." Caleb, seeing her eyes flicker to Yasha, suspects her motive.

"Absolutely not," Nott says. "I say we all stay in here and do something that is not that."

"Nooooott..." Jester says in a sing-song voice, "Do you not know how to swim?"

"I'm a _goblin_!" Nott says, voice going up half an octave. "We aren't _meant_ to swim!"

"You can come along and we'll teach you!" Jester says. "Come on, everybody, up up up! We're going to go skinny dip in the hot tub! And maybe the pool but they keep the rooms super cold in here and that doesn't sound as good."

Somehow, she and Molly manage to get everyone going, even a reluctant Fjord, an even more reluctant Caleb, and a terrified Nott. When they get to the room with the pool and hot tub, Caleb takes out his silver thread and strings it along the door.

"Just in case," he says defensively to a skeptical Jester. "What if some other family stops here on the way? We do not want to get kicked out of the hotel before we even have the chance to shower and sleep."

Once they're there, standing by the edge of the hot tub, everyone seems to find it a bit awkward. Molly is the first to strip, looking completely unashamed. Caleb looks away as he drops his pants, kicks it a reasonable distance away, and puts his feet into the water. 

"Oh, the water is just right," he says, and slides all the way in. Jester starts to pull her dress off, and Beau shrugs. "What the hell," she says, and starts to undress as well. The others follow suit. Yasha doesn't seem to think much of nudity in front of others, perhaps because she's spent too much time rooming with Molly. It takes a fair amount of teasing from Jester to needle Fjord into joining them. Nott refuses to strip or get into the hot tub, but does concede to sit on the edge of the hot tub and dip her feet. Caleb, not wanting to endure Jester's torments, undresses awkwardly and slips into the water as fast as possible. It's almost too hot for him to bear, but as he adjusts, he finds it actually eases the stiffness in his body.

It's silent, for a while, everyone just enjoying soaking. A little bit into it, Jester looking at Beau and Yasha, sings quietly under her breath, "Two bros, sitting in a hot tub, five feet apart cause they're not gay," and Molly and Fjord laugh uproariously. Beau flushes a deep red, and Yasha refuses to meet their eyes. Caleb doesn't understand the reference. 

"Who's up for a game of fuck, marry, kill?" Molly asks, and Jester immediately raises her hand. Beau's hand goes up after a second, and while nobody else raises theirs, it seems obvious that it's expected of them to play as well.

"Alright, Jester, how about... Fjord, Yasha, and Caleb?"

She thinks about it. "Fuck Fjord, but marry Yasha, because she's big and strong and would take care of me, and kill Caleb. Sorry Caleb," she hastens to say.

Caleb smiles a little, looking a little bit over her head. "No offense taken, Jester."

"Caleb, my man, you aren't looking at any of us and it's weird," Beau says.

"What? How is it weird? It would be weird if I were looking at any of you. We are all naked and it would be weird."

"No, it's people like you who make being naked weird," Molly agrees. "See, I'm looking at you right now and it isn't weird, because I'm not ashamed." 

Caleb instinctively crosses his legs.

"And now it's weird again. Beau, fuck marry kill, Yasha, Jester, and me."

Caleb, glancing at her face, is amused to see her internal conflict about whether she wants to fuck Yasha or marry Yasha. 

"I'd say... fuck Jester, marry Yasha, kill Molly." 

"Fair," Molly says. There's a moment of silence, and Caleb, thinking back to the conversation he had overheard, realizes that Beau had just said that she wanted Yasha in a more than sexual sense. He peeked at Yasha, who looked the same, other than a mild flush that could be attributed to the hot water. Oh well. Perhaps he was overthinking it.

"Molly," Jester says. "Fjord, Caleb, and Beau?"

"Kill Beau," Molly says immediately. Beau glares at him.

"Hey, fuck you too, Molly."

He grins at her before continuing, "And then.... hmmm." He theatrically looks at Caleb and Fjord, eyeing them up and down. From everyone's suppressed laughter, Caleb is sure that the blush on his face is just as deep as the one on Fjord's. "Fuck Fjord, marry Caleb."

"Why do I get the sense that I've just been insulted?" Caleb asks nobody in particular.

"Did I hurt your feelings? I can fuck you, too, if you'd like." 

Everyone laughs at this point, even Fjord. Caleb glares at him.

"Sorry, Caleb," Fjord says, wheezing slightly, "It's just.... the look on your face."

"Great," Caleb says. He might need to take a dip in the pool just to cool his burning face. "Are we done here?"

"Nope!" Jester says cheerfully. "It's your turn now. Molly, Yasha, and Beau."

"I am not going to answer that."

"Don't be a spoilsport, Caleb," Jester whines.

"No, no, it's ok," Molly says. "We already know that he wants to fuck _me_ , so we just need to figure out whether he'd rather marry Yasha or Beau."

"Kill Molly," Caleb says definitively. "I don't particularly care about the other two, but kill Molly."

They're laughing again, but not at him this time. It feels.... nice. He hasn't had this for a while.

"Ew," Beau says. "I don't know what would be worse, fucking Caleb or being married to the guy."

"Hey!" Molly says in mock outrage. "That's my husband you're talking about!"

"It is not," Caleb says. "Fuck Beau, and we can never see each other again, and marry Yasha."

"Fair enough," Beau says. "Yasha, fuck marry kill, me, Jester, and Fjord."

"Marry you," Yasha says. "Have sex with Jester, and... sorry, Fjord."

"I don't mind in the slightest," Fjord assures her. Beau is trying, and failing, to not look delighted.

"Alright, Fjord, how abouuuuuuut... me, Caleb, and Molly," Jester says, her tail swishing in excitement.

"Aw, Jester..." Fjord says, sounding tired.

"I'll have you know I am very good in bed," Molly says, winking. "If that influences your decision."

"Molly, we're sharing a bed tonight, don't make this weird. Fuck Molly, marry Jester, kill Caleb."

"What I am hearing from this," Caleb says, amused despite himself, "Is that all of you secretly harbor resentment towards me."

"But not me," Molly reminds him.

"But not Molly, because he dislikes Beau more than me."

"You aren't wrong," Molly says, and Beau, annoyed, splashes him.

It devolves into a splash fight, which Caleb stays out of, trying to avoid soaking his shoulder in hot, chlorinated water. They leave half an hour later, wrapping themselves in towels and carrying their clothes.

Caleb finds that, unexpectedly, despite the teasing and awkwardness, he enjoyed the hot tub, and the jokes, and even, to some extent, the game. 

They all take turns in the showers. Jester, Beau, and Yasha head to one of the rooms, and Molly, Fjord, Caleb, and Nott head to theirs. Despite Molly and Fjord's jokes that they'll have to force him into the shower at swordpoint, Caleb is actually happy to rinse the mud out of his hair and the chlorine from his skin. He uses the entire bottle of the shitty hotel shampoo on his hair, knowing that Molly, vain as ever, brought his own haircare products, and would share with the others. He wipes off the mirror, afterwards, and seeing himself clean in the mirror, doesn't feel the usual urge to immediately cover himself up, return to his usual grimy state. He looks at his reflection and shakes his head, smiling, before pulling on his one pair of sleep pants. The shirt is still wrecked, but he's still warm enough from the shower and the long soak that he doesn't feel the need to put on a different shirt. Besides, with his arm as stiff as it is, it would be logistically difficult.

By the time he gets out of the shower, Nott, who had been the first one to shower, is already asleep on the bed. Caleb slides under the covers, careful not to wake her, and quickly falls asleep to her soft breathing.

Not a bad day, considering how it started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my slightly more modern take on the bathhouse scene because honestly that was such a good part


	6. Zone of Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb learns more about Molly, and finds out he may have more friends than he bargained for.

Caleb wakes early from one of the best nights of sleep he's had for a while. He's surprised- and, truth to be told, a little amused- to see that Nott has, in her sleep, snuggled up to his chest. They've shared beds before, in hotels much like this one no less, but usually Nott has stayed to her side, and Caleb stays on his. Nott has never been- well. cuddly. But it is still nice, to have Nott curled up against him, breathing peacefully. He lets it last for a while, but eventually pulls away as gently as possible. She snuffles softly in her sleep, but doesn't wake. 

He looks over at the other bed and almost laughs out loud. Fjord is scooted all the way to the edge. Molly is pressed against his back, an arm thrown around his waist, spooning Fjord. Caleb, amused, reaches for his phone and snaps a pic, texting it to the group chat. 

**Grumpy Wizard:** I believe Mr. Mollymauk lied in our game yesterday. Clearly they are already married.  
**Tall, Dark, and Handsome:** Oh yeah he does that  
**Tall, Dark, and Handsome:** A lot of people in the circus liked that though  
**Tall, Dark, and Handsome:** He is very warm  
**Manic Tiefling Dream Girl:** OH MY GOSH that is so cuuuuuute  
**Asshole:** pfft  
**Asshole:** fjord's gonna be so pissed when he wakes up

Evidently the other room is awake. Caleb goes to the Keurig machine provided by the hotel and spends a good fifteen minutes attempting to figure out the controls. Finally, he manages to get it to spit out a cup of mediocre coffee, just as he hears someone rousing. Turning, he sees that Fjord is awake, still uncomfortably under Mollymauk's arm.

"Morning, Caleb," he says quietly.

" _Guten Morgen,_ Fjord. Comfortable?"

"This asshole gets real cuddly in his sleep, huh?" He shifts again, and this time Molly's eyes open. 

"Oh, good morning, sweetheart," he says, and kisses Fjord's forehead before rolling away.

"Okay, you know what? Next time I'll take my chances with Nott shanking me. You're dealing with this one, Caleb," Fjord says, sitting up.

"You said you didn't want me to be a blanket hog, and I kept you warm all night, didn't I?" Molly points out. He picks up his phone and sees the notifications, opening the group chat before smirking at Caleb. "You know, if I didn't know better, I would say you were jealous that I said I wanted to fuck Fjord."

"In your dreams, Mr. Mollymauk," Caleb says, taking a sip of his coffee. He won't let Molly get a rise out of him.

Nott stirs, and then sits bolt upright. "Caleb?" she asks, looking around quickly before seeing him and relaxing. "There you are! Are you feeling better?"

" _Ja,_ " Caleb says. And it's true; the bruising has gone down, and the cut is fully scabbed over.

They have a quick breakfast in the hotel; nothing fancy, the usual greasy sausage and rubbery eggs. But it's complimentary with the rooms, and nobody feels like turning down free food.

"All right, if we set out within the next few hours, we should make it here," Fjord says, putting a finger on a circled spot. "It's a scenic overlook, and I've heard it's real pretty. And we can spend the night there." 

"Acceptable," Molly says, "IF- and only if- we can get some drinks. I haven't gotten properly sauced in about three days, and it's taking a toll on my mental health."

Nott raises her hand.

"And I don't mean the cheap, shitty stuff in your flask, dearest," Molly says. Nott lowers her hand.

"I'm sure there's a liquor store somewhere nearby," Fjord says. They pack, and drive around only for about three minutes before they get there. Everyone separates in the store, a seedy-looking place that nevertheless has a surprising selection. Caleb agrees with Fjord to split a six-pack of beer, and they meet Beau (holding a bottle of whisky), Yasha and Jester (empty handed), and Nott (holding a bottle of peach schnapps). Molly is still clinking around, but they go up to the register, where a bored-looking Tabaxi is examining her claws. Her name badge designates her as "Cree".

They're halfway through checkout when Molly emerges, holding a bottle of vodka. Cree reaches out to scan it, passes over it with her scanner, and then looks up. There's an expression of shock on her face, and the bottle drops to the floor and smashes. 

"Lucien," she whispers, almost reverently. "You're alive?"

Molly tries to pass it off, laughing and blustering that she must have confused him with someone else. It's obvious to everyone, though, that he's very uncomfortable, and after a while he drops his voice and has a quiet conversation that Caleb manages to catch most of- something about him and a book and some mage lady, and him being dead, which makes all of them eye each other nervously. In the end, Molly says, "I cannot believe that we found each other again like this, old friend, but I have some business to attend to. Shall I get another bottle?" It's a clear segue into an exit, and the Tabaxi laughs and nods and rings up the last bottle. They switch numbers, although Caleb, with his perfect memory, can't help but notice that the number Molly gives is two digits different than his actual number. They walk out, and Molly's only response to every question is, "I'll tell you later. Let's drive." He seems scared, almost, anxious to get away, and for a moment, Caleb almost feels sorry for him, now that his past is catching up to him, seemingly. He climbs in the backseat next to Caleb, and Caleb feels him trembling. 

Once they're driving, Jester asks, again, "Molly, who was that and how did she know you? Is she an ex or something, or is this some weird high school reunion, or... " Molly laughs and shakes his head. It's not his usual charming, witty laugh, it's desperate. He opens the bag, finds his vodka, and drinks a fair amount, before closing his eyes.

"I'll tell you, but I don't think any of you will believe me." Yasha, from his other side, puts a protective arm around his shoulders, and Molly leans into it gratefully.

"Oh," Jester says. "I can fix that," and she closes her eyes and suddenly Caleb can feel some strange aura around her. He's felt this before, in his training: a Zone of Truth. He bites his own tongue; better not talk about his own past. "Okay, so now you can't lie, so we have to believe you!" She smiles at Molly, who grimaces back, paler than Caleb has ever seen him.

It's a good thing that Jester has cast Zone of Truth, too, because if she had not, Caleb doesn't know that he would have been able to believe Molly's tale. There's a familiarity to it that strikes him, though, the way Molly speaks of his past self: disdain, dislike, fear. It's the same way that Caleb feels, thinking about himself when he was young. The difference is that, for Molly, that other man is dead. Caleb's past self still haunts him today.

It's quiet, after he finishes speaking, and nobody quite know what to say. Nott attempts to reassure him, comfort him, be a good friend (and where did she learn how to do that? Caleb wonders. It's the same way she talks to him these days, now that she knows his history), and Molly lashes out at her. There's a few minutes of silence, broken by Jester speaking.

"Well okay, but now we're all in a van that's basically just a zone of truth so I mean, if anyone has any questions for anyone that they really want to know the answer to..."

"Do you find any members of the Mighty Nein attractive, Yasha?" Beau asks immediately, and Yasha wrinkles her forehead.

"I think a lot of us are good-looking," she says.

"Yasha, that's not a real answer," Beau moans, and just like that, the tension is broken. Jester asks, a question for the entire group, "Have any of you ever shit your pants?" 

"Presumably most of us, as children," Caleb says.

Jester sighs. "Caleb, that's another answer that's cheating!"

"The downside of Zone of Truth, darling," Molly says, sounding almost like his usual self. "I think we should use this opportunity to answer the real question everyone's been wondering. Mr. Caleb, do you want me to fuck you?"

" _Nein,_ " Caleb says immediately, fervently, and everyone in the car explodes in laughter. "Do not get me wrong, you are very attractive, but I do not think that we are compatible."

"Oooooooh, Caleb thinks Molly is attractive," Jester sings. 

"You know what? I'll take that," Molly says.

"What about you, Molly? Do you want to fuck Caleb?" Jester asks. 

Molly shrugs. "Not any more so than anyone else, and certainly less than Fjord." The interior of the van explodes, and Molly calmly says, "What? I've never been with a half-orc before. It's on my bucket list."

"That settles it," Fjord calls from the front, not taking his eyes off the road. "I am not sharing a bed with Molly again."

"What? Are you not into men?" Molly asks, sounding genuinely curious.

"I am not," Fjord says, and Molly sighs.

"Regrettably straight. Fjord, are you the only straight person in this van?"

"No!" Fjord protests. "There's Jester, too."

Jester laughs. "Nope! Sorry Fjord, I'm actually into men and women."

Fjord splutters for a second, before saying, "Caleb! It's me and Caleb."

"Sorry to disappoint," Caleb says, smiling a bit, "But I actually am also like Jester, I find men and women attractive."

"You're the token straight!" Molly hoots. 

It's an awkward time, but it helps diffuse some of the tension. In the places where Molly sits pressed against him, Caleb can practically feel the tension leave his body.

* * *

By the time they reach the overlook, the sun has been down for several hours. It's nearly 10:30, according to Caleb's phone. And really, it is pretty: they've climbed halfway into the mountains, and the overlook is a stunning view of the valley, the surrounding towns, and a river. Caleb drinks two beers and leaves the rest for Fjord or whoever wants them, and, tired of the fun before everyone else, crawls into the van and sleeps.

The nightmare is worse this time than it normally is; normally he wakes up just as flames start to lick up the walls, but this time, he sees the whole thing play out, hears the screams of his parents, runs towards the house, but only in that dream way that leaves you powerless and helpless. He's brought back to consciousness before more can happen- large hands gently shaking him.

"Caleb, are you all right?" Yasha whispers in the darkness. It's almost five in the morning. "You were... making noises, and... are you crying?" She seems unsure of what to do.

" _Ich bin_ \- I am fine, Yasha. I need some air." 

"Are you sure? It's raining quite hard." 

He nods and opens the door quietly. Yasha climbs out after him and he turns.

"What are you doing?"

"Going with you," she says.

"I do not require a chaperone."

"What if there are more attackers out here? Besides, I'm awake now, and I actually like watching storms."

Reluctantly, he nods, already half drenched. They make their way back to the overlook. Caleb sits on a bench, turning his face up into the rain, while Yasha leans on the railing, staring out over the valley. It's a stunning view, made even more stunning by the occasional bolt of lightning that crackles out from a cloud. It takes a while for Caleb to calm; he squeezes his hands into fists and feels the rain on his skin, trying to force himself back into the moment. _I'm not there anymore,_ he tells himself silently. _I am here, in the countryside, getting soaked by the rain._ It works, over time; he feels, almost from a distance, his breathing calm, and eventually returns to the present moment. Yasha seems to sense that he feels better, and walks over to sit next to him. Not touching, a few inches apart, but next to him.

"Bad dreams?" She asks.

" _Ja,_ " he says. She doesn't press any further, just nods.

"Can I ask you a question?" he says, after a few minutes of silence. 

"Depends."

"The others, they- they like you more than they like me." He shivers a little bit. "How do you make them like you?"

Yasha looks at him, her face carefully blank. "You think the others don't like you?"

" _Ja,_ I mean. I do believe that I am a useful member of the team," he says. "But you are like me, _ja?_ You don't.... get people, like Jester, or Molly, or Fjord do."

"Yes, I suppose," she says. "I think that you are a good man-"

"You are wrong," he says immediately. "You are very, very wrong."

Yasha looks at him, and he can see a trace of pity in her eyes.

"Either way. I think you spend a little too much time on your books, and a little too much time avoiding us."

"I do not avoid you," Caleb disagrees.

Yasha shrugs. "You are almost always the last one to agree to do something with us."

There's nothing he can say to that.

"But in the end, I like you," Yasha says. "And I believe that everyone else likes you, too. You just don't notice, or you think we are doing it just because you are useful."

"Aren't you?" He asks.

"Maybe a little bit," she concedes. "But you don't make it easy to like you. Every time someone tries to do something nice for you, you snap at them."

"I do not deserve nice things, Yasha."

"Maybe that's what you think," she says, ambiguous as ever.

They're silent again. Caleb starts to shiver in the rain.

"Are you cold?" she asks. He nods. "Do you want to go back in?" He shakes his head. She pauses, hesitant, and then holds out an arm, invitingly. He thinks about it for a moment, and then slides over on the bench. Yasha wraps the arm around him. He's still cold, but not unbearably so. It's almost a nice contrast to the burning heat in his dream.

They sit there in silence for a couple of hours. The rain eases, and then stops, and the sky turns from black to grey. They watch the sunrise together, coming over the side of one of the mountains. Molly comes out, a few minutes later, and if he's surprised to see them together, he doesn't show it. He just reaches out and gently kisses Yasha's cheek, before sitting on her other side, Yasha lifting her arm and putting it around his shoulders as well.

And when the others come out, that's how they find them: Molly and Yasha sitting together, with a drenched Caleb fallen asleep under her arm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Doing things in the order they happen in canon is for losers


	7. We Don't Talk About Fight Club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb spends a surprising amount of time asleep with Molly.

He wakes up about an hour later, carefully buckled in, something warm around his shoulders. Whatever it is, it smells nice: like spices and incense, or maybe perfume. He sits there for a while, eyes closed, enjoying the particular quiet and peace that only occurs when he is half-asleep. He feels better than he has for a while, actually, even though his clothes are still damp, and his head is resting at an odd angle. The van is moving, that much is sure, and soft classical music is playing, which probably means that Fjord is driving. 

Whatever- or, apparently, whoever- he was resting his head on shifts. Caleb grumbles softly.

"I know, I know," a soft voice- is that Molly?- says. "Go back to sleep, love." A hand gently ruffles his hair. If he were fully awake, he would have been furious, but... this is nice. He lets himself drift back to sleep, just for a while. 

When he wakes up again, it's been another half an hour. He forces himself to sit up, and his neck protests. Blearily, he rubs his eyes.

"Ah, look, Sleeping Beauty awakens," proclaims Molly from next to him. Caleb yawns. 

"If I were not sure you would make an innuendo out of it, I would tell you to, ah, go and suck a dick."

He fumbles around, looking for pockets before realizing he is still in his pajamas.

"Where is my phone?"

Yasha, on his other side, hands it to him without comment. He looks at the lock screen and swears quietly in Zemnian. The group chat has been.... very active.

 

 

**Manic Tiefling Dream Girl shared an image.**

**Manic Tiefling Dream** **Girl:** sleepywizard.jpg

**Small, but dangerous:** he looks very cold

**Pretty and Witty and GAY:** ooh, that gives me an idea

**Pretty and Witty and GAY shared an image.**

**Pretty and Witty and GAY:** who wore it better?

**Asshole:** It's a pretty tacky coat my guy

**Asshole:** I don't think either of you look good in it

**Pretty and Witty and GAY:** you don't think this is adorable?

**Manic Tiefling Dream Girl:** this is the cutest thing I have ever seen!

**Manic Tiefling Dream Girl:** everyone better shut up so we don't wake him up

**Pretty and Witty and GAY:** his head tipped onto my shoulder you guys

**Pretty and Witty and GAY:** take pictures now if you need blackmail material

 

The rest is more of the same. Caleb scrolls through about seventeen photos featuring him, draped in Molly's coat and fast asleep on Molly's shoulder, before he exits the app and closes his phone. The coat is still partially on him: he pulls it off, shivering at the sudden blast of air conditioners on his still-damp clothes.

"I believe this is yours?"

"Keep it for now. You look like you're freezing."

"I am fine, Mollymauk."

"You've got goosebumps," Yasha says from the other side. Caleb turns to glare at her.

"Why don't we stop somewhere and let Caleb change," Fjord says diplomatically from the front seat. It takes a few minutes, but they find a secluded place to pull over. Caleb had slept in his button-down shirt, unwilling to attempt to pull a new shirt over his head; now, though, he has no choice. He rapidly pulls on jeans, but wrestles with a T-shirt for ten minutes before Fjord calls, "Caleb? Everything all right over there?"

"<em>Ja,</em>" he says, embarrassed. "Just... having a bit of difficulty."

"What kind of difficulty? Is it an embarrassing one?" Molly calls. Caleb grits his teeth, trying to push his arm through the hole. "If so, can I watch?"

Caleb gives up. "Fjord, can you please come over here? I am decent." After a minute, Fjord walks to his side of the van.

"Oh. Your arm?" 

"<em>Ja,</em>" Caleb says, embarrassed to ask. "Could you... can you..." 

"Of course," Fjord says, and helps him into the shirt. They walk back around, and Jester pesters him with questions about what happened, all of which he ignores. He sits in the middle row this time, Nott in the other chair. They haven't been driving for long when Caleb's phone vibrates. He pulls it out. Beau is texting him from the front seat.

**Beau:** so uh. you and Yasha looked pretty chill out there

**Beau:** something happen between you?

**Caleb:** Nein. We were just having a friendly conversation.

**Beau:** did you.. you know.... tell her?

**Caleb:** Tell her what?

**Beau:** about, you know, your past and everything

**Caleb:** I am alive, am I not?

**Beau:**?????

**Caleb:** Does it seem like she has killed me?

**Beau:** no?????

**Caleb:** Then I believe you can infer the answer.

**Beau:** come on, man, nobody cares about what you did in the past

**Caleb:** lol

**Beau:**...I was going to have a serious conversation but I honestly can't get over how wrong that looks having you type it

**Caleb:** You and Molly and Jester use it all the time!

**Beau:** yeah but we're cool

**Caleb:** This conversation is over.

**Beau:** wait wait wait!

**Beau:** did she say anything about me? or like, what she likes, or if she likes anyone, or 

**Caleb:** Why can't you ask her yourself?

**Beau:** cmon dude thats not how it works

**Beau:**...look I like her ok

**Caleb:** omg

**Beau:** NO!!!!!! STOP DOING THAT!!!

**Caleb:** Look, Beauregarde, if you are looking for dating advice, I am the wrong person to ask.

**Caleb:** She said she likes storms.

**Caleb:** Honestly, just do whatever it is that you would want.

**Caleb:** Never mind, I've changed my mind.

**Caleb:** What about picking her some flowers? Everyone likes flowers, and besides, if she isn't interested, it could be a gift to a friend?

**Beau:** what if she's allergic?

**Beau:** caleb????

 

Caleb stops answering. Dating advice is beyond him. He hasn't had a sweetheart since Astrid, and she was never much for romantic gestures, anyway.

Jester is restless, in the front seat, shifting and fidgeting. If someone doesn't do something soon, she'll start some drama purely for the fun of it. Caleb remembers what Yasha had said earlier, and, almost without thinking, asks "Would anyone like to play a game?" 

It goes dead silent in the van.

Caleb looks around. All of the Mighty Nein are staring at him, except for Fjord, who is casting amazed glances at him in the rearview mirror.

"What?" He stammers. "It's just- Jester is bored, and- why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because normally you're really boring and you never want to play games ever," Jester said. "But yes, Caleb, I would love to play a game. What about would you rather?" 

"I have not ever played that before, but I think I can guess what it is." 

"I'll start, ok? Hey Beau. Beau. BEAU!"

Beau, startled, pulls out her earbuds. "Huh? What is- Are we doing something?"

"Would you rather fight ten duck-sized horses or one horse sized duck?"

"The duck sized horses," Beau says without even thinking. "I can kinda just... punt those fuckers. Have you ever fought a duck? They're vicious." 

"Okay, see? And now it's Beau's turn to ask."

"Oh, are we playing would you rather? Okay, Yasha, would you rather, uh, never get to drink again, or never get to see flowers again?"

Subtle. Very subtle.

"Er, never drink again, I suppose?" Yasha says uncertainly. "I like flowers." 

Caleb can't believe that actually worked.

Yasha thinks for a while. "Beau," she begins, but Jester interjects.

"You can't go back and forth like that!"

"Okay," Yasha says, looking caught off-guard, "Caleb, then, would you rather have many partners, but none that last, or one true love?"

It's a bit of an awkward question, but Caleb answers it anyway.

"Definitely one love. What is the point of having many flings if none of it lasts?"

"Ohhhhhh, that's why Caleb is single," Jester stage whispers. "He's waiting for his one true love... don't worry, Caleb, I'll find someone for you."

"Please don't. Nott, would you rather give up drinking, or give up shinies?"

It's an innocent question, meant to draw attention away from his own romantic preferences, and it works. Nott has an external debate for about 15 minutes about what is more important to her, eventually saying that she would rather have shinies. She sounds close to tears, and Caleb hastens to remind her that it is only a game.

"Oh," Nott says, wiping her eyes. "Right. You're so smart, Caleb."

"And it is your turn, my friend."

"Right," Nott says, before turning and shrieking, "FJORD!" The van swerves a little as Fjord jumps.

"Nott, don't DO that!"

"Sorry. Fjord, would you rather be here with us, or back at sea?"

"That's a tough question, Nott." He thinks about it for a while. "But do you know what? I think I actually enjoy being here with y'all."

"Awwwwww," Jester says, batting her lashes at him. "We love you too, Fjord." 

"Do I have to ask Molly a question?" Fjord asks warily. "Because he's the only one who hasn't answered one yet?"

Jester only giggles.

"Fuckin' great. Oh, this one's relevant, actually. Molly, next time we're at a hotel, would you rather share a bed with Nott or with Caleb."

"Caleb," Molly says immediately. "Less risk of getting injured. Besides, it turns out he's pretty cuddly when he sleeps, isn't that right, Caleb?"

Caleb regrets starting this game. "I do not mind sleeping with Mollymauk the next time we spend the night at a hotel," he says, tired. "As long as he keeps his hands to himself." 

"You drive a hard bargain, dear, but that's all right with me," Molly says. "I can't promise you won't wake up being gently spooned, but maybe finally someone will appreciate that."

* * *

They had planned to drive through the next town, but Jester, looking up from her book, spots a building and cries "Osk- Fjord, I mean, there's a bowling alley! Can we pleeeeeeease go? I haven't gone bowling in years!" 

They'd all like a chance to stretch their legs, and truth to be told, bowling sounds at least a little bit amusing. They all pile out, and after negotiations and a handful of silver, they have a lane of bowling. Nott refuses to play, which seems reasonable, given that the bowling ball is probably a quarter of her weight. Despite her desire to play, Jester is miserable at it; half of her balls go into the gutter. Molly trash-talks everyone, despite his mediocrity. Yasha is not bad, and Fjord is actually very good. Caleb is worse than Jester, but his balls keep inexplicably spinning away from the gutter and directly into the pins, so his score is pretty good. (Everyone pretends not to notice Nott casting mage hand in the background. He doesn't know whether its for her sake or his.) By far, though, Beau is the best competitor, winning handily every time. It's fun, though, especially when they realize that there's a bar in the bowling alley. The attendant eventually kicks them out fifteen minutes after closing. They're all very drunk, except for Jester, and very giggly, and everyone pretends not to notice that Yasha has helped Beau up after she trips over her own feet and hasn't taken her arm from around her shoulders. They're in no condition to drive far, and they come to an agreement to spend the night at another hotel. It's strange, Caleb thinks giddily, that suddenly, showers and beds feel like the epitome of luxury.

After they've checked in, they all huddle to discuss their sleeping plans. Yasha says, "Actually, why don't we give Jester the chance to sleep alone? I mean, since I had my turn last time," and Beau beams. 

"Fjord-" Molly begins.

"Uh-uh," Fjord interrupts. "Not a chance."

"What I was going to say," Molly says delicately, "Is that you have made it abundantly clear that you aren't interested, and I wanted to make it clear that I am not going to do anything fun with you. Not unless you change your mind." 

"Oh," Fjord says, caught off guard. "Why, thank you, Molly. I appreciate it." 

"Now," Molly says, "I believe Caleb and I agreed to share a bed, so you and Nott can work out your sleeping arrangement. Now, if you'll excuse me, I am going to the bar." And he walks away.

"That guy," Fjord says, "is so fucking weird."

" _Ja,_ " Caleb agrees. "I believe I will join him at the bar. Just one more beer, I think." The truth is that he doesn't want to be dragged into whatever argument Nott and Fjord are going to have over sleeping. He hears them squabbling as they, as a group, get on the elevator. He fixes the room number- 316- in his mind, so if he gets well and truly pissed he will remember it, and heads to the bar.

Molly is already there, with an obnoxiously colored mixed drink in his hand. Caleb sits down next to him and orders one of their beers on tap. Molly doesn't speak to him, too busy watching whatever obnoxious sitcom is on the bar TV, so Caleb just sits and drinks and lets his mind wander. He finishes his first, and a second, and is halfway through his third when he is brought back to reality.

He is brought back to earth by someone shouting.

Turning, he sees a human man, obviously already drunk, shouting at the bartender. Through the haze of drunkenness, he manages to tune in.

"-had known you served HIS kind, I would've stopped coming here long ago-"

"Caleb, I think this is our time to leave," Molly says lightly, quietly. He tosses a tip on the counter and tugs on Caleb's arm.

" _Nein,_ " Caleb says, pissed, and heading for the man.

"Caleb, don't bother, it's not  _worth it_ -" Molly hisses, and then gives up.

"Hey! You!" Caleb says, louder than he expected. " _Arschloch_!"

The man turns. "You got a problem?"

" _Ja,_ I do," Caleb says. Is the room swaying? "I want to know what right you have to-"

The man doesn't even let him finish before clocking him. 

Caleb is not good at taking a hit on a good day. His party members call him the "squishy" member of the party, which is fair. Today is not a good day, though; today he is very, very drunk. He goes down like a stone. Dimly, he's surprised that the man doesn't continue to hit him, before the bartender restrains him. This mystery is solved when Molly helps him up, and he sees blood trickling from his neck. He glances back at the man. There's a drop of blood welling from his eye.

"Come on, let's go before they call security," Molly urged, and that? That is a sentiment that Caleb can agree with, drunk or not.

They arrive in their rooms, slightly out of breath. Caleb isn't seriously hurt, but his nose is bleeding freely, and Molly, more sensible and more sober, directs him to the bathroom and sits him on the edge of the bathtub. 

"Stay there," he says. "I'm going to get some ice." He disappears, and Caleb is left alone for a few minutes, holding a wad of reddening toilet paper to his nose. He's overcome with a fit of the giggles. What had he been thinking? In a fist fight, he was worse than useless, and it hadn't even been necessary.

Deep down, in the sole functioning part of his brain, Caleb knows that he had no choice. He could pretend all he liked that he was separate from the group, could leave it at a moment's notice, but for the past month or so, he had thought of these people as his allies- no, not his allies, even that implied a relationship based on mutual utility. His friends. And what kind of person would he be if he wouldn't stand up for his friends? 

Before he could delve further into this horrifying realization, Molly returned, a full ice bucket in his hand. 

"All right," He says, crouching in front of Caleb. "Let me see."

Caleb drunkenly turns away, trying to swat his hand away. " _Nein, nein,_ I am fine,  _danke,_ Molly. I believe I am no longer bleeding, so if you will excuse me..." He attempts to get up, sways, and nearly falls into the tub before Molly catches them.

"Oh, for fuck's sake, sit down and let me take care of you," Molly says, exasperated. 

"I do not need your help, Molly, I can take care of myself."

"And I can take care of you better." When Caleb hesitates, Molly says, "If it makes you feel better, just remember that you got into this situation because of me. You don't owe me anything for this."

Caleb sighs. "All right, but let me sit on the toilet,  _ja?_ My balance, it is not so good right now."

"How about on the counter, instead? so that I don't have to lean down the whole time? Don't want to strain my back."

Caleb nods his acceptance, and Molly helps him to sit on the counter. 

"Now, let's see," he says, and gently peels the wad of toilet paper from Caleb's nose. "Well, it doesn't look broken, so no need to call Jester. Just be careful blowing it for the next few days." He chuckles softly. "That's what he said."

" _Was?"_

"Never mind." He wraps some ice in a washcloth. "Hold this to the bridge of your nose. Did he get your eye?"

" _Nein,_ he hit me in the middle of my face."

"Good. Now, let's get you cleaned up. You can shower in the morning."

Molly wets another washcloth and gently, very gently, begins to wipe the blood from Caleb's face. Caleb winces as Molly nears the sore spot on his face. "Sorry," Molly murmurs, and wipes that area quickly, feather light. His face is intent, and his hands are gentle, and Caleb relaxes slightly, the adrenaline fading. 

"Hold on," Molly murmurs, tilting Caleb's chin up with a cool hand. "Some's dripped onto your neck." Probably when Caleb was lying on the ground, stunned from the punch. Molly goes to wipe it, and Caleb twitches, giggling.

"Oh my gods," Molly says, pausing. "Are you ticklish?"

"A little bit," Caleb admits. "Just don't press too lightly, and I will be fine." Molly grins and resumes, pressing a little bit harder, and Caleb manages to keep still.

"There!" Molly declares, stepping back to admire his work. He goes to toss the bloody washcloth in the sink, but Caleb stops him with his free hand.

"Let me," he says, gesturing with it. Molly looks puzzled, but steps closer, handing him the washcloth. Caleb finds a clean place on the washcloth and gently wipes the trickle of blood from his neck. Molly nods in understanding.

They are silent as they get ready for bed, not wanting to disturb the others. Nott is asleep, not next to Fjord, but curled up at the foot of the bed, much to Caleb's amusement. Caleb crawls into bed, already half asleep. Molly crawls in after him.

"I should warn you," Molly whispers, "that I am very clingy in my sleep."

"I do not care," Caleb whispers back. "As long as you do not wake me, I think I will survive." 

He is asleep half a minute later, before he even hears Mollymauk's response.


	8. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb finally cracks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> u knew it was gonna happen... gotta get that shit over with before we get 2 the romance....

Caleb has the dream again. He sees, in vivid detail, the faces of his parents for the last time, before he props a cart against the door almost of his own will. He sees the fire coming from his own hand, through the window, igniting the curtains first. He would have seen more, too. (It's different every time, and rarely what actually happened. Sometimes his parents run out, screaming, their faces and hands melting like candle wax. Sometimes he doesn't see them at all. Sometimes he's in the house, suddenly, trapped, fire in all the exits.) He awakens instead, a pair of insistent hands shaking him.

"Caleb," Molly whispers gently. "You're having a nightmare. Wake up." Distantly, Caleb realizes that he's made good on his threats; Molly's body is pressed against Caleb's, his tail is wound around his leg. Molly is moving away, though, giving Caleb space, showing consideration that frankly, Caleb didn't know Molly possessed. "Are you okay?"

" _Nein,_ " Caleb says, shivering despite the heat. "I am a monster."

"Seems a tad overdramatic, wouldn't you say?" Molly asks, attempting to lighten the mood. When that fails, he whispers, "Come on. Let's take a walk." He reaches out, presses a hand to Caleb's forehead. "Get you some ice, you're burning up."

The concern and care sting. Every part of his body screams to him:  _you are a monster. you do not deserve this._

"Mollymauk," Caleb says through gritted teeth, "I do not deserve your care." 

"That's what friends are for."

"I do not want your care." 

He sees the flash of exasperation in Molly's face. "Please stop with the whole 'I am not worthy,' thing. Trust me, I've heard it before, and I'll probably hear it again." 

"You have no idea what you're talking about," Caleb hisses, his voice rising. 

Fjord stirs. "Are y'all having a fight? Could you keep it down? Some of us have to drive in the morning."

Caleb is wildly, irrationally angry- at himself, mostly, but also at Mollymauk. The residual drunkenness from a few hours ago isn't helping. "Stay out of this, Fjord."

"Caleb," Nott says, her voice anxious and soft, "Go back to sleep?"

 Caleb laughs wildly. "Nott, you are kinder to me than I deserve, but this has gone on for long enough." He turns to Molly. "Do you really want to know who I am?" He asks. Molly looks very uncomfortable. In the background, he sees the light of the phone- most likely texting the other room, asking them to help. 

"Caleb, why don't you sit down and calm down before you do something you'll regret-" Nott begins. Caleb whirls to face her.

"I already have done many things that I regret, Nott, and one of them is- is lying to these people. Pretending I'm a good person, a good friend, someone that they can rely on." There's the click of the door opening, and Beau enters, wearing only a sports bra and sweatpants.

"What is going on- Whoa. Caleb, did someone punch you in the face?"

Caleb laughs bitterly. "Come in, come in! The more the merrier, _nein?_ " Beau looks unnerved, but enters, followed by a sleepy-eyed Jester and a more awake-looking Yasha.

So he tells them all, wildly and impulsively. In a way, it feels almost good to tell them; Beau already knows, of course, and so does Nott, but the others have been being kind to him, sheltering him and paying for him and healing him, playing childhood games with him, by the gods. And all along, he has been keeping this secret: that he is unworthy, irredeemably so. He tells them about his time at the academy; he tells them of the slaughter of his friends' parents; half-sobbing, he confesses to the murder of his own, and then barrels on, telling them of the aftermath, the asylum, and of wearing the necklace. Finally, drained, done with all his secrets, he half collapses on the bed. He doesn't know what will happen now; whether they will attempt to kill him, or merely kick him out. He closes his eyes, waiting for the first blow to fall.

"Is that it?" asks Molly.

He snaps his eyes open at that. Jester looks upset, close to tears. Yasha's expression is as impenetrable as the others. Fjord is pensive, Nott looks terrified, Beau looks... well, mostly tired, but she's heard this before. Molly's face is unreadable.

"Is that  _it?"_  Caleb repeats, his voice full of venom. "I do not know, is that not _enough?"_

"You did some bad things in your past, you regret them, you move on."

Caleb shakes his hand, grinning savagely. "There  _is_ no moving on, Mollymauk, because I am not like you. I did not die and start anew, with a clean slate."

"Didn't you?"

"No," Caleb hisses, eyes burning. "That is the torture of it, Molly, I am  _still that man._ I have killed," and his voice breaks, " _gods alone_ know how many people. Not just my parents, I was an executioner, remember?"

"Does it matter?"

" _Ja,"_ Caleb says. He turns to face the whole group. "I could have- I would have killed all of you." He points to Beau. "You, for criticizing the empire." His finger sweeps over Yasha and Molly. "You, for worshipping false gods unrepentantly." He sweeps his hand over all of them. " _Götter,_ I would not even have questioned it if he had dragged you in front of me innocent as the day you were born, I would have killed you on his word alone." 

"Then do it," Molly says, languidly.

Caleb freezes. "What?"

"You heard me. You said it yourself, all of us were guilty. You're the same person as you were before, apparently. Go ahead! Kill me, prove me wrong."

"Mollymauk," Caleb says, shaking, "You do not-"

"What? What's the excuse now?" Molly scrabbles under the bed for a moment before finding one of his swords. "Here, I'll make it easy for you." He presses the hilt into Caleb's unwilling hand, points the tip directly at his heart. "And I'll tell you right now, if you're indecisive, I'm no huge fan of the empire, either. I am, by law, a traitor. You are, as you say, an executioner, so go ahead! Execute me!"

Caleb drops the sword. It clangs at his feet, mercifully not slicing him or Molly on the way down. 

"That's what I thought," Molly says, and stands up, looking Caleb squarely in the eyes. "Your past self is gone, Caleb, or you would have killed me before I even provoked you. Bury your old self and move on. It's the only way to stay sane." He stretches, looks around at the others. "Now, anyone disagree?"

"No," Yasha says immediately, sounding completely unconcerned.

Beau nods, walks over to him, gives him a friendly slap on the back. "I've said this from the start, dude." 

"Caleb," Jester says, crying in earnest now, "I'm so sorry, your poor mother and father, and you blame yourself, and, and," she hiccups slightly, "and it's not your fault and I'm going to find Ikathon and kill him and then resurrect him so I can kill him again, and-" She sobs, and Yasha places an arm around her.

"Yeah, Jester, not helpful," Fjord says. "Caleb, I admire you for telling us this. Takes an awful lot of courage, and I want you to know that none of us are gonna look at you any different, now that you-"

Caleb shatters. 

He falls to his knees on the floor, and this time, he does cut his legs on the discarded sword, a little bit. It doesn't matter. He's crying openly now, in a way that he's never been able to since he was a child, in a way that he's never been able to- for his parents, for his victims, for Astrid and Eodwulf, and, a little bit, for himself, for the himself that there was before Ikathon and the himself that he is now. But it's not just sadness- he's crying in relief, too, relief that his friends forgive him, that they don't hate him, that they will not abandon him. And in a way, he almost believes Molly- almost believes that he can move on, compartmentalize what happened, forgive himself a little. Almost.

"All right everyone, show's over, back to bed," He hears Molly saying, and Molly bends over and gently moves the sword away, wincing sympathetically as he sees the damage done to Caleb's shins. 

"Caleb," he hears Nott saying, and he reaches for her. She's crying, too, out of sympathy, or relief, or sadness, he can't tell. She hugs him, almost his height as he's curled up, and runs her fingers through his hair, and murmurs unintelligibly in his ear. When he focuses on it, he hears that she's just repeating, "Caleb, it's all right. It's all right now, it's all right." He cries harder at that, burying his face in her shoulder, and she rocks him as best as she can.

This doesn't last. Molly is speaking to Nott, and she nods and whispers, "Caleb, you should get some more rest. Can you sleep with Molly, or do you want me to stay with you?" Caleb doesn't care. True, Nott is his first friend, the first person he could count on, the one he knew was always, always on his side, but Molly is a friend too, and a damn trusting one, handing Caleb a weapon like that. He whispers, "Don't care," into her ear- he's not sure if he's slipped into Zemnian or not, but the message seems to get across anyway, because strong hands help him back into bed. There's a moment where, absurdly, he is very upset that he is getting blood on the sheets, and he struggles to avoid touching them, resisting being dragged on. But he realizes how stupid that is- it was only a scratch, already it has stopped bleeding, and anyway, they could use Prestidigitation to clean them if need be. He collapses back onto the pillow- has it really only been half an hour since he last woke up? It feels like much more- and curls up, covering his face with his hands. The lights go off, and, hesitantly, he feels Molly wrap one arm around him. When he does not protest, Molly pulls him closer, slipping his other arm around Caleb as well. It's not like being held by Nott- Molly doesn't seem to know what to do with the weeping human in his arms, and mostly just holds him close. But it's still comforting, feeling, if not wanted, then, well, tolerated, and eventually, Caleb cries himself back to sleep. 

* * *

Waking up, Caleb feels miserable, more miserable than he's been for the past year. His arm aches, his shins ache, he's got a miserable hangover, and to top it all off, he's just exposed his biggest secret to a group of people he has known for less than half a year.

But he's awakening in Molly's arms, still, and nobody has tried to kill him. A miracle.

He opens his eyes and immediately regrets it. The light coming in from the open blinds feels like it's stabbing directly into his skull. He groans and closes his eyes again. Molly's arms tighten around him, and he hears the familiar whisper. "Awake yet, darling?" 

"I feel as though I have been hit by a car," Caleb whispers back. "Multiple times. Probably causing traumatic brain injuries,"

"You really are a lightweight, huh?"

"That, and the, ah, other events of last night." 

"I would have thought you would be relieved," Molly murmurs. "I was, when I told you all my past, and I don't think mine weighed on me as much as yours did."

Caleb laughs shakily. "I am, to an extent," he admits. "It felt like another con, acting like your friend when I am... who I am." 

"Caleb," Molly says, a note of warning in his voice, "Now that I know what you've been through, I am fully entitled to lecture you when you start spitting blatant self-loathing, and I don't think you want a lecture right now."

"You are right," Caleb whispers, reluctantly pulling away from Molly. "I wish to take a shower and vomit, perhaps not in that order."

Molly flaps a hand at him. "Go, go. The others are all getting breakfast. I'll work on getting you a hangover cure."

Caleb pauses. "Molly?" He asks. "Are we friends? And not friends in your usual bullshitty way, I mean in the real way."

Molly sits up, looking blankly at him. "Do you really have any doubt?"

Caleb nods.

"And about the others, even? Even  _Jester,_ for fuck's sake?" 

"I... do not know," Caleb says. "People are not my strong suit."

"You are the most oblivious fuck I have ever met," Molly says, wonderment in his tone. "And my whole  _job_ was to scam oblivious fucks." 

Caleb flips him off and goes to the bathroom, smiling slightly. If what Molly is saying is true, he has a lot to think about.

He takes the shower, and manages to only puke once. The water wakes him up, stinging as it rushes over his shoulder and the thin marks on his shins. He examines them now, in the light. They aren't too bad, now that he sees them; Frumpkin could have done worse to him if he were in a bad mood. He washes the sweat from his hair, rinses it from his body. Stepping out of the shower, he feels, very literally, like a new man. He sees his reflection in the mirror- he looks awful, a blooming bruise on his cheekbone and nose, dark rings under his swollen, puffy eyes- and pauses, reflecting. He hasn't really shaved his beard in- well, it must be months. He keeps it trimmed down to a rough stubble that hides his face, because he doesn't like to look good, doesn't want to be noticed. But it's a new day, and he has friends, and he has told them his worst secret and they've forgiven him, and really, what the hell.

He picks up Fjord's razor.

* * *

Shaving is maybe the best decision Caleb could have made. It gives everyone something to comment about, something that they can laugh and joke about, pretend that the previous night's drama wasn't weird and touchy and embarrassing for all of them. As promised, Molly has obtained a hangover cure, and Caleb chokes it down and admittedly, does feel better. Everyone seems very keen to show each other that they don't care about Caleb's past, and Caleb finds that he can't do anything without someone offering to help. It is only when he breaks down as Jester butters his toast, saying, "I do not care what you are trying to prove,  _this is fucking weird,_ " and snatching the bread back, that the tension lifts a little bit. Nott sits next to him, and she smiles up at him from time to time when he isn't looking, proud of his confession, pleased by how her friends have accepted this part of her boy. Maybe now, he will find it in himself to forgive himself. Molly catches her looking and winks, a secretive smile of his own on his face. Nott wonders what he is thinking, but is distracted by more bacon being put in the buffet.

They check out, barely ahead of the 11 am checkout time, and pile into the car. Everyone seems to want to sit next to Caleb, and he eventually finds himself sandwiched between the two tieflings in the back. Jester fusses over him as they set out, and, despite his protestations, heals him to full health. Caleb has to admit it is nice to have a full range of motion in his arm, and thanks Jester. She rests her head on his shoulder, and talks non-stop about all the places she wants to take him on this trip. Caleb tunes out, mostly, only stopping to nod, or say " _Ja?"_ or tell her to continue. On his other side, Molly has put in his earbuds, and is furiously texting with Yasha, it looks like. That reminds him. Caleb, excusing himself to Jester, pulls out his phone to text Beau.

 

 **Caleb:** Sorry about last night.

 **Caleb:** I know you were looking forward to sleeping with Yasha.

 **Beau:** nah it's more important that you finally came clean. good on u btw

 **Beau:** besides, it wasnt going great tbh

 **Caleb:** Oh?

 **Beau:** it feels like every time we start getting, like, intimate, she backs off

 **Beau:** and I really don't want to be that girl who's hitting on someone who clearly isn't into that

 **Caleb:** Have you considered: talking to her about it?

 **Beau:** ha ha very funny

 **Caleb:** I will admit, I am not the best with people, but I do believe she is interested in you.

 **Caleb:** In fact, I think perhaps the reason that she backs off is precisely because she is so interested in you.

 **Beau:** Caleb, I love you and everything but. that makes no fucking sense

 **Caleb:** I think she's worried that you only want a casual hookup, and she's interested in more.

 **Caleb:**...Are you only interested in a casual hookup?

 **Beau:** idfk dude!

 **Beau:** she's just super tall and super strong and badass and I wanna kiss her and braid flowers into her hair or something sappy like that

 **Beau:** I don't think very far ahead

 **Caleb:** Well, if I were you, I would think ahead and see what you would like, and then act accordingly.

 **Beau:** I can't tell if that's really good advice or really unhelpful advice.

 **Beau:** thanks anyway, Caleb

 **Beau:** you're a good dude.

 

Caleb is about to close his phone when he gets a text from molly

 **Molly:** Caleb! best friend!

 **Caleb:** Why are we texting. We are literally sitting right next to each other.

 **Molly:** I'm being serious for once and I don't want the others to know

 **Molly:** also I think maybe you would like some privacy too

 **Caleb:** If you are going to tell me to forgive myself, or some other bullshit, you should give it up right now.

 **Molly:** oh no, far from it

 **Molly:** those are my long term goals, I'm just trying to figure out some temporary shit now

 **Molly:** *im

 **Molly:** stupid autocorrect is incompatible with my cool and detached aesthetic

 **Caleb:** Just tell me what you would like before I block you, ja?

 **Molly:** ok ok fine

 **Molly:** I want to know your opinions on physical contact

 **Molly:** you may have noticed I express affection mostly through physical contact, and I'm just trying to figure out how much of that you'll be ok with

 **Caleb:** I do not dislike it.

 **Molly:** do you like it?

 **Caleb:** Do you promise that you will not screenshot an extremely personal conversation and send it to the group chat?

 **Molly:**...

 **Caleb:** I am hovering over the block button right now. You can look to your right, if you wish.

 **Molly:** fine, fine, I promise. now dish

 **Caleb:** I do like it, ja. 

 **Molly:** to be frank, I was expecting something a lot more embarrassing, after all the commotion about it.

 **Molly:** you like all of it?

 **Caleb:** Not from strangers. But we are not strangers, nein? :)

 **Molly:**.....what is that

 **Caleb:** I know you've seen emojis before, Molly.

 **Molly:** it just feels wrong seeing it with you, though

 **Molly:** and yes, to answer your questions, we are friends, and I would like to be an even better friend.

 **Caleb:** How much touching am I in for?

 

To answer, Molly turns his head to Caleb and plants a kiss on his cheek. Caleb grimaces and makes a show of wiping his face.

 

 **Molly:** too much?

 **Caleb:** No, that is fine, but I do not want the others to make fun of me.

 

"I'm kissing Caleb's cheek because he likes it," Molly says loudly to the rest of the passengers. Caleb hits him, and Molly cackles, throwing an arm around him.

"Do you really like being kissed on the cheek, Caleb?" Jester asks, interested. "That's so sweet!" She leans over and kisses Caleb's other cheek. Caleb's cheeks are flushing, he can tell. The others are all hiding smirks.

"I have changed my mind," Caleb says under his breath. "I'm going to kill you after all, Mollymauk." 

"Being able to joke about it is progress," Molly says cheerfully, and kisses his cheek again. 

Caleb hadn't realized how touch starved he has been. The attention may be embarrassing, but Molly has an arm around his shoulders, and Jester is holding his hand, and it feels good. It feels right. And for the first time in many years, Caleb Widogast feels hopeful.


	9. Flowers, Kisses, and All That Sappy Shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His secret out, Caleb starts to bond with members of the Mighty Nein- especially one in particular.

It's a nice day. A calm day, one that Caleb hasn't had for gods alone know how long. Jester falls asleep on his shoulder, tired from the night's events. Her head is a pleasant, heavy warmth on Caleb's shoulder, though he does have to keep very still for fear of goring himself on her horns. Molly has gone back to his music, one hand absentmindedly on Caleb's knee, rubbing small circles with his thumb. It's relaxing, so much so that Caleb leans his own head back and takes an unintentional nap.

He is awakened a little bit later by Molly gently nudging him. Groaning, he allows his eyes to fall open and pulls his head off of the back. It aches, again- he really should invest in one of those travel neck pillows. 

"Sorry to wake you, but we're stopping for lunch," Molly says. "Can you get Jester up?"

He gently nudges Jester. It takes longer than he expects to wake her up, and more effort- she must have been sleeping very soundly. It's strange to see her so muted and quiet, but it only lasts for a minute before she wakes up fully and is back to her usual perky self.

They've stopped at another scenic overlook, but they wander over to the side, not wanting to get in the way of any pictures anyone else might want to take. Jester rattles on to Caleb about how they got stuff for a picnic while he was asleep, and how pretty everything is, and how excited she is to be on this trip. It's a bit overwhelming, and Caleb makes sure to sit on the opposite end of the circle from her. Beau is off in the distance, seemingly looking for something on the ground, but her staff is on the ground, saving her a space. He sits next to it, and Nott immediately scurries next to him and sits. Caleb smiles down at her, amused to see that even now, just for lunch with friends, Nott has brought along her crossbow. 

Beau returns holding something behind her back, and sits between Caleb and Yasha. Caleb watches with interest as she awkwardly turns to Yasha. "Uh, here. I got you these." She presents her gift- a small bunch of white dasies. Yasha's eyes widen slightly, and she accepts them, smiling slightly. 

"Thank you, Beauregarde,"she says, holding them to her face and sniffing. "These are lovely." 

Beau nods, awkwardly. "Uh, you're lovely," she says, and Caleb sees Molly dropping his face into his hands. "And like, these are white, and you've got that cool black and grey and white thing, going on, and I figured, uh, that you could kind of, you know. Match," she finishes lamely.

"...Anyway," Fjord says, "Why don't we break out the food? I'm starving."

They pass around the sandwiches that Jester made in the morning, all neatly wrapped in tin foil with their names scribbled on the top in fanciful writing. When Caleb's comes to him, he notices that Jester has drawn hearts all over it. He rolls his eyes and opens it. It's nothing much- just two thin slices of bread with cream cheese.

"Caleb," Nott asks, putting down her own sandwich, which practically has more deli meat than bread, "what is wrong with your bread? It's all... dark, and weird looking."

"It's Zemnian pumpernickel, Nott, this is how it is supposed to look." He turns to Fjord. "Where did you even find this? I can never get my hands on it."

"We saw it as a specialty item in one of those weird organic places, and figured maybe you would like it," Fjord says, smiling. "Is this... good? Is it right, I mean?"

Caleb takes a bite. Truth to be told, it is a little bit too much cream cheese, and he prefers to eat it open-faced, but it is still good, and the bread itself tastes just like he remembers.

"That was very kind of you," Caleb says, once he finishes chewing. " _Ja,_ this is good,  _danke."_

They eat in comfortable silence for a while, listening to the birds singing and the soft wind passing through long grass on the side of the winding road. The sun feels good on Caleb's newly shaven face, and he turns his face up into the sun when he's done eating, ignoring the twinge of pain in his neck. The others finish, too, and then Mollymauk pulls out an apple from their basket.

"Dessert, anyone?" 

He cuts thin slices of apple, passing some around the circle, popping several in his mouth. Beau steals three apples and juggles them, nearly dropping them when Yasha says, "I wish I could juggle."

"You can't juggle?" Beau demands. "You worked in a  _circus!"_

"As a bodyguard," Yasha points out. Beau sighs and drags her a few feet away, teaching her how to juggle first two, then three apples. 

"Hey!" Molly calls once he's finished with his current apples. "Give me back my fruit!"

They work their way through most of the apples before everyone is sated. They break off into smaller groups, talking quietly amongst themselves. Nott perks up and scampers over to Jester when she calls her over, obviously discussing some new mischief. She drags Fjord over, who spends most of his time shaking his head vigorously. Beau and Yasha go off by themselves, to "get more flowers," according to Beau. Caleb can't help but notice that once they reach the patch of daisies and buttercups, they spend more time talking together than picking any flowers. He yawns and lies down, pleasantly full and warm. He closes his eyes, basking in the rays of the sun.

There's a soft rustling as someone draws near, and by the sound of clinking jewelry, Caleb can tell it's Molly. He cracks an eye open as Molly tosses his coat next to Caleb and then lies down perpendicularly, his head on Caleb's stomach. 

"They seem to be getting along well," Molly says idly.

"Beau and Yasha?" Caleb asks. 

He can feel Molly nod. "I take it you gave Beau some advice? There's no way she thought of getting her flowers on her own."

" _Ja_ ," Caleb confesses. There's a moment of silence, and then Molly grabs Caleb's hand and places it in his hair, between his horns.

"Pet me," he says. 

"You're as bad as a cat," Caleb grumbles. 

"As good as a cat, I think you mean," Molly says cheerfully. "Normally I'd ask Yasha, but I'd hate to interrupt the happy couple."

"You need attention all the time," Caleb teases gently. "You beg for pets, you hog food, you cuddle in your sleep...  _Eine Katze,_ for sure." He gently strokes Molly's hair, much like he would pet Frumpkin. Molly smiles but doesn't respond.

They lie like that for a while, Caleb tentatively running his hand over Molly's head. He knows that Molly isn't lying, that he would ask Yasha; he's often seen Molly, eyes closed, leaning against Yasha as she runs her hands through his hair, finger-combing it. He is pretty sure that he is doing a piss-poor job in comparison, but he doesn't want to overstep his boundaries with Molly by touching him too much. Besides, if Caleb did a good job, Molly would probably pester him as much as Yasha, and Caleb needs solitude every once in a while.

"All right," Molly yawns eventually, sitting up. "Close enough, I suppose." He shakes his head, getting his hair back in order.

"You are a pest," Caleb says, no real venom in his words.

"Why don't I make it up to you, then?"

Caleb narrows his eyes suspiciously. "Make up to me how, exactly?"

"I saw you rubbing your neck. You know I can help with that."

"So can Yasha, and faster, without as much of the touchy-feely stuff."

"That's what makes it fun!" Molly protests. "Besides, do you want to ruin their date, when it's already going so well?" 

"Is it?" Caleb asks, sitting up and shading his eyes so he can see better. "They are either sparring or fighting to the death. Is that good?" 

Molly stands, picks up his coat, and tosses it down behind Caleb, sitting down behind him. "One of them is probably the closest Beau can come to flirting," he says, "and if they are fighting to the death, my money's on Yasha."

"You think so little of Beau?"

Molly's hands settle on his shoulders. "One of them has a staff, one of them has a huge sword. I'll make my own conclusions, thank you very much." He gently presses his thumbs right into the spot where Caleb's neck aches. "Right here?"

" _Ja,"_ Caleb says, wincing a bit. Molly nods, and sets to work, starting at the base of Caleb's neck. He's good at this, Caleb realizes with a bit of surprise. "Another skill learned in the circus?"

"Guilty as charged," Molly says, absentmindedly. "I was around a bunch of performers who pulled their muscles all the time, and I was anxious to make myself useful." His thumbs move slightly up, right to the edge of the bad spot. It feels incredibly good, and Caleb has to resist the urge to lean back further into his friend's hands. "I owed them a lot, you know. I picked up massage, a little bit of cooking, I advertised for the circus. I don't feel bad about it, honestly. It's come in handy more times than you'd expect."  

Caleb only nods slightly, not wanting to ruin the moment. This goes on for several more minutes before Fjord stands up and stretches, and calls, "Beau! Yasha! Let's get movin'!" 

"Better?" Molly asks. Caleb rolls his neck experimentally.

" _Ja,_ much," he says. " _Danke,_ Molly. You are a pest, but a useful one sometimes." 

"That's all I aim for," Molly says, flashing him a wink before getting up and tying his coat around his waist. He holds out a hand to help Caleb up, which Caleb studiously ignores, getting up under his own power. Molly only shrugs and heads back towards Fjord. 

Yasha and Beau arrive, panting slightly, and Caleb is amused to see that both of them sport daisy-chain flower crowns. Jester looks like she's about to complain that she wants one before Fjord's hand claps onto her shoulder, and she shuts her mouth. They all climb in, Fjord driving, Nott in shotgun for once. Beau and Yasha sit next to each other, still talking about- Caleb isn't entirely sure, but it sounds like they're talking about how accurate The Courting of the Crick is in terms of Xhorhasian culture. Weird, but ok. Molly sits in the middle this time, between Jester and Caleb. He puts an arm around each of them, kissing first Jester's temple as she giggles, and then Caleb's as he tries to twitch away. It's all in good fun, though; Caleb doesn't mind.

* * *

At dinnertime, they decide to eat what they have for once, having another round of sandwiches, and Fjord breaks out a few packs of beer from the refrigerator. They all traipse outside of the van, parked at a scenic forest for the night, sitting in a circle on the pavement of the parking lot under the slightly buzzing light of one of the lamps. They stay, for the most part, in the same groups: Jester drapes herself over Caleb and Molly's laps when she's done, Beau and Yasha are sitting next to each other, almost touching but not quite. Nott curls at the edge of the pool of light, drinking from her flask, and Fjord sits close enough that he can see what she's doing, but not close enough that he's intruding on her space. Molly, when they are done, pulls out his knife again and cuts small pieces of peach, feeding half to Jester. He offers a bit to Caleb on his knife, but Caleb only plucks the fruit from the knife and pops it into his mouth himself.

"Well,  _you're_ no fun," Molly says, and goes back to feeding Jester.

They're all a little bit tipsy, except, perhaps, for Nott, and Caleb blames this for the reason that when Jester sits up, and whispers, eyes wide and glowing, "Guys! We could play spin the bottle!", he doesn't immediately refuse, and is roped into the game.

"I am not playing," Nott says definitively. "I don't feel the need to make out with any of you." 

"And I don't like the idea of kissing someone who doesn't want to be kissed," Yasha says uncertainly.

Jester thinks for a moment. "We'll do a point system!" she says, looking pleased with her idea. "If you don't kiss them, you lose a point. If you kiss them on the cheek, you both get a point. If you kiss them on the mouth, you get three points, and if you kiss them for longer than like, a little peck, you get five points! But you have to both agree on what you're going to do." 

Yasha shrugs. "Works for me." 

Everyone agrees to the modified rules, including Nott, who scoots a bit closer. Fjord places one of his empty bottles on the ground between them. "Who's goin' first? Jester, maybe, since you're the one who's all fired up to do it?" 

"Okay okay okay!" Jester leans in and gives it a vigorous spin. It lands on Nott, and Jester, looking a little bit disappointed, looks at Nott, who points to her cheek. Jester plants a kiss there, and turns to Caleb.

"Can you keep score? You're the one who always says you have a  _super good memory,"_ she says. Caleb can't tell if she's making fun of him or not, but he nods anyway. Molly takes the bottle next, landing on Fjord.

"Aw, hell, Molly," Fjord says. "Did you do this on purpose?" 

"On the cheek, I suppose?" Molly says resignedly.

"You know what? What the hell," Fjord says. "Let's go for the five points." They lean in, and kiss for a good five seconds before Molly pulls back.

"Oooooh, Fjord," Jester teases, "Are you sure you're straaaiiiight?"

"No," Fjord says, and the game is paused while they all explode in questions, laughter, and teasing. 

"Now, _hold on a minute._ This isn't about Molly!" Fjord says, face flushing. "I just, you know, was thinking about it, and well, how would I know?"

"It's super easy to tell!" Jester says. "Just, are you only interested in this-" and her hands trace over her curves, "Or are you also into this?" And she runs her hands down Molly's sides and chest as he winks at Fjord.

Fjord shakes his head. "What the hell, you guys. You know what? I regret saying this. Let's move on."

"No, no!" Jester says, dropping some of the teasing. "Look, Fjord, whatever you feel like you are is fine, and we're not going to judge you, okay? Even if you do want to have sex with Molly." She serenely ignores Fjord's spluttering, high-fiving Molly.

It's Caleb's turn, and he spins the bottle, which lands on Yasha. He holds up three fingers and she nods, and they exchange a quick peck on the lips.

Fjord kisses Beau on the cheek. Nott kisses Caleb's cheek, and Beau, to her disappointment, lands on Jester. She still goes in for the five point kiss. To her delight, Yasha does land on Beau, the bottle spinning for an improbably long time. He looks at Jester, who is mid-wink, and then to Nott, who guiltily attempts to look like she didn't just cast mage hand, and realizes suddenly: this whole thing was a setup, and probably what Jester, Nott, and Fjord were talking about earlier. He looks back at Beau and Yasha, who are still kissing, and smiles a little bit. Jester is a good wingman. The two women finally separate as everyone but Fjord and Nott clap and wolf-whistle. 

The order goes back to Jester, who spins and lands on Fjord, netting each of them another five points. Molly spins and lands on Caleb.

"Five points?" He wheedles. "How else am I going to beat Jester?"

"Why not," says Caleb, and he leans in. Molly meets him halfway. It's not unpleasant; Molly's lips are warm and soft, and Caleb instinctively puts a hand to the side of the tiefling's face. Molly, to his shock, slips him a bit of tongue. _Arschloch._  Caleb, annoyed, retaliates by biting Molly's lip. Molly inhales sharply and places a hand on the back of Caleb's head, pulling him deeper into the kiss. Caleb racks his brain for something he can do in retaliation, before a single thought breaks through the drunken fog in his brain.

_What the fuck am I doing?_

He breaks away, and Molly's eyes fly open. They stare at each other, Molly teasing, Caleb mostly confused.

"Well," Fjord says in the silence. "What the fuck was that?"

"I think we should get seven points," Molly says calmly. "Sound fair?"

"Uh, no," Beau says. "If I had known I could get seven points for fucking  _making out_ for thirty seconds, I would have done that."

"I'm sure you would have," Molly says, condescending. "But Caleb and I thought of it first."

"I think it's fair!" Jester says. "And I'm in charge, so it's in the rules now." She giggles. "That was so funny, you guys, you should have seen the look on Nott's face."

The game continues for another round. Beau and Yasha _miraculously_ manage to get each other, and both times they do the seven-point-making-out. Jester looks delighted. Caleb is having a good time despite the moment of awkwardness with Molly. He is kissed by Fjord, and makes out with Jester because he's drunk and he can, and while he doesn't win, he's not at the bottom of the pack either. It's been a very long time since Caleb has been kissed, and he finds that he's missed it. 

He falls asleep immediately, before he even has a chance to change into sleep clothes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yasha is big because she's full of love


	10. Where There's Smoke...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb finds that he can return a favor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> codasaurusb, you say. why are you writing so much. this is becoming ridiculous and a little bit embarrassing. well I'll tell u. its bc I miss Molly and I don't know how to cope with my emotions so here we are

He doesn't have the nightmare again tonight, but he sleeps uneasily nevertheless, tossing and turning through strange dreams and half-awakeness. In one of these brief flashes, when he can't tell whether he's dreaming or awake or both, he thinks he sees Molly look at him, but maybe it's just a relic of the strange experience the evening before, a phantom memory of him before they kissed, and before he can look again, he's dreaming, tossed into an odd dream where he has the flat feeling of something wrong. In another burst of awareness, he shifts slightly, and something slips off of him, something multicolored and soft. It's a difficult night, but finally he falls properly asleep. He wakes with a start hours later, heart pounding. The sun is rising- none of the others are awake. He feels restless, troubled. His entire body screams that something is wrong; it's in the air, clogging his throat, making it hard to breathe. He coughs quietly, trying to clear it, sweating in what feels like unbearable heat. A few feet away, Molly sits up, eyes sleepy.

"Everything all right, Caleb?"

Caleb nods shakily. It's a poor lie, and he knows it, and it does nothing to reassure Molly. He rubs his eyes, swings his legs onto the floor, comes over to Caleb. "Nightmares again?" His voice is soft, gentle, and he presses a cool hand to Caleb's forehead. He frowns. "Are you sick? You're very hot." Caleb can't speak, so he just shakes his head, gulps air into his lungs, tries to push back the rising tide of fear that threatens to overwhelm him. 

"All right, let's go for a walk," Molly says, reaching for him. Fresh air sounds wonderful, right now, as does the promise of night air cooling him. With Molly's help, he staggers off of the bed, almost falling through the door. Molly supports him, pulling one of Caleb's arms over his own shoulder and walking him to a bench. He collapses there, and Molly sits next to him, taking his hand and gently turning it over, pressing his two fingers to Caleb's pulse. Caleb almost pulls his arm away, but Molly is being so very, very gentle, the pressure on his wrist nearly unnoticeable, and Caleb doesn't want that to stop. He takes a few shaking, long breaths, attempting to calm down. It works, to an extent: his heart slows, and he is able to control his breathing.

"Caleb, what's wrong?" Molly asks, his voice very gentle in a way Caleb has never heard it. 

" _Es ist-_ I don't know," Caleb says, closing his eyes. They are burning, and he doesn't want to start crying like a gods damned child. "Strange dreams, I suppose, and-" he takes another breath, "-and something felt wrong." 

"Ah." He feels Molly move closer on the bench, and then a feather-light touch on his face as Molly gently dabs at the corner of his eye. "It was only a dream, Caleb. I'm pretty sure we're safe here." There's a chuckle. "Not many people are as weird as us, hanging out in a forest in the dead of night." 

Caleb nods, ducks away from Molly's touch, wipes his eyes and laughs softly. " _Ja,_ you are right." The sheer unnatural terror that Caleb feels has subsided now, but there's still a pit of some nameless dread in his stomach. He takes another deep breath, struggling to put a finger on what was wrong with him. It hits him halfway through the breath, and his eyes fly open. He takes another breath, then looks to Molly.

"Molly, do you smell anything?"

Molly sniffs the air. "Trees, dirt, a bit of wood smoke, but we passed a camping site a few miles back. Nothing unusual."

Caleb shakes his head slowly. " _Nein,_ we are upwind of them. We should not be smelling any smoke." 

Molly looks around uneasily. "You're right." His eyes, sharpened by dark vision, catch something that Caleb cannot see and hold it. Molly takes a sharp breath, then says, "Okay, maybe it wasn't only a dream. We need to get out of here." 

"What is it, Molly?" Caleb asks, feeling his heart speed up. 

"There's a plume of smoke about half a mile away," Molly says tersely, pulling Caleb to his feet. "Help me wake up the others." 

Caleb shakes his head. "You do it," he says, casting Dancing Lights. "I would like to keep an eye out here. Just in case."

He's not sure how long he stands there- fifteen minutes, maybe. All he knows is that, a while after Molly leaves, he sees a flicker of orange, and his vision seems to narrow to that one point. It's joined, a moment later, by several more flames, coming closer. For a second, Caleb has the ridiculous urge to walk towards the flame, walk into it, let it consume him as it consumed his parents. He takes a shaking step towards the fire. 

There's a stinging, sharp pain as Molly slaps him, hard. 

"Time for that later," he says, and then leans down to press a kiss to his forehead. "Right now, we need to go." 

" _Ja,"_ Caleb says, a little stunned, " _Ja, gehen wir jetzt."_

"I have no idea what you just said, but that's ok," Molly says, climbing into the driver's seat. "You've got shotgun."

Caleb sits, buckles himself in, and Molly pulls out rapidly. For once, Caleb is glad that Molly drives so fast. He sits back in his seat, shivering. Nott's voice sounds in his ear, quiet but anxious. 

"Caleb, are you all right, I repeat, are you all right. You can reply to this message." 

"Do not worry, Nott, I am fine," Caleb murmurs as softly as he can. "I was a bit shaken up, is all." 

* * *

None of them particularly feel like driving much after that, so they stop in the next town they can find and get rooms. Jester eventually convinces Nott, Beau, and Yasha to go out with her for a "girl's day out," and Fjord reluctantly agrees to go as their chauffeur. 

"Besides," he says, "It'll be good to go out and find a good cafe. I haven't had decent coffee this entire godsdamned trip." As they get their stuff together, Caleb looks inquiringly at Mollymauk.

"I would have thought you would be all over this shit," he says. "Aren't you always one for spa days and all that?"

Molly shrugs. "I think I'd rather stay with you," he says. "Given that you probably saved all our lives, I think I owe you some company, at the very least."

"Molly," Caleb says warningly, "I do not want you to remain here against your will. Go out and have fun."

"Nah," Molly says, smiling winningly. "It's no skin off my back. I prefer the places they have in Zadash, anyway. I have standards, you know. Besides, small towns in these parts don't always welcome tieflings, and I think I've had my fair share of conflict over that for this week." 

They are poor excuses, but Molly is being kind to him, and remembering what Yasha says, Caleb allows them to stand. "What would you like to do, then?"

Molly shrugs. "Watch Netflix? I haven't had good enough signal to watch any of the stuff in my queue. Or we could pirate a movie, if you prefer." 

Caleb sighs. "I have not seen movies in a long time. You pick." 

Molly flops onto the bed, opening his laptop and thoughtfully tapping one long, clawed finger against his lips. "I know. Have you ever seen Howl's Moving Castle?"

" _Nein,"_ Caleb says. Molly grins and pats the bed next to him before turning his attention back to his computer. Caleb fastidiously removes his shoes before climbing onto the bed next to Molly. Molly hits the play button, grimaces, closes out of several tabs that pop up, and hits it again. He wraps an arm around Caleb's shoulders, pulling him closer and moving the laptop onto both their laps.

* * *

"That was... very confusing," Caleb says, turning to Molly as the credits roll.

"What do you mean?"

"So the prince just leaves?"

"Well, he's very polite," Molly says patiently, "and it's not like Sophie is in love with him."

"What's the point of including him, then?"

"Well, it ends the war." 

Caleb shakes his head. "And that is not the way that magic works."

"It's fiction, you philistine," Molly complains. "Where's the suspension of disbelief?"

Caleb doesn't answer, just rests his head on Molly's shoulder. They've kind of... melted together over the course of the movie. Caleb has realized over the past few days that Mollymauk is actually a very cuddly person; he just holds himself back when he's around people if he doesn't know that they like it. His arm is wrapped around Caleb's waist, now, and their legs are tangled together. Molly kisses the top of his head and he turns his face up towards Molly, who smiles down at him in a way that makes Caleb feel absurdly happy that Molly is this happy because of him. 

"You are very kind," Caleb says. "Kinder than I deserve."

Molly huffs. "What have I told you about that kind of mentality? It's up to me to decide how much kindness you deserve from me."

"And what have I done for you that merits this?"

Molly shrugs against him. "You tried to fight my battle for me, which truly, sweetheart, if I'm being honest, was a travesty." Caleb winces at the memory. "You're kind to me, and you genuinely want to make things better. Besides, Yasha likes you."

"Does she?"

"It's so hard to tell, isn't it?" 

They both laugh a bit at this. 

"No, Caleb Widowgast, I like you," Molly says, meeting his eyes. "In fact, I like you a lot." 

Caleb would normally argue further, but there is something strange in Molly's eyes, and Caleb himself feels very affectionate towards Molly. He leans up, impulsively, and presses a kiss to Molly's cheek. Molly twitches slightly, and Caleb, fearing he's overstepped his boundary, murmurs, "Sorry," and attempts to pull away. 

Molly's arm tightens protectively around Caleb. He looks like he's been punched, for a second, before he snaps back to his normal cheerful self. "No, that's fine, it was just... unexpected. I don't know that I've ever seen you intentionally do something affectionate without prompting."

"Your disdain for personal space seems to be rubbing off on me," Caleb says, which makes Molly laugh.

They're silent for a while, Molly's hand finding its way up Caleb's back to stroke his hair. Caleb yawns, leaning into the touch, and Molly chuckles. "Now who's like a cat?"

"Frumpkin!" Caleb says, sitting bolt upright. "I have not had a chance to let him out of the Feywild in so long!" He snaps, and an irate Frumpkin appears at the foot of the bed.

" _Ja, ja,_ you are a whiny little monster," Caleb murmurs as Frumpkin wrestles with his hand. "It is not my fault that Fjord is allergic to you."

Molly, delighted, holds out his hand, which Frumpkin sniffs and then rubs against gently. "He's so cute," the tiefling coos. 

"Oh,  _ja,_ suck up to the tiefling who pets you," Caleb grumbles. "Not the wizard who spends half his money on bringing you back every time someone kicks you into oblivion."

"What can I say?" Molly asks expansively. "He has good taste."

* * *

Fjord, Jester, and Nott come back a little before dinner, and Caleb quickly whisks Frumpkin away. Caleb is amused to see that evidently, Fjord was included in some of the treatments; his nails are painted a deep green, and he smells, like the others, mildly flowery. Beau and Yasha come back a little bit after that, breathless and holding hands, laughing at some inside joke. Caleb makes a mental note to ask Beau if they are together. 

He falls asleep with Molly wrapped partially around him, and is therefore a little bit alarmed when he awakens by himself.

He sits up and looks. Molly is sitting up at the other end of the bed, staring into the distance, his arms wrapped around his knees. The tip of his tail is twitching, which, if Jester is anything to go by, is a sign that he is worried.

"Mollymauk?" He whispers. Molly turns to him, and immediately the bullshit is back- he scoots back towards Caleb, a teasing smile on his lips, whispering, "Can't sleep without me? Or are you just hoping-"

"Tell me what is wrong, Molly," Caleb says, and when Molly smiles, about to respond, he says, even quieter, " _Bitte,_ Molly. I have trusted you with my greatest secret. I think you may owe me a little bit of trust in return."

Molly sighs, dropping the facade. "It's nothing important, really. Just- that run-in with the Tabaxi, remember?" Caleb nods. "Well, now she knows I'm alive, and she'll no doubt tell other people who knew Lucien, whoever he was, and what if they find me? I'm not Lucien," he says, and Caleb remembers the way that Molly snarled his old name, back when he told them his story. "I don't want to go back to being Lucien, and to be honest, I'd rather not find any other old... friends. Or enemies, for that matter, and she made it sound like he had more than his fair share."

Caleb nods, processing. "Well, I don't know how you think they will find you," he says to Molly. "You gave her a false number, and you did not mention where we were coming from or where we were going. You even told her not to tell the others. I think you are safe, Mr. Mollymauk."

"I don't feel safe," Molly says. Caleb hesitates.

"Would you," he begins, then stops. "I am not good with these things, Molly," he whispers, trying again, "but would you like me, want me to, to comfort you like you comfort me? With touch, and affection, and such?"

Molly smiles at him. "Do you know, Mr. Caleb, I do believe I would." He scoots closer to Caleb, who awkwardly holds out an arm, and ducks under it, burying his face in Caleb's shoulder. Caleb, a little bit at a loss for what to do, places his hand gently in Molly's mass of curls, and this time, he attempts to copy Yasha, running his fingers gently through Molly's hair. Molly doesn't seem to mind, so he keeps at it, gently rubbing Molly's back with his other hand. After a while of this, Molly raises his head and smiles at Caleb. It's his usual wicked smirk, and this time, Caleb doesn't see that he's concealing his true feelings.

"This is wonderful," Molly says, yawning, "but I think our time will be better spent asleep. Unless, of course, you want to-"

"I do not,  _danke,_ Molly."

"Are you sure? As I believe you found out, I am a  _very_ good kisser."

"Good night, Molly," Caleb says, easing himself back onto the pillow. Molly exhales and slides back under the sheets with him, and as he falls asleep, Caleb feels the now almost familiar feeling of Molly at his back, pressing his body to Caleb's.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also thank you to everyone who is commenting please know that I love you


	11. Hupperdook

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feelings for Mollymauk Tealeaf? In Caleb Widogast? It's more likely than you think.

Caleb wakes up to a flash going off.

He blinks blearily up and sees a frankly delighted-looking Jester holding her camera phone. 

"You two are adooooooorable together," she says. Caleb blinks.

"Jester, why are you in our room?"

"Fjord texted us a picture of the happy couple," says Beau's voice. She's standing in the room too, her hand covering her mouth.

"Ignore Beau, darling," Molly says from the pillow. "She's just jealous."

"As if," Beau scoffs. 

Molly sighs. "Caleb, sweetheart, would you mind moving your hand?"

Caleb looks down and realizes suddenly that his hand is cupping the back of Molly's head. With a murmured apology, he pulls away from Molly, who props himself up and kisses Caleb's cheek. "Good morning, love," he says cheerfully. Jester giggles, and the flash goes off several more times.

"You are just giving them more ammunition, Molly," Caleb mutters. Molly grins.

"That's the idea," Molly murmurs back, before winking and pushing away. 

Jester sends the pictures to the group chat when they are all back in the van. Caleb looks at them and has to admit that, out of context, the images could be easily misinterpreted. Evidently Caleb rolled over in his sleep; his face is buried in the area where Molly's neck meets his shoulder, his hand nestled at the back of the tiefling's head, buried in his curls. Molly's face is buried in Caleb's hair. Molly grins, peering over Caleb's shoulder.

"Jester's right, that  _is_ adorable. I'm making that my new lock screen."

Caleb smiles wryly. "You have a very strange sense of humor, Molly."

Molly meets his eyes and replies, "Who says I think it's funny?" 

"Why else would you do it?"

He shrugs. "I'm cute. You're cute. It's a memory with a friend, why not?" 

Caleb breaks eye contact first, scrolling through the other snapshots. Jester has one where Molly is kissing Caleb's cheek. Caleb looks like an idiot in this one: his eyes half closed, a smile on his face. He does, admittedly, look like he is in love with Molly. The last one has Caleb blushing bright red, looking at Jester. Molly looks unruffled as ever, wearing the flirty smile that he only ever seems to use to tease Caleb. Before he can think too hard about it, Caleb saves all three to his phone. Something about the series of images makes him smile, and he wants to remember this feeling for when he has a bad day.

Remembering his thoughts yesterday, he texts Beau.

 

 **Caleb:** So are you and Yasha official now?

 **Beau:** wdym

 **Caleb:** What does that mean?

 **Beau:** what do you mean

 **Caleb:** The acronym, what does it stand for?

 **Caleb:** Oh.

 **Beau:** PFFFFFFFT

 **Beau:** brb screenshotting this

 

Everyone's phones buzz simultaneously.

 

 **Beau:** ok sorry what were you saying

 **Caleb:** Are you in a relationship with Yasha?

 **Beau:** define relationship

 **Caleb:** I suspect you are avoiding the question.

 **Beau:** no, no, I'm not, it's just... complicated

 **Beau:** like, I'm pretty sure she likes me, and I like her, and we kiss sometimes, but I don't know if she actually wants to date me?

 **Caleb:**.....

 **Caleb:**...........

 **Caleb:**................

 **Beau:** ok when I put it like that it does sound kind of stupid

 **Beau:** but enough about me what about you and Molly

 **Caleb:** We are friends.

 **Beau:** bullshit my dude

 **Beau:** you two sleep together every night we're in a hotel and it always ends up with you in his arms

 **Beau:** and that night that we got away from the fire, the two of you were outside doing something together

 **Beau:** wait.

 **Beau:** are you two, like,

 **Beau:** doing stuff together or like. *doing* stuff together.

 **Caleb:** We are good friends, if that is what you are asking.

 **Beau:** don't bullshit me, anyone can see from a mile away that you're into him

 **Caleb:** This conversation is over.

 

He puts away his phone quickly. It buzzes three more times before Beau gives up and resumes her conversation with Yasha. 

"Everything ok?" Molly asks, putting a light hand on his shoulder. "Beau giving you too much of a hard time?" He glares at Beau, who glares back.

"She is an  _arschloch, ja,"_ Caleb says. 

* * *

Beau gets more and more restless as the day wears on, and finally Caleb taps her shoulder over the seat back and asks, "Beau, what has got you so jittery?"

"I'm excited, dude!" she says. "This was like, the whole reason I agreed to come on the trip!" 

"What is?" Caleb asks, confused. She points out the window at an approaching sign that reads "Hupperdook: 5 miles".

"Hupperdook?" he asks.

"It's a huuuuuuuge party town, and we're totally gonna get smashed there," Beau says. 

"It sounds funny," Jester says from next to Molly. They've kind of settled into this seating arrangement semi-permanently: Fjord driving, Nott up front, Beau sitting next to Yasha, and Caleb, Molly, and Jester crammed into the back. "Hupperdook. Hupperdook. Do you think that the people who live there are called dookies?"

Caleb's first view of Hupperdook is... underwhelming, to say the least. From what Beau had said, he had expected to see a riot of colors, lights everywhere, people laughing and parading in the streets. Hupperdook, though, is downright... dreary.

"Huh," Beau says. "I kind of expected it to be a little bit more... exciting."

"Should we turn around?" Jester asks quietly. 

"No, I think the partying starts at sundown," Beau says. "Let's just... get a hotel room or two and wait it out, yeah?" 

They do so, and Caleb is beginning to think about just giving up and going to bed early when he hears a loud whistle blow.

Hupperdook is truly transformed at night, Caleb thinks, walking through the crowded streets. Molly reaches for his hand, and absentmindedly, he gives it to him. Beau turns around, looks at their joined hands, and raises an eyebrow. Caleb quickly tugs his hand away, not noticing Molly's disappointment. 

They stop at a club called the Blushing Tankard, and arrive just in time to hear them announcing the rules for the "Hour of Honor." Molly talks them into joining- well, he talks Caleb into it. Nobody else really needs much convincing. Jester and Yasha agree to sit this one out.

In retrospect, he really should have been one of the ones sitting out. He manages, though, somehow, to hold down his liquor, and then the other man pukes, Molly cheers and helps him up, patting his back perhaps a little harder than he had meant to. Beau, much to his amusement, is the one who can't finish her last drink. He is unsurprised when Nott handily beats the opposition drinker in the "all or nothing" round. 

"She is like a little bottomless pit," Caleb says, finding, to his mild surprise, that Molly has his arm around him and is half-supporting him. "She is just a  _kleines Mädchen,_ but she can hold more liquor than me."

Molly is looking down at him with both concern and amusement. "I think, perhaps, the free drink tokens will have to wait. You seem like you've had quite enough to drink." He gently pries Caleb's from his hand and hands it to Yasha. They both watch, amused, as Beau totters over to Yasha.

"YASHAAAAAAAAAA!" she yells, making everyone in the general vicinity turn. "I am  _so_ drunk right now."

"I can see that," Yasha says.

"You're really pretty, Yasha. I love you."

"Beauregard," Caleb says, hiccuping slightly, "I do not know that now is the-"

"No, no, let it happen, Caleb," Molly says. "I want to see how this plays out."

"Yasha," Beau says, slurring her words a little, "Will you be my girlfriend?"

"You know what?" Yasha says diplomatically. "Why don't you ask me again when you're sober, and maybe then I'll say yes."

"Oh, that's right," Beau says. "That's a good plan, Yasha, you are really smart." 

Yasha gives Molly a pleading look as Beau collapses onto her, but Molly just laughs.

"Come on, Caleb," he says, pulling him to the middle of the dance floor. "Let's dance."

"I do not dance, Mollymauk," Caleb attempts to say, but Molly either doesn't hear him or ignores him, because Caleb finds himself in the middle of the dance floor, swaying awkwardly to the music. The DJ evidently takes pity on them, since the music gradually transitions from an upbeat song to a slower song, and Molly puts his hands on Caleb's hips and Caleb puts his on Molly's shoulders, and it's very middle school dance but Caleb is having a very good time. He looks up at Molly, who smiles back and pulls him closer, and Caleb suddenly finds himself overwhelmed by how pretty Molly is. He stares up at Molly for what feels like a few hours, before Molly raises his eyebrows and says, smiling, "Something on my face, dear?"

"You are very pretty," Caleb says, and then winces. " _Es tut mir leid,_ I am very drunk." 

Molly grins. "Come on, then," he says, and gestures to the door. "I believe that Yasha is ordering a cab for Beau, I'm sure you can tag along." It's a bit of a blur, what happens then, but he is helped into the backseat next to Beau, who smiles drunkenly at him. He looks out the window at Molly, who waves to him, and he feels that odd happiness again, and suddenly recognizes what it is.

"I asked out Yasha," Beau says as the cab starts to move.

"Oh no," Caleb says.

"No, it went super good," Beau starts, but Caleb cuts her off.

"Oh  _no,"_ he whispers. "Beauregard, I think I have a crush on Molly."

"No shit," she says. 

"No, this is really bad, Beau," Caleb says urgently. "He's very pretty and he's very good at kissing." The memory of Molly making out with him popped into his head, and suddenly he couldn't think about anything  _but_ kissing Molly.

"Isn't that good, though?" Beau asks.

"I still have to share a bed with him," Caleb says, agitated. "And Beauregard, I am  _very drunk."_

Beau sighs. "Fine. I'll share a bed with you tonight, if it makes you feel better."

" _Danke,_ Beauregard." It does, but not much. He had been getting to enjoy the rhythm that he and Molly had worked out, and now this was going to get in the way.

He had a hard time falling asleep that night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope u missed the angst bc here we go again I guess


	12. Aftershocks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens in Hupperdook stays in Hupperdook.

Nobody is happy waking up the next day.

Caleb wakes with the worst headache he has ever had, and immediately has to sprint to the bathroom, just making it in time before everything comes up in a horrible mess. Someone pulls his hair away from his face, and a large hand gently rubs his back, and for an electrifying second, he wonders if it's Molly. When he takes the time to look between heaves, though, it's Yasha. She waits for him to finish and rinse his mouth before gently placing a hand on his shoulder. Her hands glow, and almost immediately his headache dissipates and his stomach settles.

"That," he says to her, "is a very useful trick."

She nods. "I can only do it once, though, so I'm going to go get Jester for the others." She leaves quietly, leaving Caleb alone in the bathroom.

Caleb splashes some water on his face before heading back into the room, unplugging his phone and crawling back into bed to check for messages. He has three notifications from Molly:

 

 **Molly:** you get to the room safe?

 

and, a few hours later:

 

 **Molly:** I can't believe you're cheating on me

 **Molly:** with beau, too. that stings.

 

That reminds Caleb of his situation, and he groans, sinking his face into his hands. Beau moans. "Caleb, if you're having some kind of crisis, can you please be a little quieter about it?"

"Sorry, Beau."

Truth to be told, the situation felt a little easier in the light of day, and when he was relatively sobered up. He'd had crushes before, and he had gotten over them. He could get over this, and go back to seeing Molly as just a friend, and everything would be fine. 

Yasha re-entered the room, Jester in tow. Jester rolled her eyes. 

"See, this is what you get for drinking all night," Jester says, awfully hypocritical for someone who was disappointed they didn't get included in the games. She gently nudges Beau with her tail, and Beau sighs in relief.

"And you too," Jester says, punching Molly gently. Molly grumbles, and then sits up, blinking.

"Funny," he comments, "I thought I would be feeling much more hungover this morning."

"I healed you!" Jester says cheerfully. "All of you owe me so much now, but I haven't decided what you owe me yet so you'll need to wait until I see a really nice cafe or something or a really cute thing." 

Molly blows her a kiss and turns to see Caleb. "Ah, there you are," he says lightly. "Awake at last, done with your midnight tryst? I thought we had something here, Caleb." 

"It was nothing against you, Molly," Caleb says. He can't tell if Molly is genuinely upset or merely teasing, but it's best to make sure. "We were both very drunk and exhausted." 

"Oh well," Molly says, and Caleb could swear he sees Molly relax a little bit. "If that's really it, I suppose I may find it in my heart to forgive you,"

"That's very kind of you, Molly," Beau says. "Maybe the two of you should, you know. Kiss and make up."

" _Beau,"_ Caleb hisses, kicking her hard under the covers. 

"Maybe when we get back on the road," Molly says. 

It's less awkward than Caleb was expecting, to sit next to Molly as they depart Hupperdook. True, every once in a while he looks at Molly flirting with Jester and feels a small pang of jealousy, and every once in a while he catches Molly smiling at him and feels a little tug in his stomach, but it genuinely feels good when Molly throws an arm around Caleb's shoulder and kisses his temple, claiming, "I need to make up for lost time." Unthinkingly, he nuzzles into Molly's neck, and the tiefling pulls him even closer. He only reluctantly separates from Caleb when Caleb's phone buzzes, and allows him to slide away for more privacy.

 

 **Beau:** so

 **Beau:** we just gonna ignore what you said last night or

 **Caleb:** That is my plan, ja.

 **Beau:** Caleb, with all due respect, that's the stupidest plan I've ever heard

 **Beau:** this is Mollymauk we're talking about

 **Caleb:** So?

 **Beau:** dude might not be able to speed-read like you, but he can read you like a fuckin book

 **Beau:** not just you. all of us tbh

 **Beau:** he's scary intuitive

 **Caleb:** What do you propose, then?

 **Beau:** just fuckin tell him

 **Beau:** besides, from what I've seen, he's... probably into you as well

 **Beau:** I don't see him cuddling with my dear girlfriend Yasha as much anymore, you seem to be his bedmate of choice

 **Caleb:** You asked her?

 **Beau:** helllllll yeah

 **Beau:** you know what that means?

 **Caleb:** Everyone gets to collect money from Fjord?

 **Beau:** wait are you serious people were betting on us

 **Beau:** wait no, irrelevant

 **Beau:** what I'm saying is now I'm a relationship EXPERT

 **Beau:** and you should ask Molly on a date instead of repressing your feelings and dying alone

 

Caleb doesn't continue the conversation. He closes out of his phone and sighs, slumping against the window.

"Something wrong, dearest?" Molly asks. It's joking, but his eyes are fixed on Caleb's anxiously.

" _Nein,"_ Caleb says. "Everything is wonderful and I am extremely happy with the way things are going." He even flashes a smile at Molly.

Molly winces. "Well, know I know something's wrong. Remember what you were saying about trust?"

"Molly," Caleb says, "I promise you that if something happens that is a legitimate concern, I will come to you. This is just- just a silly little thing. I'll be fine."

Molly looks unconvinced, but picks up Caleb's hand and kisses it, and Caleb averts his eyes before he can think too much about how soft Molly's lips are. "All right, my darling, but I'll be here if you need me." 

Caleb's phone buzzes again, and he can't resist the temptation to check it.

 

 **Beau:** lol you are sooooo fucked

 **Caleb:** This is not funny, Beau.

 **Beau:** it kind of is a little

 **Beau:** especially when I think about all those times you threw a fit bc he was flirting with you

 **Caleb:** You are a bad friend.

 **Beau:** no, I'm sorry, I'm doing my best here

 **Beau:** I'm really not good at dating advice I guess

 **Caleb:** What did you do when you had a crush? To get over it, I mean?

 **Beau:** generally found someone willing to have sex with me to take my mind off it

 **Beau:** you know, Molly probably wouldn't mind, if you did want to, you know... take your mind off some things.

 **Caleb:** This is the opposite of good advice.

 **Beau:** see? I'm useful

 **Beau:** just do the exact opposite of what I say to do

 **Beau:** except do tell Molly.

 **Caleb:** I think I liked you better when you were pining for Yasha. 

 

He exits out again. He turns to look at Molly, and feels that little twinge of- affection? He doesn't quite know what to call it- when he sees the way that Molly's hair falls into his face. He's biting his lip softly, texting with someone- probably Yasha, who also has her phone out- and he jumps a bit and closes out of the text window when Caleb impulsively reaches out to tuck his hair behind his ear. He sighs and looks at Caleb. "Caleb- and I want you to know that I am being serious for once, though it pains me- if I had done something to upset you, you would tell me, wouldn't you?" 

"You haven't," Caleb says immediately. 

"But you would tell me?" Caleb nods. Molly smiles, a little forced. "Sorry, just- you wouldn't sleep in our bed yesterday, and you won't talk to me today, and I want to know if I've done something that makes you uncomfortable. Was it the dancing?"

" _Nein, nein,"_ Caleb says. "That was... fun. I enjoyed that."

"I'll have to take you out dancing sometime when we're back in Zadash, then," Molly says. Caleb has to remind himself that Molly is speaking  _strictly platonically,_ and he rests his head on Molly's shoulder to hide the flush that he fears is creeping over his face. Molly hesitantly puts a hand on Caleb's head, and when Caleb doesn't flinch away, he begins methodically running his fingers through Caleb's hair. It's relaxing; Caleb can see why Molly likes it. He settles into Molly's shoulder, and lets himself imagine a world where Molly feels the same about him. He relaxes, half-dozing, until Molly whispers, "Caleb, darling?"

" _Ja,_ _liebling?"_

"Liebling?" 

The realization of that he has just said jolts Caleb back to consciousness, and he sits up, nearly bashing Molly's jaw with his head. 

"Caleb, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Caleb says far too quickly, and far too loudly. Jester stares at him curiously, and Fjord calls back, "Everybody all right back there?"

" _Ja,"_ Caleb says. " _Entschuldigung,_ I was just half asleep, is all." He turns to Molly. "What were you saying?"

"Nothing important," Molly says. He frowns. "That word you used- was that Zemnian?"

" _Ja._ It means 'friend'," Caleb says, the lie coming naturally to him.

"Makes sense," Molly says. He grins lasciviously. "Dreaming of me, were you?"

In a way he had been. "Self-absorbed as ever?"

"You caught me," Molly says, and Caleb's phone buzzes. He leans away to check it. It's from Jester.

 

 **Jester:** you know I'm not expert but my mom had some zemnian clients before 

 **Jester:** and you know maybe I could be wrong but I don't think liebling means friend

 **Caleb:** You're wrong, its a word for friend.

 **Jester:** nope I was right! I already used google translate so I know it's accurate

 **Jester:** caaaaaaleeeeeeeb, do you have feeeeeelings for molllyyyyyyyy????????

 **Caleb:** Scheisse.

 **Jester:** omg omg omg this is so cute!

 **Caleb:** Nein, Jester, this is a disaster.

 **Caleb:** He has done nothing but care for me as a friend, and I have developed inopportune feelings.

 **Jester:** ok but Caleb have you considered that he maybe likes you baaaack??

 **Jester:** you could just ask him on a date, and maybe he'll fall in love with you too!

 **Caleb:** I will do no such thing.

 **Jester:** :( :( :(

 **Jester:** it's ok Caleb! I'll help you get his attention and then the two of you can start dating and it'll be so fun and you can go on double dates with Yasha and Beau!

 **Jester:** I am the best wingman ever

 

 _Scheisse._ Caleb immediately starts typing as quickly as possible.

 

 **Caleb:** Jester, this is not necessary, I have told you I am not interested, and I've already talked to Beau and we agreed that letting my feelings die down was the best course of action.

 **Jester:** ooh beau knows too?

**Jester added Beau to the chat.**

**Jester renamed the chat "get Caleb a boyfriend".**

**Beau:** holy shit dude you told JESTER?

 **Jester:** no he didn't!!! I figured it out myself because I am very smart :)

 **Jester:** now all we have to do is get Caleb to realize that Mollymauk wants him!

 **Jester:** actually you know what? this will be easier without Caleb being grumpy and pessimistic all the time!

**Jester kicked Caleb from "get Caleb a boyfriend."**

 

Caleb closed his eyes. If Jester knew, all plans to keep away from Mollymauk until his feelings died down were doomed. His phone vibrated.

 

 **Beau:** not gonna lie dude

 **Beau:** your shit's fucked

 **Beau:** good luck

 

* * *

Jester's machinations begin that night. Caleb is eating another sandwich when he hears a gasp and turns to see Jester sitting on his bed, a water bottle overturned on the mattress. 

"Oh nooooooo!" she wails. "Caleb your bed is soaked! I'm so sorry that you're going to be all wet and uncomfortable for the night!" 

"No big deal," Molly says from behind him. "Caleb can sleep with me tonight. Unless, of course, that will also make you all wet and uncomfortable for the night."

"I think I am fine," Caleb says curtly. "I think that Jester could use Prestidigitation to dry it,  _nein?"_

"Sorry Caleb," she trills, "But I used all my spell slots curing you all of your hangovers and I won't have any more until tomorrow! Besides, I didn't prepare it today." 

"I'll switch beds with you, Caleb," Fjord offers. "I don't particularly mind if the bed's a bit damp."

"No, it's fine," Molly says. "Caleb, you don't mind sharing a bed with me, do you?" He looks at Caleb, a little bit of anxiety in his eyes, and honestly, how is Caleb supposed to respond to that?

" _Ja,_ I suppose," Caleb says. "Although it seems a bit inconsiderate to intrude on your personal boundaries." He directs these words to Jester, who merely smiles sweetly and says, "Oh well! Nothing I could have done to prevent it, I guess."

As they climb into bed, Molly stops Caleb. "You've been acting very strange, lately," he says. "Something I've done?"

" _Nein,"_ Caleb says. Molly doesn't look reassured, but he leans in and cups Caleb's cheeks gently in his palms, kissing his forehead softly. "Sleep well then, sweetheart." Caleb, facing the wall, expects to feel the warm pressure of Mollymauk at his back, but the tiefling stays on his side of the bed, and Caleb, despite his reservations, shifts until he is close to Mollymauk, wraps an arm around his waist. Molly rolls to face him, face brightening in the gloom, and it's all Caleb can do not to close the few inches between them and press his lips to Molly's

"You want this?" Molly whispers.

" _Ja,"_ Caleb murmurs back. Molly's arms are around him at once, pressing him close, and his tail winds around Caleb's leg. It's familiar, and comforting, and Caleb, despite the nagging feeling of guilt, relaxes into him, matches his breathing to Molly's as they both drift to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I’ll keep all my emotions right here, and then one day I’ll die." -John Mulaney and also Caleb Widogast probably


	13. Eight and a Half Minutes in Heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb is clever. Jester is cleverer.

As resentful as he is at Jester for interfering, Caleb has to admit that it's nice to wake up in Molly's arms again. He peeks through his lashes, wanting to see what's going on without committing to talking to someone just yet.

Molly has his earbuds in, and is softly humming whatever song he's listening to. Caleb listens for a few minutes, but doesn't recognize the tune- unsurprising, considering that he spends most of his time not paying any attention to pop culture. Sunlight streams in through the windows of the van, turning the frizz in Molly's hair to a golden halo.

"You know, darling," Molly drawls, "you could get a better look if you actually opened your eyes." 

Caleb gives up the pretense and opens his eyes. " _Guten Morgen,_ Mollymauk," he says, and then feeling that he is being too obvious, he sits up and calls, " _Guten Morgen,_ everybody," to the van at large.

"Good morning, Caleb," Jester says sweetly. "Did you sleep well? You looked very peaceful and happy. Maybe you should sleep with Molly more often."

"Leave the poor boy alone!" Molly says, taking his earbuds out. "Although, for the record, any of you are welcome to come to bed with me when you like." Caleb's stomach drops at "any of you"- just another reminder that Caleb isn't special to him like he's special to Caleb. He climbs past Molly with a soft " _Entschuldigung,"_ and Molly, smiling, ruffles his hair as he passes. 

He picks up his phone and checks for texts. He's got several: three from Jester and one from Beau. He starts with Beau.

 

**Beau:** Jester: 1  
         Caleb: 0

**Caleb:** This is not funny, Beauregard.

**Beau:** it is a little bit tbh

**Beau:** besides, what do you want me to do about it? it's jester she's a force of nature

**Beau:** there's no going back man

**Caleb:** Tell me if she is going to do something drastic, at least? Bitte?

**Beau:** I'll do my best but to be fair she did get you into bed with him

**Beau:** full props to jester she's actually not bad at wingmanning

**Caleb:** I do not need a wingman, Beauregard, I need some time to get over my feelings.

 

He goes to Jester's texts.

 

**Jester:** hey caleeeeeeeeeb

**Jester:** I know that you're busy cuddling with your future boyfriend but I just want to take the time to say that you guys would make a really cute couple

**Jester:** and I can't wait to bring you guys together :) love you!

**Caleb:** Jester, we are never going to be "a couple".

**Caleb:** And to be frank, your brand of "wing manning", as Beau calls it, is terrifying

**Jester:** maybe but it works!!

**Jester:** it worked with Yasha and Beau and you just need to sit back and let me take care of everything, ok?

**Jester:** I've got a reeeeeally good idea

**Caleb:** Jester, what are you planning?

**Caleb:** Jester?

**Caleb:** Hallo?

 

There is no response. Caleb swears and gets dressed, checking around to make sure that Jester hasn't set any traps for him there. He gets in and glances around, making sure there isn't something ready to, he doesn't know, spill coffee on him so he has to take off his shirt or something equally ridiculous. His phone buzzes.

 

**Beau:** looooooooool 

**Beau:** you look like you're being hunted

**Caleb:** I *am* being hunted.

**Beau:** fair nuff

 

His phone buzzes again, this time from Molly. Caleb answers it with a sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach.

 

**Molly:** are you sure you're all right? you are definitely acting very weird

**Caleb:** Nothing is wrong, Molly.

**Molly:**...........

**Caleb:** Fine. If you must know, Jester is threatening to play a prank on me.

**Molly:** oh

**Molly:** oh NO

**Caleb:** You can understand why I am wary.

**Molly:** just come chill with me all day

**Molly:** I'll watch your back don't worry

**Molly:** wait was the water spill on purpose last night?

**Caleb:** Keine Annung.

**Molly:** in common, dearest?

**Caleb:** It means no idea.

**Molly:** why not just type no idea then

**Caleb:** I am under a lot of stress.

**Molly:** fair

 

Molly stretches and gets up. "Not that I don't appreciate the time to sleep in, but maybe we should get on the road again?" 

There's a general murmur of agreement. They set about converting the van back into its seated form, and Molly sticks close to Caleb. Jester doesn't even come close to Caleb or Molly, but her eyes dart to them every few minutes, and she has a distinctly self-satisfied air.

When they get into their seats, Molly mutters something to Yasha, who nods and turns to Beau.

"Why don't we let them sit up here today?" she asks. "They haven't had a chance to sit somewhere with leg room for a while."

"Sure," Beau says, glancing at Molly and then Caleb, a hint of an amused smirk on her face.

Molly makes sure he is sitting in the seat in front of Jester, not Caleb, and then pulls out his phone and begins to type. Caleb has the chat opened before the first message even arrives.

 

**Molly:** ok so I checked both beds and I don't see anything funny

**Molly:** and with any luck, changing the seating will upset any arrangements she has in the van

**Caleb:** You are a gift from the gods.

**Molly:** finally, someone else who recognizes that <3

**Molly:** besides this is my chance to finally show her who the most powerful tiefling is

 

His phone buzzes while he's thinking of a good reply.

 

**Beau:** so what was all that about?

**Caleb:** I took a calculated risk.

**Caleb:** Jester: 1. Caleb: 1.

**Beau:** what did you do?

**Caleb:** I told Molly that Jester is planning to pull a prank on me, and he's agreed to watch my back. 

**Beau:** pfffffffffft

**Caleb:** What now?

**Beau:** you went from "I need space, beau," to "I've managed to get this guy I have a crush on to hang around me and watch my every move and spend all his time around me"

**Caleb:**....Oh.

**Beau:** yeah face it dude you got played

**Beau:** Jester: 2  
         Caleb: 0

 

Caleb stares at her texts, trying to rationalize his actions. There was just no way around it; he, Caleb Widogast, had played  _directly_ into Jester's hands.

 

**Beau:** I'm telling you, theres no hope of outmaneuvering her

**Beau:** force of nature

 

Molly, evidently tired of waiting for a response, has sent him another text.

 

**Molly:** hello????

**Molly:** earth to Caleb?

**Caleb:** I am here, ja.

**Molly:** texting with more important people I see

**Caleb:** Just Jester, playing mind games.

**Molly:** thats a mistake

**Molly:** if theres one thing I learned in our prank war its that if theres an obvious way out of one of her pranks its probably going according to plan

**Caleb:** That would have been really useful information to know before, Molly.

**Molly:** what? oh shit

**Molly:** have I been dragged into this now?

**Molly:** if she goes for the hair again this time its personal

**Caleb:** Do I even want to know?

**Molly:** prolly not

**Caleb:** I am not sure what her plan is for you. Perhaps you should avoid me today, just to be safe?

**Molly:** don't be ridiculous I'm not a monster, leaving you to the likes of Jester

**Molly:** we'll stick together all day. buddy system. watch each other's backs.

**Molly:** sound good?

 

Caleb grinds his teeth.

 

**Caleb:** Sounds _wunderbar_.

* * *

By the end of the day, Caleb is feeling a little bit better. He and Molly have been spending more time than usual together, but most of it has been conspiring on a counter-attack on Jester, who has not suddenly dropped some friendship-ruining experience on either one of them. They stop for lunch, and as they're about to head out, Yasha pulls Caleb aside. "Hey- uh, can I speak to you for a minute?"

" _Ja,_ certainly," Caleb says, worried. Has he done something to offend her? Is she angry that he and Beau slept in the same bed? That didn't seem like Yasha- she wasn't a jealous person.

"It's about Molly," Yasha begins uncertainly. "I think- I don't want to make you feel obligated to do something, but-"

"Jester," Molly says, having emerged from the van, "if you're going to cast disguise self, at least make sure whoever you're disguised as isn't already in the same area."

Jester sighs in frustration and lets the illusion drop. "It could have fooled Caleb," she mutters, kicking a rock. 

"Caleb had the good sense to get me to watch his back, though," Molly says.

"Oh nooooooo," sighs Jester, an unbelievable expression of smugness on her face,  "I guess you two have outsmarted me." She skips back into the van, humming.

" _Danke,"_ Caleb says, and Molly takes his arm.

"Don't mention it," he says, and walks Caleb back.

* * *

That night, camped out in yet another parking lot, Beau convinces them all to play truth or dare. It's pretty unremarkable; in general, people pick truth, and then refuse to answer. They bounce back and forth, getting more and more drunk. The sole exception to this is Molly, who picks dare every single time, and only drinks if the dares involve other people. Jester, Fjord, and Beau, realizing this, ask Molly every single time, until finally, he gives up.

"All right, Molly, truth or dare," Jester says, her consonants slurring into each other a little bit.

"Okay, fine, I'll go with truth," he says. "I don't think I could handle another dare." 

"Okay, have you ever been in love?"

"Pass," Molly says, and takes a drink.

Jester sighs in frustration. "You are making this really boring. The whole point is you say really embarrassing things, not you get super drunk in a parking lot because you refuse to answer a question."

"I like my way better," Molly says. "More alcohol, less talking."

"Why don't we quit while we're ahead," Fjord says, "or play something else, if you're really getting bored with this, Molly."

"Ooh!" Jester says brightly. "You know, if we're going with all the different sleepover games, there's one that we haven't tried?"

"And what's that, Jester," Fjord says, sounding dubious.

"Seven minutes in heaven," Jester says, and the reaction is.... mixed. Molly guffaws, Beau nods, shrugging. Fjord and Yasha look as confused as Caleb feels, and Nott mutters something inaudibly. 

"What is it?" Caleb finally asks suspiciously.

"It's like spin the bottle only even more fun!" Jester says, and that, that is what Caleb would call a warning sign.

"I think I have had enough festivities for tonight,  _ja,"_ he says, and stands. He is surprised when literally every other member of the Mighty Nein protests. "All right, fine, fine," he says, sitting down. "Somebody explain it properly."

The rules, as laid down by Jester, are simple. They spin the bottle, and whoever it lands on goes in the van with whoever spun it. They then do... well, whatever they want, but only for seven minutes.

"But usually you make out," Jester says sagely. "It's mostly a game about making out and all that stuff." She meets Caleb's eyes meaningfully. Caleb only smiles back. In order to fix the spin, she'll need Nott's mage hand, and Nott would never do something like that to Caleb.

Jester begins, and lands on Fjord. Caleb has no idea what they actually do, but they both come out looking perfectly calm and unflustered, save for the row of fresh hickies on Fjord's neck. Nott spins and lands on Jester. When they come back, Jester's horns are covered in rhinestones. Molly nods his approval of the extremely tacky look. Fjord spins and lands on Yasha. The other players are all smirking when they come out, both looking extremely awkward. If Caleb had to hazard a guess, they probably spent the entire time sitting in silence. Beau spins and lands on Molly. They're all discussing plans for the trip when, six and a half minutes in, the horn blares loudly, making them all jump. Molly and Beau leave, both laughing madly. Yasha spins and lands on Beau, by sheer good fortune this time, and when they exit, they are both extremely flushed and out of breath. Molly wolf-whistles.

"Come ooooooon, Caleb," Jester says, smiling brightly. "It's your turn."

Praying that he hasn't misjudged the situation, Caleb spins the bottle, and watches as it turns, slows, and then speeds up momentarily, landing on.... Nott?

They enter the van together, and Caleb finds he's able to relax, finally, without the watchful eyes of Jester or Molly on them. Nott has been his friend from the beginning, the only one he knew he could trust. They sit in silence for the first thirty seconds, and then Caleb speaks.

"I cannot help but notice, Nott," he says, "that you cheated to get alone with me here."

"That's true," Nott says, "but in my defense, Jester put me up to it."

Caleb frowns, worried. "Why does she want me to speak to you?"

"She doesn't," Nott confesses. "She wanted me to make sure the bottle pointed at Mollymauk."

"Did she explain why?"

Nott looks down and fiddles with her sleeve. "She showed me a screenshot of your texts," she says eventually. "Texts that said you had.... feelings for him."

"Ah." It's silent for a while.

"Do you?" Nott asked, after a while. "Have feelings for Mollymauk, I mean?"

"It's... hard to say," Caleb says, quietly. "I do care a great deal for him, but it is hard to, to know exactly what to do about it." When Nott stays silent, he continues, "We had- we have, I should say, a good friendship. He helped me a great deal when I was... well. You remember." 

"Do you love him?"

"Love is a strong word, I think," Caleb says, smiling a little. "I believe it could, and maybe will, become love over time."

"And what do you plan to do about it?"

"That's the complicated part," Caleb says slowly. "On one hand, there is, I will admit, a part of me, maybe a mad part of me, that wants to entrust my fate to Jester's hands, see where it leads us. Gods alone know how clever she is, how clever she has been, at pushing us together. And perhaps I want more of that. But there's a part of me, Nott, that is angry at her for constantly pushing, and pushing, and pushing, and maybe eventually pushing Molly apart from me. And-" he laughs, perhaps a little bitterly, "I do not believe that Molly feels the same about me. So it is difficult to say what there is to be done about it."

Nott hesitates, kicking her small legs.

"Caleb," she says, eventually, "you do transmutation, don't you?"

"I do,  _ja."_

"So you know," Nott says, still avoiding looking at him, "that sometimes, to obtain something of greater value, something must be lost."

"It isn't the same," Caleb says fiercely. "If I tell Mollymauk, and he does not reciprocate, I lose a friend."

"You did tell him that you killed your parents and a bunch of pretty innocent people," Nott points out. "I don't know that a crush is going to end your friendship forever or anything. He'd probably take it as a compliment, actually."

"Maybe so, but- I don't know that I want things to change, Nott. I was- I am content with what I had."

"I was content to hide in the shadows, once, Caleb," Nott says. "But we took a risk, and we stayed with these people, and we kept staying, and now we have friends, Caleb, and we play games, and help people, and win drinking contests sometimes, and it's  _better."_

"So what do you propose?" Caleb asks, half serious. "Run along with Jester's hair-brained schemes?"

"I think that Jester isn't going to fix this," Nott says. "Jester is just an agent for change. You have to do most of it yourself."

"It's been seven minutes guys!" Jester herself calls from outside the van. "Whatever you're doing in there, you have to stop!"

Nott slides off the chair. "Caleb?" Her gaze is searching. "Whatever happens, just remember that change always happens, and sometimes it's bad, and sometimes it's good, but digging in your heels and trying to fight it won't do anything." She smiles in a way that, somehow, despite the fangs, reminds him of his mother. "And for what it's worth, I think he's a good person."

Caleb nods and exits the van.

They settle back into the circle, and Molly spins. The bottle makes the circle once, twice, and slows almost to a stop at Yasha. But again, Caleb sees the bottle pick up speed almost imperceptibly before settling on himself.

"Caleb!" Molly says, and for a second he sounds nervous, looking at Jester. "Shall we?"

"I suppose," Caleb says, glaring daggers at Nott, who merely shrugs, smiling a little bit. Molly's hand, rough with calluses, wraps around his own, tugs.

"Come on," Molly says. "We only have seven minutes, after all."

It's different, being in the van alone with Molly. With Nott, he was calmer, relaxed. With Molly here, it feels like he's been dropped down the first hill of a rollercoaster, all panic and excitement and, if he were to be honest, happiness.

"So," Molly says, pulling him the the back row of seats. "What do you want to do?"

"What would you like to do, Mollymauk?" Caleb says.

"I have my own preferences," Molly says. "But I'd like to know what you want to do first."

"I will do whatever you wish to do, Molly, I don't have any real preferences."

"All right," Molly says patiently, "I know what you're  _willing_ to do, but I'd like to know what you  _want_ to do."

"It depends. What do you want to do?"

"Fine," Molly sighs, exasperatedly. "As I'm sure you heard Jester say, this is mostly a game about making people think you have done horrible, debauching things while they can't see you, which I, personally, am quite a fan of." 

"So you would like to do something in that vein?"

"Preferably," Molly says. "Unless you have any objections to kissing? You didn't seem to mind during spin the bottle. With me or with Jester."

"I have no objections to making out with you, no, Molly," Caleb says, trying to keep his voice steady, "Unless, of course, you do not want to kiss me, or if you have something else that you would rather do,"

Molly sighs, grinning anyway. "Seven minutes in heaven," he says, "and you waste two of them dithering." He leans forward and presses his lips to Caleb's, his hands cupping Caleb's face. It's, to put it loosely, nice, and Caleb leans into the kiss, acutely aware that he hasn't done this for approximately a decade, aside from the brief kisses during spin the bottle. He worries, momentarily, about what to do with his hands, and settles for gently putting them on Molly's shoulders, but that doesn't feel right, and after a brief moment of panic, he cups Molly's cheek in one and wraps the other around his waist. He's distracted from any further overthinking when Molly gently bites his lip, and he focuses on returning the favor. Caleb's mind has been active in the background, counting down the time, and when they get to thirty seconds, Caleb gets an idea and pulls away. Molly looks mildly disappointed. "Is it time?"

" _Nein_ ," Caleb says. "But if we hurry we can take our shirts off, and make them think we have done some  _truly_ terrible things to each other."

"I like the way you think," Molly says, already shrugging off his coat. Caleb separates all the way from Molly and yanks his own T-shirt off, and when he emerges, tossing it carefully behind the  seats, Molly is shirtless, too. They share a smile before Molly says, "Actually, it's funnier if they have to come in and get us." There's a part of Caleb that thinks,  _no, having Jester walk in on us making out is a terrible plan,_ but it's not a very big part, and terrible plans sound very good when he's tipsy, anyway. He allows Molly to pull him closer, press his mouth to Caleb's, and a minute and a half later, they hear Fjord's voice as he says, sounding uncomfortable, "Uh. Fellas? Seven minutes are up." Molly laughs a little bit into Caleb, and then they hear Fjord close the door again and say, muffled through the door, "Uh. I think they're busy."

They laugh properly then, separating and scrambling to put their shirts back on, and by the time Jester arrives, they're fully clothed, and Molly is on his phone, and Caleb is reading a book. Jester's face falls a little bit, and Caleb almost ruins the whole thing by laughing, but manages to pass it off as a cough. 

He sleeps in Molly's bed that night, not giving him or Jester any excuse, the two of them texting back and forth about the whole thing and giggling until Beau threatens to smother them. He falls asleep to Molly's unsteady breathing, tangled in his arms, and it is only as he loses consciousness that he realizes he hasn't thought about his anxiety about Molly all night.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> am I capable of writing chapters that don't bookend with characters waking up and falling asleep? the world may never know


	14. Rexxentrum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb Widowgast is just Chock Full Of Anxiety.

Caleb wakes up again in Mollymauk's arms and thinks,  _you know, I could get used to this._

And then he stops and corrects himself, because he _is_ getting used to this, having Mollymauk pressed against him, breathing softly.

He opens his eyes, only to find Molly still asleep. He's almost cute, like this, no mischief or dark humor, no wickedly hooked smile, not even a pained grimace. He looks soft, and sweet, and vulnerable.

And then Molly wakes up, and the illusion is ruined as his eyes crinkle and the smile slides onto his face.

"Perving on me while I'm asleep? Frankly, Caleb, I am scandalized."

Caleb blushes crimson and stammers a few soft apologies before Molly nudges him gently. 

"I'm just teasing, Caleb," he says, raising an eyebrow. "It's what I do, in case you haven't noticed."

"Oh," Caleb says lamely. "Well." To cover the pause, he reaches for his phone, catching up on everything he missed, which is, as it turns out, absolutely nothing. He instead finally responds to Jester's messages, which he studiously had ignored last night:

 

 **Jester:** you are so welcome caleb

 **Jester:** wait are you pulling a prank on fjord

 **Jester:** caleeeeeeeeeeeb

 **Jester:** Caleb Caleb Caleb caleb

 **Jester:** I know you are on your phone!!!!!!!!!

 **Caleb:** Guten Morgen, Jester.

 **Caleb:** Did you sleep well?

 **Jester:** yes I did but that is not relevant!

 **Jester:** give me the details Caleb I want to know what happened

 **Caleb:** Fine. If you must know, we kissed, but only to fuck with Fjord.

 **Jester:** ughhhhhhhhhhhh

 **Jester:** I give you the perfect opportunity to have fun with your future boyfriend and you only manage kissing?

 **Jester:** you'll have to do better than that 

 

His screen goes black and he swears loudly. Molly looks up from his own phone. "Trouble in paradise?"

"The stupid thing is dead," Caleb complains. "I forgot to plug it in last night." 

"The disadvantage of sharing my bed," Molly says, nodding. "One charger per person. Here," and he plucks the cord from his own phone and hands it to Caleb. "But," he continues, "you did get to spend yet another night with the prettiest tiefling in the world, so look on the bright side."

"Second prettiest!" Jester yells. Molly turns his head to stick his tongue out at her. Amused, Caleb nuzzles into his exposed neck, plants a kiss there, turns his head and plants a kiss on his collarbone for good measure, rests his head on Molly's chest, raising his head in alarm when he hears how fast Molly's heartbeat is. Molly blinks up at Caleb, smiling at him after a brief pause. 

"That was a mistake," he says. Caleb feels something in the pit of his stomach drop.

"Molly, I-"

"Because," Molly says, "Now I'm going to return in kind, and unlike me, you are very ticklish." He leans up and presses his lips to Caleb's neck, and Caleb twitches away, and then Molly laughs and tickles him in earnest under the sheets. Caleb, giggling helplessly, flails, kicks Molly, and manages to fall out of the bed in the process. He lies there, wiping away the moisture from his eyes and catching his breath, and meets Jester's eyes. She has a shit-eating grin, and winks at him, pulling out her phone. Caleb shudders to think what that means.

"You okay, darling?" Molly asks, poking his head over the side of the bed. 

"I have been betrayed for the last time, Mollymauk," Caleb says lazily. "You sleep alone tonight."

"Oof," Molly says, looking mildly disappointed. "Harsh." 

Fjord comes in, holding a box. "Donuts," he says, putting them on Caleb's vacant bed. He makes eye contact with Molly and winces, avoiding looking at Caleb. Molly doesn't pay any attention, though, and barely avoids stepping on Caleb as he dashes to the box, only a few seconds later than Jester. When Caleb can see what's happened, Molly is holding two chocolate-glazed doughnuts, and Jester holds another two, pink frosting with rainbow sprinkles. A jelly donut is crammed into her mouth, and she smiles victoriously around it. 

"Molly," Caleb says, too lazy to get up, "I will forgive you if you get me a toasted coconut donut."

Molly's hand dips into the box, and he pads over, dropping it onto Caleb's chest. "There you go," he says, theatrically sweet. "Now come back to bed, my darling."

" _Nein,"_ Caleb says. "That would take energy, and I have not had anything to eat yet today. I might faint."

Molly frowns, and then smiles, his eyes dancing with mischief.

"Well," he says, setting the donuts on the bed, "if that's the only problem," and he scoops Caleb up and dumps him on the bed. Caleb squawks in indignation, and Molly, ignoring him, picks his donuts back up and settles back onto the bed.

"You are surprisingly strong," Caleb says, when he's managed to recover from that experience.

 Molly says, "You need to eat more," still teasing, but with a serious undercurrent. "Too many nights spent reading alone instead of eating with your friends."

He's probably not entirely wrong. When Caleb is in his apartment, he subsists mostly on ramen, supplemented with the occasional slice of toast. If he didn't have dinner at Jester's and Yasha's twice a week, he would probably have scurvy by now.

"Fjord," Jester says, "I have a really good idea."

Caleb winces, but for once, it doesn't seem to be about him.

"Rexxentrum?" Fjord asks when she explains her request, running his hand through his hair. "I dunno, Jester, it's a little bit out of the way."

"We never do anything but sit in the van anymore though!" Jester complains. "Besides, I've never seen a really big city like Rexxentrum, and I've read about it in stories and it seems like it's really cool." 

"I do not know that you would like it, Jester," Caleb warns her. The idea of going back to Rexxentrum makes him a bit queasy. "It is very loud, and busy, and ugly, to be honest with you."

"I dunno," Beau says. "I think it's something everyone should see at least once."

It's clear, after a while, that he is outvoted. Jester is eager to go, Fjord is only annoyed that it'll delay them, and the others are at least mildly curious. He gives up, and leaves to get dressed. When he comes back, they're packing up. He looks hopefully at Molly, who shakes his head slightly. His spirits fall. 

* * *

Caleb's private opinion of Rexxentrum is that it is a shithole. True, there are many shiny buildings, many department stores, many lights flashing and people crowding in at every corner, but the joy of it has rubbed off for him. Now, as they enter Rexxentrum, he only really notices the huddled forms sleeping in doorways, the garbage blowing on the streets, the way that everything is grubby and dingy. 

They park in a lot near the main area of the city, which, naturally, charges them far more money than it's worth, and Jester skips out, practically races to the road, turns her head up to stare at the tops of the buildings. Caleb forgets, sometimes, that Jester is, despite her protestations, a fairly sheltered person. He files out after Molly, who smiles and takes his hand, pulling him after the others. They enter the shuffling crowd just as the smell hits him, familiar and unpleasant: soot, gas, garbage, stagnant water, the smell of hundreds of people herded together. It's almost enough to make him want to turn and run, but he follows along, trembling, desperate not to be the one member of the party to ruin the day. They enter the main plaza, and then it is too much- horns blaring, the sound of distant sirens, flickering and flashing billboards, the loud chatter of hundreds, maybe even thousands of people, bells ringing, people shouting over the din. He stops almost unwillingly, his hand slipping out of Molly's, trying to back up, instead stumbling into several more people, who shove him out of the way, pin balling into the barricade some thoughtful city planner put in place so that cars couldn't strike the constant flow of pedestrians. He catches his breath there, hesitant to dive back into that crowd of people, and, changing his mind, reaches into his pocket for his phone. He would tell them he was tired, perhaps, or that he was feeling ill, and they could have their day without him ruining it. His hands find nothing, and, feeling that rush of fear he only gets when something is not where he needs it to be, Caleb remembers that he plugged it in and did not take it out again. He stands on his tiptoes, looking for Molly, easily the most visible member of the party, and sees nothing. Only in Rexxentrum, Caleb thinks, feeling ill, could a purple tiefling wearing the most gaudy outfit imaginable and shiny jewelry not stand out. 

Taking a deep breath, he wades into the crowd. It carries him, almost unwillingly, along with it, a shifting, warm press of bodies all around him, and he can't bear it any more, it's all too much. He breaks away from the crowd, walks quickly along a quieter byway, picking up speed until he's almost running. People are staring at him, he's aware, but it's not until he's far, far away from everything that he stops, bent double, catches his breath, realizes: he has no fucking idea where he is. Unconsciously, he reaches for his phone again, but it's still not in his pocket. He glances around, takes in his surroundings. He's lucky; his panicked flight didn't take him near the worst parts of Rexxentrum, where he'd be easy pickings, or worse, to the Academy, where he'd be recognized. There's a bench, and Caleb sits on it, trying to visualize the route he took. It's useless; Rexxentrum is a maze even when he is paying attention, and Caleb wasn't. He chokes back bile, fighting nausea as he realizes: he's completely alone, lost in a city that holds some of his most painful memories and his most bitter enemies, and he has no way to contact his friends, nor do they have any way to contact him.

There's a strange feeling in his head, and Caleb, focusing, recognizes it as some kind of psychic magic. He panics for a second before Jester's voice settles into his brain, and he remembers one of her latest spells: Sending.

"Hey Caleb, so we can't find you and Molly is like, really worried about you, and you aren't answering your texts, so you should tell-" it cuts off. Caleb can't tell if Jester has forgotten the word limit or just hasn't planned her message well, but it's unimportant: as Nott would say, he can respond to the message. He does so, jogging to the nearest corner and reading off the names of the streets, not mentioning his status or why he's there. Ten minutes later, he feels a surge of relief as Mollymauk rounds the corner, his phone held to his ear. Molly visibly relaxes when he sees Caleb, too, and as he nears Caleb, his voice becomes audible.

"-no, he's not hurt, I don't think. I'll call you back." He hangs up as he stops in front of Caleb, eyeing him up and down. "You look horrible. Come on, we're going back to the van." He holds out his hand again, and Caleb takes it. It's bearable, walking back with Molly to anchor him. Molly stops only once, entering a small grocery shop and leaving with a plastic shopping bag. He doesn't elaborate on the contents, and Caleb doesn't ask. It's not until they're back at the van, Molly unlocking it with Jester's spare key, that he finally says something.

"Listen, Caleb, I'm... sorry," he says, which is not what Caleb expects. He stares blankly at Molly, who elaborates, "The academy is here, and you're already skittish in crowds on the best of days. I should have thought." 

" _Nein,_ " Caleb whispers. "I'm sorry for being such a fuck-up and ruining your day here."

"Nah, you were right," Molly says calmly. "This place is a shithole. A gaudy, noisy shithole, but a shithole nonetheless. I'd much rather spend the rest of the day with you."

"But-"

"There's no buts about it, sweetheart," Molly says. "I'm spending the rest of the day taking care of you to make up for being an inconsiderate-" he pauses, and finishes the sentence with, "-friend," although Caleb suspects that is not what he was originally going to say. Puzzling, since Molly nearly never censors himself. 

"I do not need-" Caleb begins, and Molly cuts him off.

"First of all, bullshit. Second of all, I enjoy doing this kind of thing. In case you haven't noticed, taking care of people is kind of my kink. Makes me feel useful and wanted."

Caleb wants to protest, but truth to be told, he's tired, and right now, being taken care of sounds good, and if Molly is willing to, he certainly isn't going to object.

They're some of the best hours he's had. Molly holds him, and cuddles him, and feeds him chunks of fruit from the fruit salad he bought, and plays the entirety of the Wicked soundtrack for him, filling in the gaps the song leaves along the way. He's gentle and soft, and Caleb realizes with a sinking feeling that  _Scheisse, I may be in love with this man._ He presses that thought down, saving it for later, and falls asleep somewhere along the way.

When he wakes up, they're moving again, and he's been buckled into his seat, his head resting on Molly's shoulder, and he feels the comforting weight of Molly's arm around him. He blinks blearily down at a rectangle of light, which he recognizes as Molly's phone a minute too late to avoid seeing Molly's texts.

 

 **Fjord:** Look, this is a problem you gotta solve on your own, Molly.

 **Molly:** you are my least favorite party member

 

It feels like an intrusion of privacy, but it's burned into his perfect memory, now, bothering him. Molly has some problem that he isn't telling him, and he is telling Fjord, and that stings. He's quiet for the rest of the ride, and despite sleeping in Molly's bed again, sleep does not come easily that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Caleb widowgast: bad at context clues


	15. The Origin of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb gets a piercing. Molly isn't a fan.

Caleb tosses and turns all night. He slips into his usual nightmare three times, woken nearly immediately by Molly nudging him. After the second time, Caleb attempts to climb over him, whispering, "You need your rest too, Molly," but Molly only sleepily pulls him back down and mumbles, "Go back to sleep, darling." Caleb would be lying if he said he wasn't a little bit relieved by that, and when Molly wakes him again the third time, he only whispers, " _Danke,_ Mollymauk," and kisses his forehead in thanks. He sleeps soundly, after that, waking to find the bed empty. He checks his messages, and is relieved to find one from Molly.

 

 **Molly:** sorry if you wake up while I'm gone btw

 **Molly:** going on a coffee run w/ the others and didn't want to wake you up after you slept so badly last night

 **Molly:** but don't worry we left you with Fjord and a little psychotic goblin girl

 **Molly:** oh also jester wants to know if you want a sausage roll

 **Molly:** wait no nvm

 **Molly:** it was just a penis innuendo no need to respond

 **Molly:** I told her you would love one

 

Caleb rolls his eyes, smiling in spite of himself. He puts his phone back down and stretches, and Fjord, typing something on his laptop, looks up. 

"Mornin', Caleb."

" _Guten Morgen,_ Fjord. Where is Nott?"

"She saw a few rats hanging around outside," Fjord says, wincing. 

"Ah," Caleb says. "I see." 

He plays with his phone for a minute, telling himself that it would be an unbreakable breach of privacy to interrogate Fjord based on a conversation he shouldn't even have seen. Not only was it petty, it was downright rude, and....

"Fjord, have you noticed anything wrong with Mollymauk?"

Fjord jumps slightly, and for a moment, Caleb sees alarm in his eyes, before Fjord manages to pull himself together. "You know, Caleb, I can't say that I have. Why? Something up?"

" _Nein,_ it just seems like there is something that he is not telling me," Caleb says, swallowing back his guilt.

"Well, Caleb, you spend an awful lot more time with him than me. Hell, you're even in his bed half the time. You two are getting awfully close, aren't you?"

"We are good friends," Caleb says quietly, averting his gaze.

"You sure there isn't more to it than friendship?" Fjord asks.

Caleb's heart nearly stops. If  _one more member of the Mighty Nein_ finds out about his unfortunate feelings for Mollymauk, he might scream. He uses the only option available: denying it, vigorously.

"If you are referring to the fact that he and I are both into men," he says coolly, "it is- frankly, Fjord, it is hurtful that you believe me to be in love merely based on the fact that we are close. I do care for Molly, but only as I care for you, or Jester, or Nott. Am I not allowed a friend without it being assumed that we are, we are together, or in a relationship, or whatever it is that you are implying?"

Fjord backtracks. "I apologize, Caleb," he says, his accent more pronounced. "That's not what I meant, it's just that, well, you know Molly, he flirts so much, and it's really just hard to tell."  He quickly picks up his phone and begins to type rapidly, and Caleb breathes an internal sigh of relief. Fjord, hopefully, will be so embarrassed by this that he doesn't pry further. 

The others arrive a little later, bearing coffee and a box of pastries. Molly, immediately upon arrival, presents Caleb with the sausage roll, bowing elaborately and proclaiming, "Your wiener, sir." It's infantile and ridiculous, but Caleb can't help but laugh, because it's Molly doing what he does best; the charm, the flirting, the innuendo, all performed for the benefit of the audience. Jester nearly falls over laughing, and has only barely recovered when Caleb, straight-faced, slowly takes a bite out of the end of it, not breaking eye contact with Molly, and the van explodes with laughter again. They could make a routine out of this, he thinks, chewing: Molly as the comic joker, and Caleb as the straight man.  _Not, of course,_ he thinks wryly,  _that I can pretend to be a straight man around Molly for long._ It's funny enough that he snorts, and wishes he could share the joke with Molly. 

They haven't been driving for too long when Caleb gets an uneasy sensation that he can't quite place. He glances out the window, looking around, and sees nothing but the cars surrounding them. He looks at one of them, a grey-blue minivan, and jumps slightly when he notices that the man in the passenger seat is looking directly at him. The man and Caleb both avert their eyes at the same time, but Caleb feels uncomfortable at this sudden random connection.

"Everything all right?" Molly asks, and Caleb looks out the window again, but the minivan has dropped back.

" _Ja,"_ he says, turning back to Molly. "Just was unsettled, for a second."

Molly smiles, pulling out an earbud and offering it to him. "Want to take your mind off it?"

Caleb takes the earbud, giving it a cursory wipe on his shirt before putting it in. He grimaces. "What is this  _Scheisse?"_

"It's Lady Gaga, and I'm offended," Molly says, "but we can skip it if it's unsuitable to your delicate sensibilities." He skips the song without waiting for Caleb's retort.

"And what is this?" Caleb asks, as a quiet melody begins to build in his ear.

"It's 'The Origin of Love,'" Molly says. "From another musical. Hedwig and the Angry Inch."

"Sounds strange," Caleb says.

"It is," Molly begins, and then shuts up as the vocals begin.

It's not a bad song, Caleb thinks, allowing his thoughts to wander. He finds himself enjoying it despite his reservations, watching Molly mouthing along. He can't quite make out all the lyrics, but it's an adaptation of some story accounting for love; humans used to have two sets of each body part, before the gods became scared and cut each into two people, who seek each other out, seeking to make themselves whole again. It's not quite how he feels about Molly; he feels perfectly whole on his own, it's more that when Molly is with him he feels  _more_ than whole. He glances out of the window and freezes. The minivan is back, and the passenger is staring at them again. It's too much of a coincidence to be coincidental, and he takes his earbud back out, leaning forward.

"Fjord," he begins, but Fjord cuts him off.

"The minivan? Yeah, Nott and I were just talking about that."

"Wait, what minivan?" Beau asks, turning to look out the window.

"Fuckers have been all but tailgating us since we passed through that little town a few hours ago," Fjord says curtly.

"I don't know if this is obvious to everyone else," Caleb says, "but they have been staring at us the whole time."

Beau swears, reaching under her seat to pull out her staff. Molly takes out his earbuds, gnawing on his lower lip. Caleb hears the quiet click as Nott picks up her crossbow.

"Fjord," Molly says, leaning forward, "don't signal, but get ready to pull off at that exit when I give the signal."

Fjord's face, in the mirror, is confused, but he obeys, switching into the lane next to the exit. They're only about fifteen feet from it when Molly calls, " _Now!"_ and Fjord swerves onto the exit. Caleb turns to see the minivan weaving erratically, not following them onto the exit ramp. The passenger is pounding on the dash in fury, and Caleb, turning back to Molly, notices blood trickling from one of the red eyes on his neck. He automatically wipes it away with his sleeve.

"Have we lost 'em?" Beau asks, craning her neck.

" _Nein,"_ Caleb says automatically. "The passenger has seen where we went. I think, Fjord, you are going to have to turn into the town, make them think that we continued through, when instead, we stop."

Fjord nods, and takes a winding route through the town, pulling into a dead-end alley. He twists the key and the engine silences. They all sit for a moment before Fjord says, "We should get out. If they do find us, best not to be trapped in a metal box," and there's a murmur of agreement, and then everyone is filing out, grabbing weapons, discussing tactics. Jester argues that stealth is useless considering that the van can't be hidden, while Nott points out that maybe if they hide in the shadows the people that pursue them might come investigate the "abandoned" van, making them easy pickings. Molly tells them to shut up while drawing one of his swords over his chest, leaving a bloody scratch there, and Caleb winces and looks away, which is the only reason he sees the arrow hurtling towards him and is able to avoid it.

It's a vicious fight. Caleb, pressed against the wall of the alley in the shadows, manages to pin down three of the attackers with his cat's paw, and is feeling pretty good about this when another man materializes out of thin air, a scroll crumbling to dust in one hand, and gives Caleb a very unfriendly smile before jabbing towards him with a spear. Caleb dodges, but not quickly enough, and his vision goes white with pain as he feels the spear impale through his side, pinning him to the wall. He blindly casts magic missile, and is rewarded by the sound of two missiles striking his attacker. He forces himself to stay conscious as the world goes a little bit green and slides a little bit, and blinking, he sees the man lying on the ground, struggling to get up. Caleb fumbles in his components pouch, pulls out a diamond, and hits his assailant with chromatic orb. The man goes still.

Caleb looks down, biting down nausea as he sees the spear sticking  _through_ his flesh, and makes the executive decision that he will be remaining here for the fight. Even if pulling the spear out doesn't make him pass out, he'll be dead within minutes from blood loss. He looks up, gathers the ragged fragments of his concentration again, and catches the rest of the attackers- seven including the one he's knocked out- in his cat's paw. It takes all his concentration not to drop the spell, and when the paw is no longer holding any bandits, he looks up to see Fjord materialize and stab the last bandit through the chest. He almost sags in relief before catching himself.

"We did it!" Jester cheers, high fiving her double. 

"Hurrah," Caleb says weakly. "Jester, if you don't mind, some healing right now would be greatly appreciated."

She turns towards him, and her eyes widen as she sees his predicament. "Oh,  _shit!"_ She comes towards him at the trot, and Caleb hears a collective murmur of sympathy and concern as the others see him too.

"Okay," she says, after examining the wound carefully. "I can probably heal this all back to normal, but someone needs to remove the spear first, so I can heal him immediately."

"Yasha," Molly says, and Caleb turns to see him hovering to Caleb's right, looking somewhere between terrified and exhausted. The wound on his chest is still bleeding slightly, and Caleb, a little dizzy from shock and blood loss, has to stop himself from reaching out to touch it. "She's the strongest, it'll probably be faster." 

Caleb, remembering how much pain the spear caused going  _in,_ is not particularly excited about the process of it going  _out,_ and he is about to ask Yasha, who is bracing herself against the wall, to warn him when she is about to do it when she does it, causing him to double over in agony. The pain quickly fades as Jester works her spell, though, and he feels hands catch him as he falls, preventing him from bashing his skull open on the paved road. He looks up, only a little surprised to see it's Molly, who helps him to his feet. 

"There," Molly says, and he looks less terrified, though no less exhausted. "And I hope next time, you'll speak to us before getting any inadvisable piercings." 

They all laugh at that, tired as they are, and then Beau, leaning on her staff, asks, "Who are these guys, anyway, and why were they following us?"

Nott, halfway through looting the corpses, tosses something at her. Beau catches it automatically and sighs. "Oh, shit. We gotta tell Cali."

They gather around her, curious, and she shows them the amulet. It's the sign of Tiamet, Caleb knows, but he doesn't understand the rest.

"Excuse me," he says, "not to be any more of a unhelpful party member than I was just now, but what is happening?"

Jester, dialing someone on her phone, steps away, and Fjord asks, "Remember, Tiamet is- oh. You weren't there for that. See, Cali is going on some weird quest to find a bowl that belonged to this cult of Tiamet to destroy it, and she wanted us to bring the van along so she'd have somewhere to stay while she travelled around looking for somewhere to destroy the bowl."

"Ah," Caleb says, feeling out of the loop. "So these people are-"

"Probably local cultists, yeah," Beau says. "Probably did some weird shit to track the van- looking for traces of Cali or something. She did touch the van."

"So," Nott says, returning to the group, "Not to be a spoilsport or anything, but how are we going to avoid being implicated for the murder of like seven people? I think we should skip this place before anyone comes around."

Molly nods. "Good plan. Put some of their amulets back." When Nott frowns, Molly shrugs, a bitter smile on his lips. "If the Crownsguard know that they worshipped a forbidden god, they won't look particularly hard for the killers." Nott nods and scurries back to the corpses.

Jester returns to their group, putting her phone back in her dress pocket. "Okay guys, so Cali says first of all to say hi, and that she's super glad that we were all here to prevent them from stealing the van and ambushing her or leaving her stranded, and also she says that she still hasn't found the bowl, so we've still got time if we want to look at things on the road. Also she wanted to know if we gave the van a cool name like the mystery machine and I said we did but that it's a surprise, so now we have to think of a really cool one before we get there."

"That sounds good," Caleb says, "but I propose we do that once we are back in the van and driving."

They all breathe a sigh of relief once they're out of the town, free and clear. Caleb, looking down at the blood-soaked hole in his shirt, can't help but lift it up, just to make sure he's intact again. He's completely healed, only a faint red mark on the skin denoting where he was stabbed. Molly's hand covers his, draws his shirt back down, and Caleb turns to see him smiling tiredly. "Relax," he murmurs, "Jester may be a pain sometimes, but I've never met a more competent healer."

"Have you even met any other healers?"

Molly considers this. "No," he admits, "but she works better than Advil and hoping whatever it is goes away fast." This reminds Caleb of Molly's own injury, and he gently draws Molly's shirt collar aside for a better look. Molly jumps as if Caleb has electrocuted him, and Caleb draws back.

"I'm sorry," he says quietly. "I just wanted to take a look."

"It's not bad," Molly says. "I don't need a lot of blood to activate my swords."

Caleb is struck by an idea. "Yasha," he calls forward, "Can you do that thing with your hands on Molly?" 

Beau whirls. "Can she do  _what,_ " she says, sounding offended, before Yasha reaches for Molly with hands that glow white, and the cut on his chest knits closed. "Oh. That thing with her hands."

Molly snorts, and Jester, in the front seat, clears her throat, annoyed.

"All of you please shut up so we can discuss the van name," she says. "Were you guys even listening to all my suggestions?"

"Of course we were, Jester," Caleb says quickly. "I really liked the, the uh, the second one."

"Me too," Beau says. "Very... cool?"

"Truly, the second one was a masterpiece," Molly says, and Caleb can tell he's struggling not to laugh.

"You guys really like it?" Jester asks, and they all nod. "All right!" she says, turning back. "Van-ticore it is!"

Caleb, Beau, and Molly all make horrified eye contact, and Beau pulls out her phone. The rest follow suit.

 

**Beau added Caleb, Molly, Fjord, Yasha, and Nott to the group "van name disaster"**

**Beau:** ok none of us are ever calling it that

 **Beau:** we all in agreement?

 **Caleb:** Ja.

 **Nott:** didn't u all say u liked it

 **Molly:** we were bullshitting nott we weren't listening we didn't know it would be this bad

 **Molly:** just agree not to ever say it like the rest of us

 **Nott:** oh ok no I am never saying vanticore out loud

 **Yasha:** I don't think it's that bad but all right

 **Beau:** cool

 **Beau:** Fjord?

 **Beau:** oh right he's driving

 **Beau:** good talk good talk meeting adjourned

 

They stop by a vacant campsite to wash the blood off their hands and weapons at the pump. Caleb, whose shirt is getting crusty with dried blood, rinses as much of his own blood off and out of his skin and clothes as possible, and catches Molly staring at the pinkish water spreading along the pavement, and says, just loud enough to be heard, "Mollymauk, I am fine."

He starts and looks up at Caleb, nodding. "But what about next time?" he asks. "I should have been there watching your back."

"Don't be ridiculous," Caleb says. "The man was invisible, you would hardly have made a difference."

Molly shrugs. "In any case, I'll be there next time, Caleb. Just remember that." He walks up as if to hug Caleb, looks at his sopping clothes, and changes his mind, leaning in to press a kiss to Caleb's forehead before walking away again. Caleb shakes his head and resumes scrubbing.

They decide to call it a day and just stay at the campsite. All of them are recovering from the adrenaline of the battle, and both Caleb and Jester nap for most of the day, recovering from the injury and the healing, respectively. When they're done, they finish the last of the sandwich elements in the fridge, and all of them sit on stools next to a fire pit, which Caleb reluctantly lights at Jester's request. They keep a bucket of water handy, just in case.

They don't play any games that night. Jester suggests two truths and a lie, but it's obvious that nobody is in the mood for that. They talk quietly for a few hours before dousing the fire and settling down for the night. Molly falls asleep almost immediately, but Caleb stays up, googling the cult that Jester had mentioned. There's not much- a few news articles, one from the current day. Caleb opens that one and scans it. It mentions that seven suspected members of the Cult of the Caustic Heart were found dead, suspected to be killed by "gang violence." There's no mention of any current investigation, and Caleb breathes a sigh of relief. He's plugging in his phone when he hears a soft groan from the form next to him. Molly is twitching in his sleep, and as Caleb watches, attempting to tell what's going on, Molly whispers " _Caleb,"_ and moves violently, almost displacing himself from the bed. Caleb grabs him, and for a moment is tempted to wait, to see what else Molly says, but Molly is obviously in distress, and has performed this favor for Caleb multiple times. Caleb shakes him softly, whispering, "Mollymauk, Mollymauk, it's all right, it's just a dream," and Molly rouses nearly immediately. He blinks up at Caleb for a second, and then his hands reach up and pull Caleb down, and he's kissing him roughly, pulling Caleb close, and all Caleb has time to think is,  _well, this is odd, but... pleasant,_ before Molly pushes him away, leaving Caleb to blink at him, bewildered.

"I'm sorry," Molly whispers. "I dreamed you were dead, and then you woke me up and were looking down at me, and I was relieved, and, well..." he pushes his hair from his face, looking embarrassed. "I express things in weird ways, sometimes. I'm sorry, do you want to switch beds? I can't promise it won't happen again."

" _Nein,_ Molly, it is fine, I..." Caleb trails off, realizing  _I enjoyed it_ would be an odd thing to say in this situation, so he settles for, "I do not mind."

"Are you sure?"

"We have kissed before, Molly, you know I don't assume it means anything about your feelings," Caleb says as reassuringly as possible. It doesn't seem to work though, as Molly looks even more stressed before closing his eyes and taking a few deep breaths. When he opens his eyes, he looks calmer, and Caleb can't tell if he is or if this is another facade Molly is putting on for his sake.

"Right," Molly says, blinking. "Okay. I'm going back to sleep." He settles back down, and Caleb pulls himself down next to him, relaxing as the tiefling lays a tentative arm around him. Whether it's the comforting warmth of Molly at his back or the aftereffects of the stress of the day, Caleb is asleep almost immediately, unaware that Molly lies awake for a long time after that.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: Molly's internal monologue? it's all screaming. you heard it here first folks.


	16. Truths and Half-truths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All may not be as Caleb thinks.

When Caleb wakes up, he is almost uncomfortably close to Mollymauk. His face is buried in Molly's chest, their legs are tangled together. He is lying almost half on top of Molly, who has one arm tight around Caleb's waist. Molly's other hand is in Caleb's hair, gently stroking and playing with it. It is, to put it mildly, very nice, and Caleb is almost tempted just to stay that way. But it is the morning, and having had one close call with Fjord discovering his attraction to Molly, he doesn't want him- or, gods forbid,  _Yasha_ \- to suspect any more. Molly's arm loosens as he feels Caleb's resistance, and Caleb slides off of Molly as much as possible, propping himself up on his elbows. 

" _Guten Morgen,_ Mollymauk," he says, his voice crackling. He clears his throat, then asks, "How did you sleep? Any more dreams?"

Molly goes as if to tuck Caleb's hair behind his ear, then seems to think better of it. "Only once," he says quietly. "And when I woke up, you were still there, which honestly is more than I expected after..." he trails off, and Caleb blushes, remembering Molly's earlier indiscretion. "Anyway, that's why I was so.... clingy, this morning. Hope you didn't mind."

Caleb shakes his head. "Think nothing of it," he says, and leaves to go get dressed before he can say anything stupid about last night. They all breakfast and get ready for the day in what would probably be comfortable silence except for Molly and Caleb studiously avoiding each other's gazes. When they settle into their seats, Beau and Yasha sit in the back without even asking, allowing Molly and Caleb some space. It's a bit of a relief. His phone buzzes almost simultaneously with texts from Jester, Nott, and Beau.

 

 **Nott:** u 2 are acting awfully weird caleb

 **Nott:** did something happen between u

 **Caleb:** Nein, nothing weird has happened at all.

 **Nott:**.....right

 **Nott:** just remember what I said about change 

 

Caleb ignores this and moves on.

 

 **Beau:** so. uh. something up between you and Molly?

 **Caleb:** I do not know what you are talking about.

 **Beau:** dude normally you guys are all over each other in the morning it's gross

 **Beau:** did you really think nobody noticed that you guys were avoiding each other

 **Caleb:** It's nothing!

 **Caleb:** Okay, that is a lie. Something awkward happened last night because he had a dream about me, and we still haven't really worked it out.

 **Beau:** oh my gods that is the grossest thing I have ever heard

 **Caleb:** It's not that bad, there's no need to make that face, Beauregard.

 **Beau:** well excuse me for not wanting to hear about molly's wet dreams at nine in the fuckin morning

 **Caleb:** OH, YOU THOUGHT I WAS TALKING ABOUT

 **Caleb:** Nein, Beau, nothing like that. 

 **Beau:** then why tf are you acting so awkward around each other

 **Caleb:** Because he dreamed I was dead and was so relieved when I woke up that he kissed me.

 **Beau:** hell yeah get some widowgast

 **Caleb:** Beau, this is serious!

 **Beau:** look sometimes shit happens

 **Beau:** Imo it's not a fuckin big deal, my guy

 **Beau:** and I'm sure it isn't one to Molly either so no wonder he looks so hurt

 

Caleb glances over at Molly. It's hard to see his face, as he's intently texting with Yasha, but Caleb has to admit that Molly probably doesn't consider making out with him a big deal, and might be offended at Caleb's sudden silence. He turns to Jester's texts.

 

 **Jester:** what did you do????

 **Caleb:** Honestly, Jester, nothing.

 **Jester:** you guys were doing so well and now you're back to not even sitting next to each other and I have to sit next to Beau

 **Jester:** fix it

 

Coincidentally, a text from Molly appears, and Caleb immediately ditches Jester.

 

 **Molly:** look were gonna have to talk about the elephant in the room eventually

 **Molly:** I kissed you last night and now you're avoiding me

 **Molly:** but I told you you could switch beds if you needed to and you didn't so honestly I'm just confused about why you're playing with my feelings like this caleb

 **Caleb:** It is not about the kiss, Mollymauk.

 **Molly:** is it about waking up that close to me this morning?

 **Molly:** help me out here Caleb

 

Caleb bites his lip nervously before deciding that honesty may be the best policy.

 

 **Caleb:** If we are being honest, it is about the kiss, but it's not that I disliked it. I very much enjoyed it, and I didn't want to make you feel awkward about it, so I figured best to let the matter die down.

 **Molly:** yes Caleb I'm the one in the party who feels awkward about mutual physical pleasure

 **Molly:** honestly if you really did enjoy it, it is a repeatable event

 **Molly:** and even at times other than three am

 **Molly:** wow I didn't know humans could turn that shade of red

 **Caleb:** I don't know that that is a good idea, Mollymauk. Not that I don't find it attractive.

 **Caleb:** We are friends, we travel together, and I don't want things to be awkward between us.

 **Molly:** look it's 100% your choice and I get it if you don't want to but I personally would enjoy it very much and I don't think it would ruin our friendship

 

Caleb gives up. He's only human, and if Mollymauk won't consider it to be anything more than friendship...

 

 **Caleb:** Ja, then, why not.

 

He turns off his phone, not wanting to see a teasing reply from Molly. Molly puts away his phone too when he sees this, and reaches a hand across the aisle. Caleb takes it, and it's like the past few hours of awkwardness disappear with the touch, and the atmosphere in the van eases somewhat. 

"So, Jester," Molly says, turning around, "what was it that you wanted to play last night? Two truths and a lie? Why not now?"

Everyone has grown so used to playing these games that there's hardly any pushback on the idea, and Jester starts, as per the usual.

"Okay okay okay, so... I'm lactose intolerant, my favorite color is pink, and one time I hid and watched my mom with one of her clients."

There's a moment where they all digest this, and Fjord says, "Uh. I know which one I  _want_ to be a lie, but Jester, you know we've all seen you drink milk, right?"

"Oh," Jester says, "You're right."

"You watched your mom-" Beau says, seeming unable to finish her sentence.

"I didn't watch for long," Jester says, rolling her eyes. "Not for the, you know," and she hums slightly. "Just for the part where she seduced him, 'cause I wanted to know how to flirt."

"Understandable, but still a little creepy," Molly says. "Nott, you next."

"All right, if you say so," Nott says. "My deepest wish is to not be a goblin, I think I might have eaten part of a baby once, and I once tortured a halfling for fun."

"Those are all pretty fucked up, Nott," Beau says. "I'm going to go with the baby?"

"Nope!" Nott says, smiling a little bit sheepishly. "To be fair, I wasn't aware it was baby at the time."

"So it's the halfling, then," Caleb says.

"Yes," Nott says. "I did torture him, but not for fun. And that's why I don't live with the goblins anymore!"

It's a little bit fucked up, hearing Nott's backstory in bits and pieces like this, but they all know that Nott doesn't want to be pressed, so they move on to Fjord.

"I was born without tusks, I realized that I'm bisexual the other day, my warlock patron made me eat a sword in my dreams the other day," Fjord rattles out, obviously nervous, and Jester immediately guesses, "The tusks?"

Fjord nods, and Beau says from the back, "Hey, man, congrats on coming out, though."

"What I want to know," Molly muses, "is why your warlock patron is into vore."

"Aaaand that's enough of that," Fjord says. "Molly, you're up."

"I've done hard drugs, I'm afraid of spiders, and I approve of Beau dating Yasha," Molly says.

"You don't approve of me," Beau says immediately.

"No," Molly sighs, "tragically you make her very happy, so I don't actually have any reservations about that. No, I'm just fine with spiders. Yasha?"

Caleb barely listens during Yasha and Beau's turns. He's too busy trying to figure out what he's going to say. It would be so, so easy to just include  _I'm not in love with Mollymauk_ as the lie, say it without really saying it. It would be easy, too, to say  _I have feelings for someone in the party,_ but it wasn't like that wasn't just as revealing.

"Caleb," Molly says, nudging him. "Your turn." Caleb makes a split-second decision.

" _Ja,_ ah... I think of Nott as a little sister, I do not know how to whistle, and I have not had romantic feelings for anyone since the death of my parents." Hopefully, subtle enough that Molly won't notice if he really only does care about him as a friend, but obvious enough that Molly will notice if....

Even mentally, Caleb can't finish that sentence.

"You do know how to whistle?" Molly says, sounding almost hopeful.  _What in the Archeart's name does that mean? That he's hopeful that I do have romantic feelings for someone, or that he's hoping I do know how to whistle because the alternative is that I might have feelings for him?_

"Don't be silly, Molly, I know that Caleb has a crush on someone because he told me," Jester says, and at that moment, Caleb could have killed her.

"Who?" Molly asks, looking between them. Caleb answers before Jester can give the answer away.

"Someone who lives in Zadash, I don't think I've ever introduced you," he says, and it's not technically a lie.

"Lucky man," Molly says, and then, shaking his head, says, "Or woman, I suppose. We've all gone around once, is the game done?" He puts in his earbuds without waiting for an answer. The atmosphere in the van is strikingly awkward again, and Beau immediately pulls out her phone, typing violently. Caleb's phone buzzes.

 

 **Beau:** dude ask him out already he's into you for sure

 **Beau:** that was like, textbook jealousy

 **Caleb:** Why would he be jealous?

 **Beau:** oh my gods I can't deal with this 

 **Beau:** you know what you're on your own here if you can't figure it out I can't help you

 

Caleb glances over at Molly, who is studiously looking out the window, and back at his phone. Forcing himself to push down the tiny flame of hope that had appeared for a second. Molly enjoyed his company, yes, his affection and even, perhaps, his kisses, but there was no possible way someone like Molly would want someone like Caleb, a greasy trash wizard with so much blood on his hands.

* * *

That night, they're lying in bed together, and Caleb is half asleep when he hears Molly whisper, "Caleb, are you still awake?"

" _Ja,"_ he whispers back.

"I'm going to kiss you now," Molly warns, and when Caleb doesn't protest or pull away, Molly kisses him roughly, tangling one hand in Caleb's hair almost painfully and dragging his teeth over Caleb's lower lip. It's  _very good,_ and Caleb reaches out and places a hand on the nape of Molly's neck, attempting to pull him even closer. They stay like that for a while, longer than Caleb remembers ever kissing anyone, and he's starting to get less self-conscious about his lack of experience when Molly pulls away, suddenly.

" _Was ist los?"_ Caleb asks, and then realizing he's spoken in Zemnian, he whispers instead, "Have I done something wrong? Mollymauk-"

"No," Molly says, breathing a little unevenly. "No, my darling, you've done everything very right, but unless you're prepared to go further in a van full of our sleeping roommates, we should stop for the night."

"Ah," Caleb says, realizing what Molly means. " _Nein,_ you are probably right."

"I enjoyed that," Molly whispers. "Thank you."

"I did as well," Caleb whispers, and he thinks that is that, and is half asleep again when Molly whispers, "Is it a man? The one you have a crush on?"

" _Ja,"_ Caleb murmurs sleepily.

"Do you think he can kiss you as well as I do?"

Caleb pats Molly's cheek sleepily. "Enough teasing, Molly, I need sleep."

"I'm serious," Molly says. "What can he do that I can't?"

"What?"

"I'm just curious," Molly says.

"Does it matter?"

"Yes," Molly says. "You deserve someone who cares about you as much as I do, Caleb, and if you've fallen for someone who doesn't deserve you-" he breaks off. "You know what? It's none of my business. Forget I said anything. Goodnight, Caleb."

Caleb has a lot to think about in the morning, but right now, he needs sleep. " _Guten Nacht,_ _liebling."_ The pet name slips out without him meaning to, but he doesn't have time to worry before he's fast asleep, head pressed to Molly's chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should have tagged this as a slow fucking burn bc even I'm astounded at how long it's taking these assholes to get together


	17. It's All Happening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things come to a head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no not that kind of head get your mind out of the gutter

Molly is silent when they wake up, silent as they dress and pack. He responds to everyone's questions with monosyllables, so unlike his normal self that Caleb is almost tempted to ask Jester to check for a head injury. He doesn't press it, though. Molly obviously needs space right now, and truthfully, Caleb is still trying to wrap his mind around what happened last night. Molly had been odd in a way that Caleb doesn't have the vocabulary to describe- overprotective, maybe? He mulls over it as they speed down the road.

Jester convinces them all to have another picnic lunch, so they stop in a small town supermarket, grabbing cold pasta salad, meat pies to share, and chips and dip. Caleb walks with Molly, not quite sure if he should be approaching Molly or not. He takes Molly's hand, trying to convey through that gesture that he's here for him, and Molly squeezes it absentmindedly but doesn't say anything.

It's not until they've reached their picnic spot, a small park, that Molly seems to reach a decision and says quietly to Caleb, "Can I talk to you for a second? Away from the others?"

"Absolutely,  _ja,"_ Caleb says, relieved that Molly is confiding in him, whatever it is. They walk far enough away that they're still in sight- just in case of another ambush- but that they can talk quietly without being overheard. Truth to be told, Caleb doesn't know that they've even noticed-they're all talking, laughing, setting out the food. The only one who seems to notice is Nott, who makes eye contact with Caleb and nods slightly. 

Molly takes a deep breath, and Caleb turns his attention back to him. "So," Molly begins, "I want to start out by apologizing for what I said last night."

"You do not need to-" Caleb begins, and Molly cuts him off.

"Caleb, please don't," he says, and Caleb shuts up. "I'm trying to be genuine here, you know it's hard for me." One corner of his mouth curls up into a wry smile. "Anyway, the point is that it was way out of line for me to- to interrogate you, compare myself to whoever it is you're interested in. It's not your fault," he says quickly, noticing Caleb about to speak. "It's all my fault, because I was jealous. I know you probably have figured it out by now, but I- I like you, Caleb, romantically, very much so, and-" and presumably he keeps talking, but Caleb is so in shock that he tunes out, for a second. 

"You-" he begins, and then stops. "Molly, you- what?"

Molly sighs. "I don't want this to be a big deal," he says, "I really do like being friends with you, it just seems- dishonest to not tell you at this point. I don't know, there was a part of me that thought that if we started to be more physical, with the kissing and everything, you would fall for me too, and- Caleb, please say something." 

"I," Caleb says, his voice rising, "am the absolute  _STUPIDEST WIZARD."_ He sees the others stop, look over at them, and drops his voice. "Mollymauk," he says, trying to keep his voice level. "How long have you felt this way?"

"Since spin the bottle," Molly says, raking a hand through his hair. "A little bit before, technically, we were all laughing and drunk and then I looked over at you and- yeah. And then the day you got stabbed- Caleb, I was so afraid of losing you and- I'm sorry," he says, cutting himself off. "I just wanted to let you know, so that, if you want to stop sleeping with me, or-"

Caleb wants to walk over to the nearest tree and slam his head into it.

"I am an idiot, Mollymauk, I am an utter  _buffoon_ ," he says. "Do you know," he says, half unbelieving that he can finally say it, "that I have been, have been fucking  _pining_ since Hupperdook?"

Molly's eyes widen fractionally. "But you," he says, caught almost as off-guard as Caleb is, "Fjord said he asked you when you were alone and you snapped at him, and-"

"I was afraid that yet another person would learn of my feelings," Caleb says, frustrated. "Are you telling me that was the reason you thought-" he can't finish the sentence, and slowly squats on the ground, shaking his head. "This," he says, "is the stupidest I have ever felt in my life."

Mollymauk laughs, and pulls him back to his feet. "Cheer up, darling," he says, "it's all out in the open now." His eyes are dancing with mirth, and he looks unbelievably happy.

"Hey, assholes!" Beau yells from the group. "If you want any food, you're gonna need to get over here now!"

Molly sighs, wrapping an arm around Caleb's waist. "We can discuss the rest later," he says. "Over drinks, maybe, or coffee."

"Are you," Caleb begins, and then has to clear his throat. "Are you asking me on a date, Mr. Mollymauk?"

"I do believe I am," Mollymauk says, steering him back to the group. They sit, and then Molly pulls Caleb close, so close that Caleb almost falls into his lap and he can see Beau's eyebrows go up. He looks sheepishly at her and nods a little bit, and a slow smile spreads across her face.

"Who knows?" Molly murmurs to him after a few minutes while the others are distracted, arguing about who gets the last slice of pie. "About your feelings for me, I mean."

"Nott," Caleb murmurs back, equally quiet. "Beau, and Jester, too, but I didn't tell her, she figured it out when I called you  _liebling._ I was lying, by the way. It's a pet name, like darling."

"I told Fjord and Yasha," Molly says, giggling a little bit. "We told  _mutually exclusive groups of people,_ gods, Caleb-"

"Hey," Beau says, looking back at them. "What are you two whispering about?"

Molly, in answer, presses a quick, chaste kiss to Caleb's lips. Jester, catching them pulling away, gasps and asks "Wait, did something happen? Are you two-"

"I've asked Caleb on a date," Molly says. "And he's said yes. So hands off, the rest of you." Caleb rolls his eyes- he doesn't think Molly has to worry- but pandemonium ensues. Everyone starts talking at once. Through the questions, Caleb can hear Fjord yelling, "Now, hold on a minute-"

With Caleb's blessing, Molly explains their earlier conversation. "So now we're going to go on a date, see what happens," he says, and Caleb's heart swells at that. He's still reeling from the events of today. 

"Well," Jester says, "I think we should stop here today then, so we can all have a day to rest, and so we can find a hotel and Caleb can shower before the date because he's really stinky and gross and he needs to make a good impression."

"Caleb is perfect the way he is," Molly declares theatrically, but ruins the moment by adding, "although I don't think a shower would hurt."

"I got  _impaled,_ Mollymauk," Caleb points out. "I think it's, perhaps, a little bit unfair to expect me to be in pristine condition."

Molly only smiles and feeds him a bite of pasta salad.

* * *

Jester, as it turns out, has got more plans for Caleb than a shower. He's dragging his suitcase up into his room when his phone buzzes.

 

**Jester:** ok definitely go shower and everything but then we need to go shopping for your date outfit

**Caleb:** What is wrong with my normal clothes, Jester?

**Jester:** they suck but don't worry I'll go out with you and find you new ones!

**Caleb:** absolutely not.

**Jester:** caaaaaaaleeeeeeeeeeb

**Jester:** don't you want to look good for your first date?

**Jester:** I'll meet you in our room in an hour!!!

 

Caleb tells himself he won't go. He's not vain, and he doesn't need Jester's advice in choosing a perfect outfit. He busies himself with shaving, instead; he may not need to look perfect, but he should at least look respectable. He gets a text from Molly and nearly slices his face open in his rush to check it:

 

**Molly:** I found a really cute looking restaurant

**Molly:** reservation's at seven

**Molly:** wear something nice <3 love you

 

An hour later, he finds himself in Jester's room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternate title: Five Times Molly Almost Revealed His Feelings For Caleb And One Time He Did


	18. Extreme Makeover: Homo Edition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jester helps Caleb get ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's gonna be a short one sorry sometimes I have actual things in my life that I need to do apparently? weird

"Absolutely not," Caleb says firmly.

Jester pouts and puts the sparkly shirt back on the hanger. "Okay, Caleb, but I'm just saying, you know he loves color and sparkle and he'd probably want you to wear something like that to your first date."

They're in Target, looking at clothes. Jester is already a little annoyed at losing the battle to get Caleb to a department store, but Caleb had dug his feet in on that, protesting that he had little enough money as is, and Fjord, their chauffeur sided with him, saying, "Poor guy's already getting dragged out shopping with you, Jester, at least let him keep his dignity." Now that they're here, he does regret coming with Jester instead of just going on his own. So far, half of her suggestions involve sequins, glitter, or incredibly loud shirts.

"Jester, if you don't mind, can we move to the more conservative sections?" he asks uneasily, clearing his throat, and Jester finally takes pity on him and sighs.

"Fine, I guess." She perks up again. "So tell me again, what does Molly want you to wear?"

"He just said something nice," Caleb says. He looks, panicked, at Jester. "What does that even mean?"

Jester frowns thoughtfully. "Okay, so it could mean that he's bringing you to a nice restaurant or something and he doesn't want them to kick you out because you're dressed in shitty clothes, or because he doesn't want you to be underdressed, or if could just mean that he wants you to look nice because the two of you are going out together and he likes you looking nice."

"Jester," Caleb says, slowly, "that is the least helpful interpretation I have ever heard in my life."

She scoffs, turning towards a long rack of shirts. "Whatever, just wear a button-down and slacks, it works for like any situation."

Caleb doesn't know whether that's wrong or right. He's only got one shitty button-down, and it's falling apart, a little bit. He hasn't been in any formal kind of situation since- well, since he broke, and even then, he mostly wore uniforms, or some variant of them. He tries to recall what guests wore, and concludes that Jester is probably right.

"Earth to Caleb," Jester sings, snapping her fingers in front of his face. He starts slightly.

" _Wiederholst du?"_ She stares blankly, and he says, this time in Common, "Can you repeat what you just said?"

She rolls her eyes. "Pay attention Caleb, I'm trying to give you my expert advice. Now,  _obviously_ you're an autumn-"

"I am a what?"

"Don't worry about it, you probably wouldn't understand anyway," she says airily. "Now, you've already shown that you're really boring and don't want to wear anything interesting, so," and she busies herself for a while, pawing through the racks of shirts. Caleb pulls out his phone and quickly looks up what on earth an autumn is. Apparently it's his coloring. He looks up to see Jester, three shirts on her arm, almost through the rack. He takes the shirts from her, looking through them. One is solid tan, one is olive green with a slightly darker check pattern, barely noticeable, and one is solid orange. None of them look too far from something he would wear.

"Okay," Jester says, finishing her search, "Now, for the slacks-"

"Plain," Caleb interrupts. "Black. Please, Jester."

"You are so boring," Jester sighs. "Molly has such good taste in clothing, I don't know why he's so interested in someone who refuses to wear anything interesting at all." 

After a few minutes, Jester chases him into the fitting room with the shirts, two sizes of black slacks, and, despite his best efforts, one grey pair.

"And you need to show me everything!" she calls over the top of the door. "So I can tell you what you're going to wear on your date with Molly!"

Caleb sighs and carefully takes off his shirt and jeans, fastidiously placing them on the block. He tries on the orange shirt, pairing them with a pair of the black slacks. They're definitely too tight, so he tries the larger pair instead, and then opens the door self-consciously. Jester is on her phone and she looks up and smiles hugely, then frowns. 

"Okay, so the pants look really good on you, and you should definitely keep them," she says, "but the shirt actually looks really bad with your hair, and also you'd be wearing orange and black which would make you look like you were wearing Halloween colors." She looks back down at her phone, gesturing for him to return and try something else.

The olive shirt meets Jester's standards. She looks thoughtfully at the tan one. "I don't know, it looks fine on you," she says, "but it's a little bit.... boring."

"I will wear the green shirt then,  _ja?"_ Caleb asks. "I do not think Molly would appreciate boring."

She nods. "Now the grey slacks," she begins, and Caleb resolutely shakes his head.

"I am satisfied with these, Jester, I do not need to try on yet another pair of pants."

She makes an unsatisfied noise. "Fine."

Back in his normal clothes, Caleb heads for the checkout, but Jester grabs his arm and tugs him toward a different aisle. Caleb sighs. "Jester, what is it now?"

"You need to get some cologne," she says as if it's obvious. "You're going on a real fancy date, you should at least smell nice for once."

"I don't want-"

"Caleb, don't worry about it, I'll pick one out for you."

"It's not something that I care to spend money on," Caleb says, trying to tug free.

"I'm buying all of this for you anyway," Jester says. 

"You are not-"

"Caleb, we all know that you're broke, and I like seeing you in nice things. If it really makes you feel bad, then we'll just say it's your Yule present this year."

Caleb sighs and allows her to drag him. It's kind of Jester to give him advice and take him shopping, and it does seem like she's enjoying herself. She flits around, smelling various bottles, nodding at some, grimacing at others. Finally, she picks up a bottle and holds it out to him. "What do you think?"

He sniffs it. It smells like cologne. "Fine, I suppose?" 

"Great!" She grabs a box off the shelf, and finally, finally allows him to go to the checkout line. She chats with the cashier as Caleb stares at the ground, acutely conscious that he looks like a mess next to Jester. He's relieved when they finish, and Fjord exits a nearby cafe once Jester .

"That took forever," he groans. "Caleb, I hope that date of yours is worth it, cause I can't imagine you had any better of a time."

"No, it was very... interesting," Caleb says. He actually finds that he enjoyed himself, much to his surprise. "I do not have any objection to shopping."

"That's good," Jester says, nodding, "because Molly loves to go thrifting and he's probably going to want you to come along in Zadash."

Jester talks nearly non-stop on the way back. Caleb listens to her, half his thoughts on what she's saying and half on the growing nervousness he feels about his date. It's one thing to agree on a date when Molly's arm is around him, and Molly is laughing next to him, and he can relax and follow Molly's lead. It's quite another to prepare for a date at some nebulous location. 

When they reach their hotel, Jester follows him right up into the bathroom. "Hurry up and shower," she says. "It's almost six, and I need to make sure we get everything perfect. Oh, hello Molly!"

"Hey Jester," he says, kissing her cheek. "What are you doing to my poor Caleb?"

"I'm making him look really good for your date," she says. "You're not allowed to see till then, though, so go to our bathroom to get ready, okay?"

Molly sighs. "I don't think I have much of a choice," he says. He leans past Jester to kiss Caleb quickly, and then walks back out of the room. Some of Caleb's nervousness dissipates. 

* * *

When he emerges from the shower in his new clothes, Jester looks at him and immediately shakes her head.

"No, tuck in your shirt," she says, and as he obeys, she asks, "and did you put on the cologne?"

" _Nein."_

She picks up the bottle from the counter and sprays some in the air. "Now walk through it." He does, and she leans in and sniffs him. "Okay, perfect. Now, for your hair-"

Mercifully, his hair is too short for her to suggest doing much with it. She does pull out a small bottle from her bag and massage something gently into his hair.

"Moroccan oil," she says, which doesn't clarify anything for him. She brushes it out and parts it neatly, before stepping back to admire the effect.

"Caleeeeeb, you look so handsome!" she says, beaming. "Nott, doesn't he look great!"

Nott looks up from her phone. "Oh, wow," she says. "Caleb, you look.... different. Are you ok?"

"It's just new clothes, Nott." Nott turns away, and he hears, whispering in his ear, "Caleb, are you being forced into this by Jester? You can reply to this mess- actually, blink once for no, twice for yes!" She stares anxiously at him, and Caleb blinks once. Nott looks doubtful, but turns away again.

"Oh my gosh, Caleb," Jester wails, springing back towards him. "You forgot to take the tags off!" She removes them for him, and casts critical eyes over him. "Okay, you shaved, which is good, and I think you're done, Caleb!"

He goes back into the bathroom to look at himself, and is pleasantly surprised to see that he actually does look handsome. It's been a while since he put- well,  _any_ effort into looking good. To be honest, half the time, he was attempting to look the literal opposite. 

There's a knock at the door, and he goes to answer it, but Jester gets there first, pushing him back into the bathroom. "Just wait, it'll be a really good surprise!" She opens the door. "Hello, Molly," she says, drawing it out.

"Jester, dear, you know I love you, but if we're any later, we'll miss our reservation. Where's Caleb?"

"I am right here," Caleb says lamely, stepping out of the bathroom. He flushes slightly as Molly's eyebrows go up, and he eyes Caleb up and down. 

"You know what? I take it all back. Thank you, Jester."

Molly looks awfully nice himself, Caleb has to admit. He's ditched the coat, and is wearing an ornately beaded long-sleeved shirt and loose-fitting pants- what were they called? Culottes?- in a deep burgundy. 

"You look very good," he says awkwardly, and Jester giggles.

"You do too, but I wasn't kidding about our reservation." Molly takes Caleb's arm and escorts him down to the van, chattering about some show Caleb's never heard about called Queer Eye, and how Jester really should be one of the members. It's only when they pull up in front of a small, cozy-looking restaurant, and Molly helps him out of the car that it really sinks in.

He's going on a date with Mollymauk Tealeaf.

Caleb thinks he might faint. 


	19. Date Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb and Molly finally resolve their romantic tension.

"So," Caleb says, smiling nervously at Molly.

"So," Molly says.

They stare at each other in unbearable silence before their waiter comes over and hands them menus, and blessedly, Caleb has a chance to hide behind it, ostensibly to look at the selection of beers.

It had been going  _so well._ They had parked at the restaurant, and Molly had taken his arm again, and they had been in time for their reservation after all, and Caleb had pulled out Molly's chair for him, blushing when Molly cooed, "Such a gentleman!"

And then they had sat down and Caleb could think of nothing to say.

What made it worse is that Molly, usually one to start a conversation about literally  _anything_ with anyone, was also uncharacteristically quiet, scanning through the menu, seeming not to notice Caleb's eyes on him. In the awkward moments that follow, the waiter comes and Caleb points to one of the beers on the menu, essentially at random. Molly orders one of the restaurant's specialty cocktail, and the waiter smiles, telling them he'll be back soon. He leaves, and Caleb realizes he still can't think of a single thing to say to Molly.

"So, what do you think?" Molly asks.

"Of the restaurant? It is very nice," Caleb says, desperately seizing on this lifeline. 

"Had good reviews," Molly says, and then it's silent again.

Caleb opens his mouth twice, about to say something, before realizing how completely stupid they would sound out loud.

"Caleb, I'm sorry," Molly says, sighing and leaning back in his chair. "This is..... not a good date, is it. I'm sorry."

" _Nein!"_ Caleb protests. "This is a wonderful date, Molly, it's just... I am nervous," he confesses. "I've never been on a real date before."

"You think you're nervous?" Molly says, laughing a little bitterly. "Oh, sure, I can flirt, I can tease, but I have no experience with an actual relationship. Everything I know is because of movies, or people telling me stories." 

"We do not, perhaps, make a functional couple," Caleb jokes weakly, and Molly laughs for real at that.

"Understatement of the century," he says, and falls silent for a moment, chewing his lip absentmindedly. "Have you really never been on a date?"

"Never," Caleb says honestly. "I had.... well, girlfriend may not be a good word. My fellow student, Astrid. We were not officially dating, but we kissed, and danced, and did everything together. I think we were afraid if we named it then Ikathon would use it against us."

"That's horrible," Molly says. "But back that up a moment. You know how to  _dance?"_

"Not real dancing, not the kind you do," Caleb says. "Waltzes, and foxtrots, and all those kinds." He fumbles for the word in Common.

"Ballroom dances," Molly supplies, looking amused. "You are full of surprises, Mr. Caleb."

They're still smiling at each other when the waiter comes with their drinks, and they both fumble for the menu. Caleb is about to choose a dish before he realizes it's full of garlic, and he wants to kiss Molly after this. He settles, instead, for sausage and potatoes, something familiar and cheap, and Molly orders the restaurant's lamb chop. They hand the menus to the waiter, who disappears again.

"Is there a reason you ordered sausage?" Molly asks.

" _Ja,_ where I am from, there is a lot of sausage," Caleb says. "It's one of the few foods I can eat that brings me back to the good times in my childhood, before- you know."

Molly blinks. "I was going to make an innuendo," he says, "but it seems like this would be a bad time."

Caleb smiles at him. "I'm shocked," he teases. "I didn't know you had any shame."

"We're acquainted, but only distantly," Molly says, nodding. "I try not to let shame get in the way of anything I do."

"That sounds like a very relaxing way to live."

"It is," Molly says, "but you don't many times like this." He waves his hand at their surroundings, at Caleb. "Someone who takes you seriously that you don't push off by asking for too much."

"It turns out," Caleb says, "that living with shame is much the same way, except it is because you are too afraid to ask for nice things."

"You think I'm a nice thing?"

"I do. I think you are a very nice thing, possibly even the best thing."

He's never seen Molly blush, but he assumes this is what it looks like- his face has gone red under his purple skin. Molly manages, "Do you know, I think that's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said about me."

It goes well, after that. Their food arrives a little bit later, and Caleb, acutely conscious now of Molly's eyes on him, eats his sausage as non-sexually as possible, cutting it into tiny chunks. The food is good, and Caleb manages to actually finish his portion for once. They aren't always talking, but the silence is comfortable now that they've broken the ice. The waiter clears their plates, and Molly, glancing at Caleb, asks, "Dessert? I'm partial to sweet things, but..."

"Why not?"

The waiter hands them a menu, which Caleb hands to Molly, murmuring that Molly can choose. He doesn't have a particular fondness for desserts, but it would be nice to lean over the table with Molly, share a dessert like that.

Molly orders some chocolate mousse cake. "And two forks, if you don't mind," he calls after the waiter, who nods.

"You like chocolate," Caleb says. It's not so much a question as a note to himself, for future reference.

"I do," Molly says. "It's good, what can I say? And for some reason, I cannot stand fruit in pastries, or fruit-flavored pastries. It limits my options."

"How can you dislike fruit in pastries?" Caleb asks, outraged. More than half of the desserts he has enjoyed in his life have been full of fruit- fresh, dried, candied. "I'll have you know that Zemnian desserts are built around having fruit in them!"

"Interesting," Molly says delicately. "Remind me never to visit, then." 

Caleb sighs and shakes his head. "I am on a date with a cretin," he murmurs, smiling slightly. 

The cake arrives quickly, the check politely hidden under the plate, and Molly, after their waiter has departed, holds up two spoons. "We're supposed to eat cake with a spoon?" he asks, looking horrified. 

"Evidently." Caleb grabs one from him. "After you."

Molly sighs, but leans in, carving a perfect bite out of the cake, getting the filling, icing, cake, and a swirl of whipped cream. He closes his eyes. "Oh, that's  _really_ good."

Caleb tries a bite. It's good, but he generally prefers less rich desserts. He allows Molly to eat most of it, only taking occasional bites. Molly scoops up the last bite, and then, realizing how little Caleb has had, offers it to Caleb. Caleb doesn't particularly want the cake, but he leans in and allows Molly to feed him the last bite anyway. 

"That was amazing," Molly says, grinning. He pulls out three gold pieces and drops them on top of the check, stretching.

"Molly, that is approximately a 600% tip."

"I can afford it," Molly says, smiling. "You still awake enough to do something?"

"It is only 9:03, Mollymauk," Caleb says. "I am not a grandmother."

"How do you do that?" Molly demands, pulling out his phone. "You always know exactly what time it is without bothering to look at a watch or anything! It's horrifying!"

Caleb laughs, guiding Molly out of the restaurant. "I am very smart," he says, allowing himself to be a little bit smug. It's better that Molly thinks he's more interesting than he really is. Molly grumbles, but Caleb can tell he's smiling.

"Where to now?" Molly asks. "Go to a bar and get well and truly drunk?"

"I do not think so," Caleb says shyly. "I would like to remember this tomorrow. Why not go to a park, or some such? Take a walk?"

Molly pulls out his phone and, after a quick search, finds a park near the hotel. He drives there, and Caleb props his head on his elbow, staring at Molly, the way that streetlights brush over his face, casting deep shadows. He's beautiful, and Caleb tells him so, and is rewarded by another blush.

The park is small, but pretty. Molly takes Caleb's hand, and the pair walk through the park. It's quiet, but it's a nice sort of quiet. The moon is only about half-full, waning, but it provides enough light for Caleb to not trip over anything. Molly, of course, is fine with his darkvision. They stop to sit on a bench, and Molly puts his arm around Caleb's shoulders, staring up at the moon.

"Isn't it pretty?" Molly asks quietly. 

"It is lovely,  _ja_."

Without really thinking about it, he leans his head on Molly's shoulder, and Molly sighs.

"This is all well and good, Caleb, but I was just about to kiss you."

"Oh! Sorry." He pulls his head up, and Molly cups his cheek and kisses him so softly. He doesn't know how long they sit there, holding each other, kissing, but too soon Molly pulls away, looking at Caleb with wide red eyes.

"Caleb," he says hoarsely, and then clears his throat and tries again. "Caleb," he says, "I don't know- maybe this is too early, or I'm doing it wrong, but... is it ok if we go out together?"

Caleb blinks, puzzled. "Didn't we just go out with each other?"

Molly laughs. "Caleb, I'm asking you to be my  _boyfriend."_

"Oh!" Caleb feels his cheeks go hot. "I- I mean, I didn't- I would,  _ja,_ Molly. I would love to."

"Cool," Molly says stupidly, and he can't tell in the dark, but he thinks Molly is blushing, too. "That's.... great. Thank you, I mean. Or- what am I supposed to say?"

Caleb, laughing, leans in and kisses Molly again. They separate more readily this time, and Molly smiles.

"See, kissing I can do," he says. "Talking about my feelings? That's... different."

"Oh," Caleb says, unsure how to feel.

"Not bad different!" Molly says quickly. "I wouldn't trade this for the world."

They stay on the bench for a while after that, cuddling, kissing, talking. It's a good way to end the date, Caleb thinks. They so often don't have time alone together when the others are around.

* * *

 **Jester:** CALEB HOW DID IT GO?!?!?!?!?!

 **Caleb:** It was lovely. Thank you for the advice.

 **Jester:** THAT DOESN'T DESCRIBE A LOT BUT YOU ARE WELCOME!!!!!

 

Caleb smiles at that, in the elevator with Molly. He hadn't thought about it, but he and Molly will be sharing a bed tonight, as usual. Hopefully, it isn't awkward.

It isn't awkward, as it turns out. They settle easily into their usual positions: Molly wrapped around Caleb, Caleb's head resting on Molly's chest, and the familiarity of Molly- of  _his boyfriend_ \- being close to him is soothing. He drifts off slowly.

He wakes early the next day when Fjord gently shakes him.

"Sorry, Caleb," he says apologetically, "But our flight is tomorrow, and we really can't miss it, I don't think Cali would get us another. We need to head out."

Caleb grumbles, pushing himself up on his elbows. " _Ja,_ you are right," he says tiredly. "I will be ready in a second."

Molly, beside him, pulls him back down and kisses him. Fjord coughs and says, "Well, I'll be- downstairs. You two hurry up, yeah?" and exits quickly.

"Good morning," Molly whispers softly when they break apart. 

" _Guten Morgen, liebling,"_ Caleb says back, reveling in the fact that he can say that to this beautiful man. His  _boyfriend._

They manage to get ready quickly, packing their overnight bags back up, and meeting Fjord in the lobby ten minutes later.

"Caleeeeeeb!" Jester squeals as soon as she sees him, launching herself at him. "Where did you go? What happened? You need to tell me everything."

"Jester, please leave my poor boyfriend alone," Molly says, placing particular emphasis on the word  _boyfriend._ Everyone looks at him for a moment, before Beau turns around and punches Fjord in the shoulder, who winces.

"I  _told_ you he would pull some shit like this!" she hisses savagely. 

"You're dating?" Yasha asks. 

Molly nods, beaming at the chaos his announcement has caused.

"Well, first of all, congrats to the two of ya," Fjord says. "But we need to head out."

Caleb's phone buzzes as he's getting into the van, and he checks it once he's buckled in, as the van begins to move.

 

 **Molly:** sorry I realized I should have asked you before dishing on our relationship

 **Molly:** are you mad at me?

 **Caleb:** Never, liebling. Jester would have interrogated it out of me regardless.

 **Molly:** lol tru

 

Molly's arm wraps around him, and Caleb leans into him. 

* * *

It's odd, Caleb reflects that night in bed with Molly, to think that the trip is almost over. This is the last time he'll sleep in this bed with Molly. Tomorrow will be the last day of sitting with the others. The thought makes him ache in a strange way, to think of going back to his and Nott's quiet apartment, only seeing the group when they work together or when they have dinners together.

"Caleb," Molly murmurs, "stop worrying and go to sleep."

"How can you tell that I am worrying?"

"You're always worrying."

He's not entirely wrong. Caleb presses his lips to Molly's forehead, and then to Molly's lips. He curls up, listening to the breathing of everyone in the car, and fixes this sensation in his memory. He falls asleep, mercifully, just as Fjord begins to snore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my aesthetic is listening to romantic songs to try and get ideas for what Molly and Caleb would do on a date


	20. The End of the Tour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb goes home.

After spending all that time and effort to get to Labenda, Caleb wasn't expecting it to be such a shithole.

But it is a shithole, there's no denying it. The buildings are dilapidated, the air reeks of muck and decay, the people don't meet their eyes. As they drive through, Jester asks, unusually timid, "Fjord, are you sure this is the right place? Like you made sure you didn't take a wrong turn or-"

"I'm sure, Jester."

"It's the closest town to what Cali is looking for that has an airport," Beau pipes up from the back, sounding as groggy as they all felt at eight in the morning. "I mean, yeah, it sucks, but it's the right place."

"Is this Cali going to meet us there?" Caleb asks, trying to stay quiet enough not to wake Molly, asleep on his shoulder.

"I don't think so," Jester says, sighing. "I mean, I texted her and she didn't respond, but she told us to just park the van over in the airport parking lot, so," she shrugs, "I guess that's all we can do. I hope she's okay, she was really nice."

"Any of y'all need anything before we go?" Fjord asks. There's a chorus of nos. "All right, then," he says. "To the airport we go, I guess."

Molly grumbles as Caleb rouses him and nuzzles into Caleb's shoulder, stretching his legs. "What's going on?" he asks sleepily. 

"We are almost at the airport,  _liebling,"_ Caleb murmurs. 

Molly sighs, twisting slightly in his seat. Caleb hears a series of pops in his spine and winces slightly. "Well, then," Molly says, "I suppose this is it."

"Oh, also, all of you," Fjord says as he pulls into a spot, "did y'all check to make sure all your weapons are in the checked bags?" This question is very obviously directed at Nott. Everyone pretends not to notice.

"Of course I did," Nott says. "No hand crossbow or anything."

" _All_ of your weapons, Nott?"

"Well," Nott says, smiling nervously. "Maybe one or two."

They stand there awkwardly as Nott crams three knives, a throwing star, and a vial of acid into the checked bags, before finally, all packed, looking at the van.

"I feel like we should say something," Beau says, leaning against Yasha.

"Long may it reign," Nott says.

Beau nods. "Long may the van reign, yeah, that's... good."

"Shine bright, circus van," Caleb adds. Everyone looks at him oddly. "I just meant, you know, since it holds so many of us, and it's like, one of those cars, where the clowns come out of them, and...." he trails off.

"It's a van, Caleb," Molly says, looking at him blankly. "Not a clown car. It looks proportional to the number of people it holds, it's not like there's any surprise when you open the door and, wow, seven people come out."

Jester sniffs slightly. "Goodbye to the van-ticore," she says sounding emotional, and Molly sighs.

"Hearing that has put me off any hope of actual emotion about this. Can we go?"

Fjord checks his watch. "Shit," he says, grabbing a suitcase. "We should go, yeah, Molly."

Checking their bags is boring. Going through airport security is nerve-wracking; Caleb has a false passport, and he knows it is a good one, and he knows that if someone isn't fooled, he could cast Suggest on them, but it's still intensely terrifying to have someone inspecting it up close. He tries to keep his face calm, bored, and Molly squeezes his hand, and finally, finally, the man hands the passport back to him, waves him towards the security line, and Caleb has to fight not to sigh in relief. He hurries through, placing his bag, coat, and shoes on the conveyor belt, receiving them on the other side. There's a moment of worry when Nott sets off the metal detector, but it turns out to be a box of buttons in her pocket, and Caleb does breathe a sigh of relief at that. 

Reunited on the other side, they make their way to the gate. There's an anxious moment where Caleb, seeing the empty gate, thinks they've missed their flight, but they manage to get on with five minutes to spare, and he sits next to Molly, relieved. Molly has called the window seat, and Caleb, curious, asks, "Is this your first time on a flight?"

"That I remember," Molly says, looking around at everything with interest. They start announcing the safety features, and Molly is the only one who actually pays a minimal amount of attention. And then they're hurtling down the runway, and Caleb, nervous, takes Molly's hand, and Molly squeezes it, staring intently out of the window, and Caleb can practically feel his excitement as the plane lifts off. He relaxes as it does, but doesn't let go of Molly's hand. Molly looks out of the window for a while, grinning down at the patchwork landscape, and it's only when clouds mask the view that he turns back.

"That is amazing," he says, for once sounding genuine. "That is truly spectacular."

"It is," Caleb admits. "I do not think you appreciate it, once you have been in a plane for a few times, but it is a nice view."

"Maybe you don't appreciate it," Jester says on his other side, sulking. She was nice enough to allow Molly the window, and to allow Caleb to sit next to his boyfriend, but she looks unhappy about being unable to see well. "I think it's really cool, still."

Caleb sighs. "Jester, if it makes you unhappy, you can switch seats with Fjord." Fjord was a row behind them, sitting next to Nott. Caleb hears Nott retch for what must be the third time this minute, and winces.

"Yeah, feel free," Fjord says unhappily. "This is really fuckin' gross."

"Goblins are not meant to fly," Caleb hears Nott say, and then she chokes and retches again. 

"And on that note," Molly says, hastily pulling out his earbuds.

Caleb ends up sleeping for nearly the entire flight on Molly's shoulder. He wakes up twice: once when a flight attendant stops to offer drinks, and once as the pilot announces their descent. He sits up at that, looking out the window. The lights of Zadash are laid out beneath them, and Molly is glued to the window again. Caleb smiles and leans over to kiss his cheek.

"It looks so much nicer from up here," Molly says, sighing. 

"I have no objection to Zadash on the ground level," Caleb objects mildly. The plane drops, and his stomach lurches. "In fact, I think I would prefer it around now."

Molly shakes his head and leans further towards the window. Caleb sighs and leaves him to it, only disturbing him to hold his hand in a white-knuckled grip as the plane touches down. He's always been afraid of landing, afraid that the plane will careen off the runway. Jester takes his other hand, and he squeezes that one too, only letting go as they finally trundle to a crawl. 

The next half hour is a rush of picking up baggage, calling Ubers, arguing about who takes the weapons bag, forcibly dragging a pale but determined Nott away from the bag with her hand crossbow, putting an illusion on her so the Uber driver doesn't freak out at the goblin in his car, and it's only when he's sitting in their Uber with her that he can finally relax, process what's happening. In a sense it hasn't sunk in yet that the trip is over- after all, he's been in a variety of other vehicles with them since they left the van at the airport. He looks at the window, allows his mind to wander, have some temporary peace and quiet. It's over almost too soon as they pull in front of the apartment, and Caleb sees Fjord struggling to haul the last of their bags through the door. He exits, reveling in the cool night air, and Nott scurries to join him. As the driver pulls away, he thinks he sees her tucking a handful of copper pieces that she almost certainly did not have before into her shirt, and almost asks her if they were the driver's before deciding he would really rather not know. 

It's odd, walking into their apartment. It's loud, of course- everyone is currently clustered in Beau, Fjord, and Jester's apartment, retrieving their weapons. Nott races to join them, but Caleb stays at their door. He supposes that's what's convenient about being a wizard- not needing to worry about anything but a component pouch. He digs into his pouch now, retrieves his keys, unlocks the door and steps in. It smells familiar, in a way that almost knocks him back a step. He takes a moment to relax into it, and it finally sinks in, at that, that he's home, the trip is over. He leaves the door unlocked and open for Nott, steps in, looking around almost in wonder.

It's strange, he thinks. It hasn't even been two weeks, and yet so much has changed since last time he walked out of this door. He trusts his friends, and they trust him. They know his secrets. He has a boyfriend, and it's his next door neighbor, a man who he thought he could never trust. In fact, if you had asked him who he trusted the least, he would probably have answered Mollymauk. It's amazing how much being forced into a confined space can do for a friendship.

There's a knock on the door, and Caleb turns to see Molly leaning against the door frame, as if he had summoned him by thinking about him. Molly's swords are strapped to his back, a little askew. In the background, Caleb can hear Nott and Beau arguing about whose knives are whose.

"Hey," Molly says, smiling at him. "So, Yasha is staying over at Beau's tonight, and I was. Well. I was thinking, maybe you'd want to come stay over tonight. Finally get some privacy together, maybe try a few things."

Molly's intentions are obvious, and Caleb can't help but blush. " _Ja,_ er, just allow me to get my overnight things." He hurries into his room, sets down his backpack, pulls out what he needs. He's distracted by his phone buzzing, and he pulls it out, reading hastily through the messages.

 

 **Manic Tiefling Dream Girl:** you guys we should have a really nice dinner together to celebrate getting back

 **Asshole:** we should that sounds excellent

 **Asshole:** I'll bring the booze

 **Pretty and Witty and GAY:** sounds good to me

 **Pretty and Witty and GAY:** as long as jester and fjord do the cooking

 **Grumpy Wizard:** I will be there, if it happens.

 

He slips his phone back into his pocket, comforted by the fact that they'll still be eating together, even if they aren't all living together, and rummages around in his bag for his toothbrush before slipping out, embarrassed, past Nott, who raises an eyebrow but doesn't question it. He has good friends, he knows. He pauses at the door to Molly's apartment, thinking about it. It's nice, to have friends like this, and he allows himself to daydream about a future where he and Molly are married, live in one bedroom of a big house with them, live and laugh and forget about the past together...

"Caleb, my love," Molly calls from his room, snapping him out of it, "stop overthinking things and come to bed with me." 

And so he does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thank you to everyone who left kudos and commented!!! I'm too anxious to reply to your comments because I'll make a fool of myself but please know that I read every single one of them and that's 90% of why I actually was able to finish a multi-part fanfic for once instead of getting bored or frustrated or embarrassed by my writing! Anyway y'all are wonderful love you


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